Rough night, rough night

Yeah, so the Big Lebowski was packed last night. Maybe even too packed. The Wheel of Terrific was, well, I dunno. It seemed to me to be one of our funniest yet. There was a game called “This is what happens Larry! This is what happens when you f*** a stranger in the ass!”*** in which the contestant beat the crap out of a toy car with a golf club. We also had three contestants in a row from New Jersey come to the stage, at which point I said, “What, is the Bleu Martini closed on Mondays?” But the crowd was only half into it, and at the end all I heard someone in the crowd utter was, “That was weird.” Come on, I need some of my quizzo peeps to come support the Wheel, because I do think it’s hilarious and I really think you will too. And the best part is, it’s even more hilarious when it fails, because then it’s just me and Chip up on stage acting like idiots. So it’s a win-win situation. Your next chance will be next Monday night for the Monday night football game. A’ight, I’ll be back to talk some Phils in the afternoon.

***Relax, mom, it’s just a line from the movie.

It’s Scamtastic!

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I was watching TV yesterday, and an extremely unusual ad came on, saying that Verizon was lobbying Harrisburg to only provide cable to rich people in Pennsylvania. “Now, this is really strange,” I thought to myself, so I decided to go to the website that was shown on the commercial, keepitlocalpa.com. Sounds kind of grassroots, doesn’t it? The website has a very quaint, non-corporate look to it. (It also has, I kid you not, a photo of an Amish buggy at the top of the page. Apparently Verizon is so cruel that they are going to refuse cable to the Amish!) Well, guess who’s one of the “coalition members” of this little grassroots organization? I’ll give you a hint. It’s a company that currently has a total monopoly on an enormous service here in Philadelphia, and that I suspect would hate to have another cable provider offer prices cheaper than $45 a month. Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark.

Um yeah

So I had a big day planned for today. Gym, pay bills, post winners from Quizzo on website. Big day, big day. Then Trivia Art was like, “Hey ya wanna go to Amada, they have a $12 lunch?” I was like, “Sure, $12 sounds great.” Well, a couple of other friends joined us, and two pitchers of sangria and $150 later, it’s 4:30 p.m., and I’m leaving for the ballgame in an hour and a half. There will be no bills paid, no gym, and no pics from quizzo. But if it’s any consolation, I feel freaking great. Let’s go Phils!

Around the horn

*We just saw that our good friend over at Blinq, Dan Rubin, thinks that Paris Hilton is a genius. In other news, we just lost all respect for one of our favorite bloggers.

*A couple of days ago, Philebrity broke the beatdown offered by Philly’s finest in Old City. Am I the only one who hopes that police start beating down random clubgoers in Old City every weekend?

*Johnny ain’t the only one reviewing local pizza.

*If you haven’t already, read the lively debate about the casinos in the comments section under my Big Bopper interview.

*And finally, I got a text message on my cell phone last night, moments after asking Trivia Art for a favor. Apparently Trivia Art tried to send it to someone else, but accidentally sent it to me: “Just got a text from Goodtimes, ‘Can you tivo Grey’s Anatomy?’ What a chick.”

Weird, wild stuff

*It’s a YouTube video about, uh, You Tube that I found on Liz Spikol’s blog. It is eerily compelling. She also has a couple of videos on her blog where she describes getting shock therapy to relieve her depression.

*Today is the date, in 1827, that Moroni gave Joseph Smith those golden plates that he turned into the Book of Mormon. This led, indirectly, to Johnny Goodtimes partying with Salt Lake City hipsters in a kiddie pool in August of this year.

*And happy birthday, Nicole Richie and Dave Coulier!

The Hunt for a Red October

Just so we’re all on the same page here, here is the Phillies schedule for the remainder of the season. The next four are home, followed by six on the road. We actually have a much better road record than home record, so six straight on the road isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If we go 8-2, we’re in the playoffs. 7-3 should put us either in the playoffs or in a one game playoff against the Dodgers or Padres. We play Florida three times at home (and don’t have to face Dontrelle Willis!), then have a makeup game with Houston at home, where we will have to take on Clemens. Then we have three in Washington against the woeful Senators. And then, finally, three in Florida. The Marlins have kicked our ass in September to knock us out of the playoffs a couple of times, so I’m a little nervous. My goal is 7-3, which means 2-1 against the Fish, beat the Astros, 2-1 against the Senators and 2-1 against the Marlins. If we can’t do that, we don’t deserve to be in the playoffs.