Hey, I’m going to hosting a fundraiser tonight for my friends Brie and Bruce’s acting troupe. Here’s the details:
8:00 p.m. — DJ Paddywagon
8:30 — Dan Scholnick (on tabla) and Mike Moss, AKA King of Jeans (on tenor sax)
9:00 — The Guided Tour DUI
10:30 — The War on Drugs

GUIDED TOUR DUI
Mum Puppettheatre
115 Arch Street, Philadelphia
8p.m. doors open
$10 suggested donation
Beer provided by Yards Brewery for a small donation
Free food provided by Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s
________________________

Here’s the description again:

The Guided Tour” — that curious site-specific play on a tourist trolley — was presented in the 2004 and 2006 Live Arts Festivals. “Guided Tour DUI” is a rare experiment between the creators of the show and Project P, a collective of local film enthusiasts. With the help of the P’s, the cast of “Guided” will be performing a reading of the show with a film adaptation of the tour route projected behind them — and sometimes on them. Oh, and we’ll all be drinking the whole time, and so should you.

And! The War on Drugs — one of the coolest indie bands ever and a side project of the famed Capitol Years — will be joining us for our show! (We’re paying them with beer and the magic of theater, but mostly just beer.)

And! DJ Paddywagon will be spinning (vinyl, that is) throughout the night.

And! Dorothy Robinson — Philadelphia Metro Entertainment Editor – will our special guest bartender.

That’s a whole lot for $10.

The Kildare’s in question in Best Of Philly Style was the one in Headhouse Square, not the one in the burbs. It’s on Tuesday nights at 9 p.m. So if anyone wants to check it out and let me know how it is, that would be great. And I was right: Starbucks did win best coffee for the 2nd straight year. I’ll find one of these mags soon and we’ll see what won what.
UPDATE: Just saw their website. I was not in the top 4 quizzos, being passed by Kildare’s, Fado’s, Fergie’s, and New Deck. Kildare’s came away the big winners, with Best Quizzo, Best Bar in the Burbs, and Best Bartender. Philly Style’s write-up of the bar included this classic line: “The authenticity of Kildare’s decor and cuisine might make you feel like you’re somewhere on the Emerald Isle.” Which is especially ironic, considering what Philadelphia Mag wrote a couple of months ago: Kildare’s, however, is “authentic” the same way Epcot Center’s World Showcase is — the spirit, the accoutrements and the cultural touchstones may all be there, but that’s where the authenticity ends. The first three Kildare’s were facsimiles that Magrogan put together through the Irish Pub Company, which is essentially a bar-in-a-box-type factory that helps you, young budding publican, become owner of an authentic Irish pub — outfitting your location with custom-made Irish bric-a-brac, sharing Irish recipes, recommending outsource agencies from which to hire “authentic” Irish staff, even offering naming suggestions. (Add “& Sons” or “& Daughters” for authenticity.) The company was featured in a 2006 Slate.com article called “Ireland’s ‘Crack’ Habit,” which outlined how faux Irish pubs have become huge business in all parts of the world — even Ireland. Magrogan’s last three pubs were built through another Irish pub warehouse company, called Bar None, that’s based in the not-so-­authentic Irish realm of Canada.

Anyways, I’m done whining about this. No seriously. Done. Me. With this…Kildare’s? Are you serio…No, sorry, that was a slip. Kildare’s is fine. It’s kool. And hell, even I’ll admit that PSM got some stuff right. The Roots are a great band, Monk’s has a good beer menu, and McGillan’s has a really good karaoke.

-Fantastic article in today’s Daily News about Little League baseball in Strawberry Mansion. The pic is of me and my team and the trophies you guys helped pay for.

-Is quizzo harder than Jeopardy? This from Dan Gross: Who is Jared Cohen? This Narberth man raked in $27,000 over three nights on “Jeopardy” last week,” but didn’t fare as well playing Quizzo at Manayunk’s Bayou Bar & Grill (4245 Main). Cohen, a 25-year-old private-equity analyst, celebrated his first night of victory there Wednesday, watching the show with 15 friends. The Penn State grad and pals stuck around for the pub quiz afterward, and Cohen’s crew didn’t come close to victory. Bayou owner Joe Abruzzo figures the bar’s game must be harder than “Jeopardy.” But we imagine Cohen’s happier with his TV cash than a free bar tab.

