Eagles thoughts

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First of all a great quote. Eagle CB Sheldon Brown, on the pressure on David Akers as he prepared for the game winning field goal with three seconds left: “I know why I didn’t try to be a field-goal kicker, because I would have peed myself.”

BTW, I was at the game, and it was awesome. I had been to two previous Eagles games, the devastating loss to the Giants early in the season when we blew a huge 4th quarter lead and the meaningles Falcons game last week. But they were nothing compared to this. The crowd was out of control, and on its feet for probably half the game. The place was electric. The best chant was when the Giants lined up for a field goal and my entire section started chanting, “Ro-mo! Ro-mo!”

But I’ll have to be honest. Call me a sissy all you want, but I’d still rather be at a Phillies playoff game than an Eagles one. This cult of Eagle-mania is, to be perfectly honest, a little frightening in its intensity. The shouts of “Break his f****** legs!” and “Rip his f****** head off!” throughout the games are a bit much. And the riding the Giants fans non-stop and throwing beers at them and stuff, I dunno. There’s nothing wrong with a needling the opponents’ fans and all, but damn, they paid their money too. Give ’em a second to watch the game without constantly calling them a slew of names, all of which imply that they enjoy the company of other men or have an Oedipal complex. If you got something creative to say, then go for it. Otherwise, just shouting the same words over and over gets a little old. Then again, when I went to a Redskins game a couple of years ago, the fans were just as bad, so it might not just be Eagles fans, but NFL fans in general. I dunno, there jsut seems to be an ugliness to it that I don’t find at other sporting events.

Johnny Goes to the Dentist

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Got a toothache about a week ago and got a dentist appointment for today. When your cheap ass health insurance doesn’t cover much dental work, you go to the ghetto dentist, the one that doesn’t have a computer or detailed “records”, where you hold your own drool sucky thing (drool sucky thing, or DST, is the actual medical term) during the procedure, and where the TV in the waiting room is showing Jerry Springer. Today’s episode sucked. It was, “I’m a lesbian and I’m having a baby.” Booo-ring. That’s so Phil Donahue 1985. I used to watch a lot of Springer in college, but I must have quit at the right time, b/c it really sucks now.

This dentist office only accepts cash, and you have to pay them before they do the procedure. But it was kind of funny, b/c I was already novocained up when they asked for the money. I guess if I hadn’t have had cash on me, they would have just kicked me out, but I would have gotten a free numb mouth out of the deal. I got a cavity filled ($75), and if I don’t feel a toothache over the next week, then I won’t need a root canal. The dentist was actually a pretty funny guy, and I’m not coughing up blood, so I think it went well. If you have cheap ass health insurance and like Jerry Springer, I highly recommend him.

Jackass 2 at the Troc

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We’re back in business tonight at the Trocadero, as Jackass 2 will be playing. The action kicks off at 7:30 p.m. with the worst game show in America besides Deal or No Deal, the Wheel of Terrific, hosted by Chip Chantry and myself. And of course, the ridiculously sexy Marianne will be behind the bar. Hope to see you there!

The Week in Review

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The New Year started with a bit of a whimper. I left Virginia sunsets like the one above to roll into Philly on Sunday, just in time to make it down to the Eagles game. It was fun, though they replaced their starters so it was sort of an exhibition. After the game, I was exhausted (sort of like Britney on New Years), so I headed home and was in bed by 10:30 p.m. I’ve never been that big on New Year’s Eve anyway. I was pumped for the Mummers on New Year’s day, but that was a washout, so I just watched a lot of football instead.

Enough about me, let’s talk about quizzo. We got the New Year started on Tuesday at a surprisingly full O’Neals. January 2nd is usually the slowest day of the year, but you wouldn’t have known it on 3rd and South. Dork Sided cruised into the New Year with an impressive performance, finishing with a 107 and edging Saddam’s Last Dance by a single point..

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Ginger Thursdays on Friday

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Truman Capote once said, “In this profession, it’s a long walk between drinks.” Tis true, as I discovered in the December chill last week.

I knew my night would end up at Grace’s to see my friend behind the tender bar there, but first I decided I would end my three year boycott against Chaucer’s, a neighborhood pub located at 20th and Lombard. It is named for the great writer of the Canterbury tales, Geoffrey Chaucer. Chaucer’s used to be a great place, oozing character with plants aplenty, free drinks for birthday patrons, and enough dollars bills taped to back bar mirror for the bartender, Jack, whose been pouring there for 26 years, “to start a retirement fund.” But when the owner suddenly died and the place was sold to the owner of South Street Souvlaki, things started to change. Treasured employees left, the plants left, and a lot of the people that had been coming there for years left. But last night, I just got over it. Maybe it was Jack (who played Creedence all night and looked like a band member himself), or maybe it was my perfectly poured O’Reilly’s stout. But, alas I will return, and I might even bring my beer club along with me.

Here comes my long walk. ‘Twas spent scratchin’ me noggin’ on what to write about this week. I am actually so indecisive that my roomate bought me one of those Magic Eight Balls that you turn upside down to get a decision on whether or not you should like the boy sitting next to you in math class. It’s been g-r-e-a-t. I just asked the brainy ball if I should go for a run today, “Outlook not so good.” Perfect!

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Cute Little League Story

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As many of you know, I am currently coaching a little league basketball team. Well, we had a tourney following the first half of the season, and before the semis, I told the guys, “If we win the whole tournament, I’ll take you guys out for pizza.” One of the guys chimed in. “And Slurpees?” I told them that yes, also Slurpees. We won the semi-final game. In the finals, the team looked sluggish and tired, and we trailed in the 3rd quarter. I called timeout and the team dragged themselves over to the bench. I didn’t say much. I just looked them in the eyes, and I asked, angrily, “Am I the only one around here who likes pizza?” Their eyes lit up. “I forgot about that!” said one of them. They stormed back out onto the floor, and won with a jump shot with 30 seconds left. We’re going out for pizza on Saturday.

Around the Horn

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-I pulled the completely classless move of sneaking a few Doritos into my mouth last night at Doobie’s while Ginger turned her head in disgust. I would like to apologize to Doobie’s for my act. I promise to buy a burger at your bar soon to make up for my rudeness.

–This is off the freaking chain. You gots to peep this. I’ve watched and listened like 4 times. (SFW)

-I was one of those people who always thought that Supreme Court justices were boring old people who were way too normal. Then I read this on CNN.com. “A doctor was cited as saying that (William) Rehnquist, an associate justice of the Supreme Court at the time, tried to escape the hospital in his pajamas and imagined that the CIA was plotting against him.” The Chief Justice was lurking in the shadows in his PJs (preferbly with a tin foil hat), trying to stop the CIA from carrying out their sinister plot! The Supreme Court rules! No pun intended!

–Historical geography of religion in 90 seconds. This is pretty awesome.

Baby Name Wizard Name Voyager

Here’s a fun little site. It shows you how popular people’s names are now, and how popular they were in the past. In other words, if you type in “Bertha” the graph peaks in like the 1920s and goes down to 0 today, while there were almost no “Madisons” 20 years ago but there are a ton today (Johnny peaked in the late 40s). So type in your name and see when it was “kool”. The best part about it, though, is that it’s called the “Baby Name Wizard NameVoyager”, which is totally sweet. Enjoy!