Any faith mankind had in survival of the fittest took a serious blow last night, as some idiot jumped 40 feet onto a net at Yankee Stadium, but emerged almost unscathed. You hate to see that happen. Him living, I mean. I didn’t take any reckless chances when I was 18, so I have no sympathy for guys like this.

As most of you have heard by now, the mother of a young man who was killed in Iraq is protesting outside George Bush’s ranch in Texas, demanding to meet with the President. She is asking George Bush to send his daughters over to Iraq, since the cause is so noble. However, we all know that they can’t go to Iraq because the Happy Hours there…like…totally suck. So anyways, the right wing has begun doing what they’re best at: destroying people (yes I notice the irony of using this sentence after taking jabs at the Bush twins. Get over it.) Here’s one of hundreds of websites that attacks Sheehan, though the responses the guy has gotten haven’t been all that favorable. Also, I’m going to come clean: I don’t know if my use of irony a few sentences ago was proper. I used to know what irony meant, but I have had so many people tell me so many different things that I now have no clue.

Eleven of our presidents have belonged to this denomination of faith, the most presidential followers of any. What denomination is it? Still hoping for more entries to the “Come Up With the Best Golf Porn Name” contest. $15 is four or five free cold ones at the Good Dog.

Gene Mauch, perhaps the most snakebitten manager ever, died on Monday at the age of 79. He is best known in Philly for being the manager of that infamous 1964 team, the team that choked away a 6.5 game lead with two weeks left in the season. That must have been so incredible, a Phillies team leading the division later than May. I can’t really imagine it. Here’s a short article in the City paper defending Mauch. Here’s a copy of an article written in the Inky last year, commemorating the 40th anniversary of the Collapse.

Edge and Moose will be returning to the quizzo scene tonight, as they host quizzo at the Dive at 8:30 p.m.! The Dynamic Duo will be in full effect, dazzling game players as they take over for a vacationing Pedro Mays.

Alright gang, less than a week left to write your letter to Philly mag editor Larry Platt (lplatt@phillymag.com). Remember to send a copy to me (johnny@johnnygoodtiems.com) I have gotten 12 entries, and will let you read a couple of my personal faves, to perhaps give you some inspiration. Because you are going to write this letter yourself, am I right? AM I RIGHT? The first one comes from Rudolph Elway. The second from Liz. And the third is from Anthony. Enjoy.

Continue reading “A few letters received” →

Happy Birthday JC Chasez! The talented N’ Sync performer, who is very talented, turns 29 today! The multi-talented mega-star, who most people have grouped somewhere between the great Jospeh Haydn and Stevie Wonder when it comes to just plain raw talent, has really turned the music world on it’s ear with a type of sound never really heard before-as well as his talent! “I don’t like to throw around terms like ‘muscial genius’ very often,” said Paul McCartney when we spoke with him this morning. “But there’s no denying Chasez his due.” B.B. King doesn’t necessarily agree. “No, JC is a very wonderful, very talented kid. But he’s no Lance Bass. Now there’s a kid who you’re going to be hearing a lot about for a long time to come.” Here is a poor, disillusioned fan who thougth it would be fun to put up a JC Chasez website, but then everybody told her it sucks, so she took it down to spite them! You go, girl. Also, it contains an email address if you would like to be her friend. Here’s a fictional story this same girl wrote about JC’s girlfriend dying called “Close My Eyes”. Unbelievable. It’s probably won some awards. This, people, is why the internet exists.

The letters continue to come in, but in the words of the Pointer Sisters, “I need more, more, more!” (They follow that with the words, “Jump for my love”, but that line is irrelevant to our current mission.) Send a letter to Philly mag’s Larry Platt (lplatt@phillymag.com), complaining about the exclusion of Quizzo in his best of edition. Best letter gets $40 cash. Also, be sure to vote below for your least favorite Philadelphian. I really think it’s a toss up between Ed Wade and John Street, but so far Eskin has several more votes than Wade. Here’s Will Bunch’s list of the 100 people who are screwing up Philly. Finally, be sure to come up with a good title for a golf porn movie starrign Tag Ridings and Jenna Jameson. Best title gets a $15 gift certificate to Good Dog.

A team of investigators who looked into the plane crash in Toronto won at the Good Dog on Thursday, playing as a team called Don’t Kick the Baby in the Crotch. The team concluded that the plane had landed too long down the runway. When asked what evidence supported those findings, they said, “Well, there was this giant plane that ended up in the trees at the end of the runway, so that was our main clue.” The experts added that if the plane had landed in trees at the start of the runway, then it might have meant that the plane had landed too short. They also said that they think the Air France plane was a plane coming from a country in Europe, and that the person at the controls appeared to be “some sort of pilot”.

Dunno if you saw last night’s wild finish between the Phils and the Cubs, but I haven’t seen anyone explain the ruling of the play. With the bases loaded and one out, Pat Burrell struck out, but the catcher dropped the ball. Burrell began running to first. The catcher got the ball, and then threw to third to try to catch runner Jimmy Rollins off the base. Rollins then ran home and beat the throw from third back to home. Some guys at the Black Sheep were yelling that all the catcher had to do was touch home plate for a force out, and I thought so too. After looking in my handy baseball rule book, I found that that is not the case. With first base occupied and less than two outs, the batter is automatically out, and cannot advance to first base. There was no force play on, and Burrell was automatically out. Had there been two outs and Burrell struck out swinging, then yes, there would have been a potential force play at home. Sorry, I know there’s been a lot of baseball stuff lately. But that play was particularly wacky, and they didn’t explain the ruling anywhere that I read about it.