Quizzo Bowl 3: What a Feelin’!

flashdance (Custom).bmp
A sold out crowd at the World Cafe Live was rocking on Saturday night, as JGT turned it up to 11 and the Kenny Gates Trio rocked the house. In the end, the Sofa Kingdom stood alone as King of the Dorks, and the Champs dreams of a three-peat were dashed.

It was a night that had it all: devastating drum solos, major surprises, half naked women, a half naked quizmaster, and of course controversy. The night began with Alexis Brie Wildau performing on the ukelele. The crowd was a little skeptical at first, but warmed to her peformance when she kicked into Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer”. She was followed by One Man Show David Smith, who played guitar while performing the human pretzel. (If the human pretzel is indeed something that is “performed”.)
Picture 004 (Custom).jpg
Finally it was time for JGT to take the stage. Despite assurances that I would not be rapping, I surprised everyone by opening the show with some totally ill hip-hop. With the Bears in the Super Bowl, it was obvious what song I had to rap: The Quizzo Bowl Shuffle. It was then time for the actual contest to begin.

There were 37 teams, and 6 of them emerged from the first round unscathed. My dad’s team was in last after one round. But they rebounded strongly acing round number 2, the 50/50 round (Chicago or Indy). The Satan’s MInions were the only team to make it thru two rounds without missing a question, and they held a narrow 37-36 lead over MAGMA after two.
umbrella (Custom).jpg
Halftime saw the emegence of the Hellcat Girls (They were the same as the Bawdy Girls I had been promoting, but they just wanted me to announce them by a different name). The reaction to their performance was mixed, as I believe they usually play in wilder, rowdier venues. I didn’t see any of it, as I was preparing for my song and dance number. When they were done, I emerged from the back wearing a lacy tux, but it didn’t stay on long. Though I only performed Flashdance for about 2 minutes, the performance was enough to firmly establish me as one of Philly’s most talented singers and dancers. Again, I hope to have video tommorrow.
what a feelin (Custom) (3).bmp
The Champs had struggled through two rounds, but made their move in Round Three, as they were the only team to ace the Sexy and Risque Wild Card Round. But even a perfect round only put them in 2nd, behind the shocking leaders after three: Barbaro’s S & M: Beating a Dead Horse, a team led by Trivia Art and Smackdown. After another incredible jam session by the Kenny Gates Trio, it was on to the Impossible Round, a round marked by controversy, finger pointing, and the emergence of a new champion.

Continue reading “Quizzo Bowl 3: What a Feelin’!”

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Now Count to 10

Finally had some time today to work on the story for Quizzo Bowl 3. Spent about 2 1/2 hours of writing and rewriting until I had what I wanted. I then hit save, and that’s when I realized that the internet in the cafe I was located had just gone down. Therefore the entire story was lost. If anyone needs to contact me this afternoon, just follow the F****** sound of valuable things being smashed by a F****** baseball bat. You should find me nearby.

Another great Simms line

psimms_new.jpg
Oh, there was another thing he said that I almost forgot about. I think it was about midway thru the 2nd quarter, after it had been raining for about an hour and a half, and one of the quarterbacks made a really bad pass. Simms said, w/o sarcasm or irony but to help us better understand the game of football, “I think there might be some moisture on that ball.” GEE WHIZ, PHIL, YA THINK SO??? What makes you say that, the five fumbles so far or the pouring rain that has drenched everything below it? I mean, seriously, how high of an IQ do you think a person has to have to make the deduction that after an hour and a half of pouring down rain, “there might be some moisture on the football”? I’d say 30. So I’m gonna guess that Phil Simms has an IQ hovering around 29.

Johnny Auctioned Off

Auction%2008 (Custom).jpg
Alright, I finally got the 411 on the auction yesterday. It was a silent auction, so I had to leave before I saw how much I was worth. The winning bid to go bowling with me was $50, which ain’t great, but could have been worse. Here’s the funny part: I saw a couple of cute girls who were up for bid, and their prices were pretty low. So I figured I’d bump their values up a few bucks. I mean, hey, it’s for charity, right? There was another hour left in the bidding when I left, so I was sure I’d get outbid on both. I didn’t. I don’t know what was up with the other dudes at the party, but somehow I won both. So yeah, I got three freaking dates out of this thing. I sort of know the one girl who bid on me, but I’ve never seen the other two in my life, so I think these will be my first ever blind dates. I’m going to a Flyers game on Saturday, I think, then I’m going to some play in a few weeks. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
RELATED: Johnny auctioned off for charity.

News and Notes

of=50,332,442 (Custom).jpg
Just got back from WIlmington where I watched the Super Bowl with my family. Am starting on the final story for QB3. Will have it up by tommorrow morning. (also gotta work on tonight’s Wheel of Terrific, so if I don’t get it up this afternoon, it’ll most def be up manana morning). Gonna recount all the scores to make sure we got ’em right and then post final standings tommorrow.

The pic above is a pretty wild one of the now infamous “Dumping of the tickets”, when the dancer was supposed to dump glitter on me and accidentally dumped out all of the raffle tickets on me instead. I had my eyes closed when it happened, and when the tickets hit my face, I was like, “That is big glitter.” It wasn’t until after I was done dancing that my simple mind finally realized what had happened. At the afterparty, somebody said, “You know that you’re going to need to make the dumping of the ticekts an annual part of Quizzo Bowl, don’t you? That was amazing.” And so, a tradition is born.

As for the Super Bowl, I still can’t decide what was worse: the commercials, the announcers, or Rex Grossman. I really didn’t laugh at any of the commercials, Grossman shoulda been pulled after the first interception, and Phil Simms is the stupidest man alive in America. In a night marked by incredibly worthelss “insight”, his best remark came when one of the cameramen got plowed over by a receiver. He said, honestly, “You can’t get scared down there, you can’t get cabin fever.” Yes, that is correct, Phil. You can’t get cabin fever down there. SInce cabin fever occurs when you are alone, indoors, and in the midst of freezing weather, it is extremely hard to catch when you are surrounded by 80,000 people, you are outdoors, and you are in Miami.

Beetlejuice tonight!

TNbeetlejuice.jpg
Alright gang, time to turn it up to 11. Yeah, you partied all night Saturday and all day Sunday. Well, it is time to kick it into overdrive. We’re showing Beetle Juice tonight at the Trocadero (1003 Arch Street), a movie which I am ashamed to admit that I have never seen. It all begins with a $3 you call it Happy Hour from 6-7 p.m. The Wheel starts spinning at 7:30 p.m., and there is movie trivia at intermission. Hope to see you there!

Kingdom Reigns Supreme!

sofa_kingdom_qb3_sm.jpg
The Sofa Kingdom won Quizzo Bowl 3 on Saturday night, in a match filled with intrigue, heartbreak, and controversy. Of course, there was more than just quizzo, as we had a ukelele player, a human pretzel, burlesque dancers, and a jazz band (the Kenny Gates Trio) that absolutely ripped it. Oh, and then there was Flashdance. Please feel free to leave your thoughts and recollections below, and I will be back on Monday with a full recap of the festivities and final scores of all of the teams. We got some great pics, but if you got any photos of the event PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE email them to me, so we can put all of them together in the same place. Thanks!!!