-Good news! This from wikipedia: All-4-One are currently recording their 7th Studio album aptly titled “7” due to be released late spring/early summer.

-OK, so this is kind of weird. Michael Gross and Meredith Baxter played the mom and dad on Family Ties. But did you know they were born on the exact same day? They both turn 60 today. And Happy Birthday to Kip WInger, who turns 46.

–Trivia Art’s latest in the Metro. As for his foot? Well, he’s had a lot of hot girls sign his cast, so it hasn’t been all bad.

–Will Philadelphia’s food Zorro be unmasked? Looks like the owner of Chops could be the Velma to Laban’s Mr. Peters, the caretaker of the old stadium. “And I would have gotten away with it to, if it wasn’t for you steak frites!”

-Apparently there is gonna be a videogame about the show The Office, which is sure to be awful, though the show is great. Die Actor Die host Don Montrey thinks of some other tv shows turned video game failures. The best one I could come up with was Small Wonder vs. Terminator: Android vs. Cyborg. You guys got any good failed Tv shows turned video games.

-And happy birthday Lionel Richie! If anybody can’t find me at the Black Sheep tonight, just look up. I’ll be dancing on the ceiling.

Joey Vento, the owner of Geno’s Cheese Steaks agreed to a debate with a woman with a pretty impressive resume. Tell me this doesn’t look like a blowout. Granted, Vento gets the home field advantage, but this lady probably actually has a few facts at her disposal, as opposed to an ability to talk like a numbskull and make a mediocre sandwich. Hey bub, your inane platitudes might work with Neil Cavuto, but I doubt they are gonna go over so well with Ms. Bernstein-Baker. Man, I wish I wasn’t working that night.

Of course, the delicious ironies surrounding the whole Vento affair have been documented in detail, but I think my favorite is that the sign, “This is America: When Ordering, ‘Speak English'” is written in incorrect English. Who exactly is he quoting when he uses quotes for ‘Speak English’?

A major smack talking storm was started last year when Philly Style Magazine (you can find a picture of them right next to the word “irrelevance” in the dictionary) picked Fado as Best Quizzo in Philadelphia.

So you can imagine the joy I felt when I came across Dan Gross’s column today and saw who Philly Style Mag named Best Quizzo this year: Kildare’s. I am not kidding. The bar that is to Irish pubs as Applebee’s is to fine dining apparently now hosts the best quizzo in Philadelphia. But be forewarned: you’re not allowed in the door without popping your collar. (Please note that while I am dogging on Kildare’s and Philly Style, I am not dogging on the actual Kildare’s quizzo. I have never played it, nor met anyone who has played it, so it might be good. In fact, it gets a great review from myquizzo.com. But it’s in King of Prussia, which last I checked wasn’t Philly. And let’s face it, I’m not writing this because I am really pissed, but because I love dogging on things like Kildare’s and Philly Style Magazine. If Dark Horse John or Pat Hines or Quizmaster Chris had won, I would be offering a hearty congrats, but two faux Irish bars winning it back to back kind of shows you how well PSM and it’s readers “get it”.) I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Starbucks is gonna get best coffee in Philly, just like it did last year. Because after all, nothing says Philly like Starbucks. And nothing says Philly like a faux Irish pub in King of Prussia.
RELATED: Philly Mag isn’t a big fan of Philly Style Mag’s “Best Of” either.

P.S. I hope none of my Little Leaguers reads this, coming as it does less than a week after I gave them a big speech on “good sportsmanship”. Remember kids, do as I say, not as I do.

Hey gang, I was recently interviewed by Daily News Crime Reporter Simone Weichselbaum. Wha??? You’ll have to see for yourself. Here is part one, where she just writes her thoughts, and here is part two, her interview with me. Oh,and she called you guys “yuppies”, which I think is pretty funny.