Y-100 Revolutionary Army

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100 Point Performance
The Y-100 Revolutionary Army blitzkrieged their opponents at Doc’s on Mondya night. Sadly, they were no match for the G-Unit, who took control of Y-100 and turned it into a rap station. “It wouldn’t have been so humiliating if, during their hostile takeover of the station, somebody in 50’s posse hadn’t popped a cap in my ass,” said John Soltrane (above). “That was entirely uncalled for.”
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What’s the Frequency Kenneth?

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Dan Rather, by far the most entertaining news anchor on tv (“If a frog had sidepockets, it would carry a gun”) is no longer hosting the news. I really can’t understand why more people weren’t watching CBS News. I mean, Brian Williams? Come on! As dull as toast. OK, so with Rather, you weren’t always sure if he were telling the truth, but that was the whole fun of it. He was like this crazed news anchor who said ridiculous things and threw in a little southern flair and what seemed to me to be genuine emotion. The other guys are just robots. I think guys who walk off the set, get beat up at the DNC, and try heroine are much more fascinating in the long run than people who just show up and do a job in a dry, monotonous tone (hello, Tom Brokaw.) Dan Rather was a lot of things, not all of them good, but he wasn’t plastic, like every dime a dozen news anchor you see today (especially here in Philly). I’d rather take the real human being, warts and all. Dan Rather will be missed. As many of you know, Rather was involved in an almost unbelievable amount of strange mix ups and fights. Here’s a collection. And below I have thrown in a few of my favorite Ratherisms.

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Chaney’s Goons Knock out Foes

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John Chaney’s Goons won at Doc’s on Monday night, fighting off a major snowstorm to even make it to the arena. “Three members of the team didn’t make it,” said Lance Butterworth. “We still haven’t recovered their bodies.” In lighter snow related news, the boys of St. Joe’s Prep Lacrosse team created the largest snowball in Pennsylvania history over the weekend. Congratulations, boys!
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