Yo, I’m off to espagnol. Be back this afternoon. Hopefully gonna have a new contest soon. I’ll keep ya updated. In the meantime, let me know what you think about this. Pluto just got a new name: 134340. This is b******! Screw the International Astronomical Union! Liars! And you people wonder why I hate science.
P.S.: If you people had signed my petition, none of this would have happened.
Then I suggest you stab the starter in the leg. It shows the coach how bad you want it.
Man, I’m telling you guys, you gotta make it out to Movie Monday. This past Monday, the movie was Office Space (thus the flair on bartender Marianne, above). We also had our most explosive Wheel of Terrific yet, as one lucky player got to smash a printer with a baseball bat while the song “Die Mother****** Die” played in the background. You just can’t put a price tag on that type of entertainment. Actually, we got bumped for Preston and Steve this Monday (Roadhouse), but we’ll be back on the 25th with the Big Lebowski.
First off, Nike is coming out with a new Pee Wee Herman shoe. I am not kidding. It is grey with a red lip, and has a picture of Pee Wee sitting in a movie theatre on the inside. Furthermore, this is apparently not a joke. Thanks to Dawn for letting me know about this. Next up, Philly got absolutely fileted by comedian Bill Burr on Saturday night. I mean, we’re talking so unsafe for work that you will be immediately fired and have your house confiscated within 12 seconds of pushing play. I’m sending you to D-Mac’s site to see it so that my mom can’t say that I had this vitriolic diatribe on my own site. I mean, it is scathing! Apparently, comedy legend Dom Irrera got booed and left the stage early. Well, Bill Burr is a friend of Dom Irrera, and he ripped the crowd to pieces, calling the city racist, incredibly stupid and says that terrorists will never attack our city because it is so worthless. Well, those were the nicer things he said. For the nastier stuff, checkout the video. My favorite part? F***** Rocky is your f***** hero. The whole pride of your city is built around a guy who doesn’t f***** exist. F***** Joe Frazier is from there, but he’s black, so you can’t f***** use him. So you make a statue for a f***** three foot tall Italian you stupid f***** cheese eatin’ f***** jackasses.
Unquestionably the best team name I got last week was “The number of men I’ve had sex with is…” (See, the joke is that I followed the team name with their score, meaning that by the end of the game I had had sex with like 70 men.) Let’s see if anybody can top that this week.
(Btw, the pic above is of The Kid, my roommate on wedding weekend. He is not one of the 70 men I’ve had sex with, but he’s a great spooner.)
There is a pretty spooky documentary video out that points out a lot of strange inconsistencies about 9/11. It’s a long video, but pretty well done. There are a lot of conspiracy theorists out there, and over 1/3 of Americans believe that the American government had something to do with the attacks. Popular Mechanics does a really good job of refuting a lot of these conspiracies, however. As for me, I’m a born skeptic, and I think that George Bush and Dick Cheney are very bad people, but I don’t think that they are so diabolical as to kill 3,000 Americans so that they could start a war in Iraq. I’m not 100% convinced that they weren’t complicit, but I think that our failure to prevent the attacks had a lot more to do with incompetence than evil. Besides, I think this administration is way too stupid to concoct and pull off a far reaching conspiracy. I mean, we see what a total disaster Iraq is. Do we really think this administration could pull off a masterful snow job like 9/11? Please.
Of course, this isn’t the first time a president has been accused of killing Americans to enter a war. Many people think that FDR provoked the Japanese until they had no choice to attack Pearl Harbor, then sat back and let it happen.
The wedding was a blast, and I hope you guys have fun in Aruba!
One of the funniest films of the last ten years will be airing tonight at the Trocadero (1003 Arch Street). Office Space is one of the few films that has lived up to the hype the last few years, and tonight is gonna be a blast! Ginger, Chip Chantry, and I will hosting the Wheel of Terrific at 7:30 p.m. Whoever wears the most flair gets a free beer.
In what 1992 film would you have found Corey Haim, Corey Fedman, and Nicole Eggert?
A’ight, so I gotta hit the gym, then I got an apointment, then I head out to Jersey, where I’m going to try to find a girl with a sweat suit and enormous hair to be my wedding date. It wouldn’t be my first Jersey girl. I dated one a couple of years ago. Favorite memory? Walking into a coffee shop, then hearing her bellow, “Yo, you’se guys is outta coffee ova heya!” to which I responed, “What are you, Rocky?” She also wore sweat suits. Seriously. It was awesome. Anyways, I am gonna try to post a bit of stuff this afternoon from my hotel. I’m hoping to have an interview with a member of the local roller derby league up this afternoon, so check back then. Their championship game is on Sunday, and should be worth checking out.
