…I’m heading to Jersey to be in a music video. Don’t ask. I really don’t know how this happened. But I’ll be back Sunday to post results of this week. Remember, Monday night: Football quizzo at 7:30 p.m., followed by Monday Night Football, Eagles vs. Packers on the movie screen with concert sound AND the Wheel of Terrific at halftime. Boo-yaka-shot.
Month: September 2006
JGT Has a New Theme Song
Damn, yo, Weird Al’s still got it.
Season over
Yep, the Phils lost two of three to one of the worst teams in baseball. They’ll win tonight, and the Dodgers will lose tonight, just to reel us back in one last time, but the Dodgers will not lose two of three. We’re finished. Pathetic. We should have lost Wednesday night too. What a choke. I wish the silver lining was that this would mean that the Phils would fire Uncle Charlie and make a push for Joe Girardi, but we all know that that will never happen. The highlight of the game was this, from Rich Hoffmann’s article in today’s paper: Later, they booed the pathetic excuse for Thomas Jefferson who fell down twice in a race of big-headed presidential mascots – after, that is, they greeted the big-heads with a serenade to the Phillies’ expert on all races of mascots: “Ran-dall Simon … Ran-dall Simon … “ To make matters worse, the pitcher who got the win for LA in yesterday’s Dodgers-Rockies game? Mark Hendrickson, a former Sixer! God has a sick sense of humor.
Oh, and a clarification. The Eagles game we’re showing on Monday will be the live Eagles-Packers game, not a replay of the 1960 game. Somebody asked me that last night.
Watch Eagles-Packers game on largest screen in the City!
Monday night, the Eagles will be playing the team they defeated to win their last NFL title, the Green Bay Packers. And the Troc is gonna be showing it on their enormous movie screen. More importantly, you’ll get a chance to hang out and watch the game with yours truly, and get to see just how emotionally unhinged I become during sporting events. It’s going to be concert sound, on the big screen, and there will be $2 PBRs, dollar dogs, and $10 buckets of Corona ponies for you snobs who can’t be happy with PBR. There will be a hot dog eating contest at halftime, lots of football trivia, and yes, the most HATED game show in the tri-state area will be rearing its ugly head, as Chip and I will be hosting the Wheel of Terrific on the main stage. You have to see it if you haven’t seen it yet.
Hurting
The plan: Finish up my private gig last night, go watch the end of the Phillies game and grab a quick beer, then still be home early. I haven’t paid my bills in months, and I’ve got a lot of work to get done on Thursday, so it’s important that I get a good night’s sleep!
The reality: Phils game goes an excrutiating 14 innings, lasting well past midnight. I have a few beers. Then things get ugly. The freaking rocket scientists I’m hanging out with decide that we should celebrate the Phils win by drinking mind erasers. Not one, but two. I never do shots. Why? So I never feel the way I do RIGHT F****** NOW! To make matters worse, I had a construction crew at my house at 9 a.m., so I’ve been lying in bed, listening to drills and hammers for the past 2+ hours. I am in a world of pain.
This is Pathetic
If TO had taken 35 pills, would doctors really let him practice football the next day? I mean, seriously. I don’t know what happened last night, but I believe what Terrell says. Remember a couple of years ago when everyone was convinced that Mike Piazza was gay, so he had to answer questions about it? I think this is even more pathetic than that. Nice job, drive-by media. I forgot, what type of champagne was John Mark Karr drinking on the plane?
Yeah, there were two things that could have happened last night. Either he had an allergy or he tried to commit suicide. But “Suicide” makes for much sexier headlines, more page views, and higher ratings. So you go with the suicide story and don’t lend any credence to the other very possible story. Another miserable perormance by our unaccountable news media who doesn’t report news, but reports speculation.
Jam Master Sean to host at Black Sheep tonight
JGT will be at the Vous tonight, but he has a private gig and will thus miss quizzo at the Black Sheep. However, you will get a chance to hang with the second best Rock Paper Scissors player in Philadelphia, Jam Master Sean, who will be hosting tonight.
Relax
OK, before you go apes*** because you think that TO tried to kill himself, keep in mind that there’s a decent chance that he didn’t. Remember that this is the same drive by media that gave us Richard Jewel and John Mark Karr, a media that has no interest in accountability, only in sexy,explosive headlines. Police reports are by no means the final say in what really happened, they are simply what’s reported to the police. The woman reporting this might not have known how many pills were in the bottle before TO took them, and just said something in the heat of the moment. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this is a reaction to his pain pills. So wait until the facts are out before you freak out, because there’s a lot more of what we don’t know than what we do.
Related: Here’s the police report.
Ze Pain, Boss, Ze Pain
The first question in last nights quizzo was as follows: “What Phillie outfielder is the worst player in the history of organized baseball, including my sister, who played t-ball and once ran the bases backwards? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not Shane Victorino.” Pat Burrell is absolutely killing this team, and needs to be benched for the remainder of the season, no matter how bad Dellucci’s arm is. Pat Burrell this year is worse than David Bell last year, something that I thought was humanly impossible. I honestly think that the Phillies would have a better chance with me at the plate than Burrell, and I haven’t played organzied ball since I was 15. I am serious about that last statement. I really think Burrell is so far gone that you could pick a random person out of the crowd and have a better chance of them sticking the bat out in front of the plate and getting a lucky hit than you would of Burrell coming through with runners on. I don’t care how much money he makes, or how good his arm is, he needs to sit on the bench for the rest of the year, and then be traded to the Devil Rays for a fungo bat and a resin bag.
Crunch time
Last night was brutal. I mean, I left one of my favorite movies early to watch the last two innings, all for naught. But I’m keeping my head up. Last week, I said we had to take 2 of 3 from the Marlins and then beat the Astros. Ok, so we just swapped and came out of it 3-1. No sweat. We just need to go 4-2 the rest of the way to tie the Dodgers, 5-1 to win outright. The Nationals are terrible. Just intentionally walk Soriano every time, and we should be fine. I’d love to sweep, but I’ll take two. The Dodgers go to Colorado to face the Rockies, then to San Fran for the Giants. We are a much better road team than the Dodgers. We are seven over .500 on the road, they are nine under. I’m now going to enter the zen-like zone I entered during the RPS tourney and try to transfer my powers to the Phils to help propel us to the promised land. You’re welcome.