Hey gang, great news. They busted some people in Philly who were dealing, get this, DEADLY MARIJUANA! That’s right, who knows how much tax money was spent on shutting down the perpetrators of this drug that kills, uh, well it doesn’t kill anyone. But it’s deadly because it causes the people who smoke it to, uh, watch Star Wars and eat Ben and Jerry’s.

Continue reading “Your tax dollars at work” →

Iron Maiden’s pissed off at Ozzy Osbourne, because fans and staff at OzzFest threw things at them, then Ozzy’s wife chewed them out on stage. Wha????????? Uh, yeah. You know a heavy metal band is getting old when they start crying about being hit by eggs. Eggs? I mean, didn’t Iggy Pop used to roll thru broken glass? A real heavy metal band would have encouraged more egg throwing, then smashed all of the electronic equipment as well as their instruments, and then set the entire stage on fire while invoking the name of Satan. They would not have responded with a little note on their webpage (click on the press release to the right). A webpage? A real heavy metal band doesn’t communicate to it’s fans through a freaking webpage! A real heavy metal band communicates to it’s fans only through deviant sexual acts and kick-ass power chords.

You guys know that I’m a fan of bad album covers. And there are a lot of them out there. Well, the Sun just released a few more. There are some repeats, but there is enough new material to make it worth it. Also, do you guys think this is for real? What was going on this time last year? I was striking out with hotties in Mexico. George Bush’s plan to destroy the environment recently hit a snag, as several states are thinking about adopting their own laws for greenhouse gases.

There seem to be these rampant rumors that Johnny Goodtimes will be rapping in Sunday’s event. Nothing could be further from the truth. Johnny would never risk his sterling reputation as a gentleman by trying to perform that scandalous form of music. I’m ashamed of you for believing such vile rumors. Today’s Philadelphia Weekly (click there and scroll down) says that all scavenger hunt items need to be in by Thursday. Not anymore. I recently moved that back to Saturday at noon. Also, you can earn eight of the possible ten points simply by buying your tickets in advance. Finally, read more about Johnny (including a secret he’s been loathe to give away until now) on Inky writer Daniel Rubin’s blog.

For more info on Beat the Champs, click here.

One of the highlights of this job is the remarkably random emails I get from time to time. The following correspondance is one of my favorites. I think you might enjoy it too.

Hey Johnny-

If you ever need someone to sing acoustic versions of
Killdozer songs I can hook you up with Killdozer Jr
(acoustic). Killdozer Jr (acoustic)’s resume includes
playing while slightly drunk at open mic night, as
well as in the living room or basement. Although I’m
not sure Killdozer Jr (acoustic) will be available for
Beat the Champs, you may want to keep Killdozer Jr
(acoustic) on your short list of entertainers for
future reference.

Continue reading “Killdozer, Jr.” →

I’ve been on this planet for over 30 years, and I have never seen anything like this. Ever. Ever. I kind of hope I never see anything like it again. Thanks to Chet for sending this link. If you know any ridiculous links that you would like to share with the quizzo community, please send them to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com, or just post them below.

What event of interest happened on August 23, 1305?