Happy B-Days to a couple of Philadelphia sports legends, Ron Jaworski and Moses Malone. Also celebrating a birthday today is Prince Felix Yussupov, the man who killed Rasputin. As some of you may know, I am a huge Rasputin fan, and not just because he had an enormous wang. I highly suggest the book, “The Man Who Killed Rasputin.” Quick quiz question: What do Moses Malone and Doug Flutie have in common? (answer below)

I keep hearing about this guy, Reef the Lost Cause, but I never really listened to him until this morning. This is damn impressive. It’s called the Sound of Philadelphia. It’s a touching yet frustrated tribute to the city of Brotherly Love. You’ll dig it. (NSFW)
Related: Reef the Lost Cause on Myspace.

–Happy 77th birthday Pat Robertson! Keep up the good work! You’re a great American! I hope you’re never hit by a train! That would be a tragedy! My favorite Pat Robertson quote? “Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again.” Pat’s really smart! Here’s some more fun Pat quotes!

-Well, here we are, less than two weeks from opening day, and our #1 pitcher just went down with an injury. Fortunately, we have six starters, so Lieber can step back in. We’re going to be just fine. Right? Right!?!? Riiiight?!?!?! Oh, God, no…We’re ruined!!! (cue hysterical sobbing.)

-I don’t usually agree with Lou Dobbs, but he nailed this one: Both sides are acting like idiots in this Gonzales situation.

-If you are or your friends have plenty of plutonium, but no nuclear device with which to make your dreams come true, just start hanging out at local construction sites. You’ll find what you need.

-Vote in the new poll on the right side of the page.

-Here’s a fun Mental Floss quiz about how famous people died. I only scored a 5. Weak. (Thanks Todd for sending this in. If you see any cool stuff on the web that you think I should post, just send it to me at johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com.)

-Penthouse is opening a Lounge and Grille in Philadelphia (Word on the street is that Vanessa Williams is gonna be head chef). Are they gonna have strippers? They say no, but Foobooz isn’t so sure.

-Tired of searching the web but never winning any K-Fed prizes for doing so? Well, it’s time for you to start playing with fire. (Thanks Duff for sending this in.)

–Digging for treasure at the Philadelphia Presidential Mansion. And here’s the best part: Dennis Reidenbach, superintendent of Independence National Historical Park, said the park also plans to have a web-camera trained on the dig so Internet users can monitor the progress. Finally, the ultimate in video entertainment, live shoveling!

The trouble started when Joey Sweeney of Philebrity fame was featured in a Infiniti G “special advertising section”. He was then blasted in the Philadelphia Weekly for “Jumping the Shark”. Of course, Sweeney fired back. This is fun! I feel inspired! Hey, whattya guys say we go to a crappy ass concert of some band that is ironically cool and play hipster bingo. Who’s with me?

Woody Harrelson’s father Charles died in prison on March 15, where he was serving two life sentences for killing a judge. It was while I was talking with a huckster/conspiracy theorist named Sherman last year at Dealey Plaza that I first heard that Harrelson’s father claimed to be involved in the JFK assassination (If you have not already read this interview, I HIGHLY recommend it.) Then I came upon this in Wikipedia:
Harrelson has declared that he was involved in John F. Kennedy’s assassination. Some think he was one of the three tramps photographed after being arrested on November 22, 1963 in a boxcar in the railyard near Dealey Plaza. Harrelson’s arresting officer, Marvin L. Wise, claims that the three men in his custody were released after a few hours of questioning. The other arresting officer, David V. Harkness, testified that there were several individuals removed from the train that day other than the three individuals in the photograph. Dallas Police Department documents presented to the public in 1992 indicate that three transients arrested by Dallas officer W.E. Chambers with no connection to the assassination were jailed for six days for vagrancy, and that one of those men was named John Gedney. There is no proof that Harrelson had any connection with the assassination.

Here’s some more info, including the photograph of the tramps. Also, vote in the new poll (to the right).