Around the Horn, Brought to you by the world’s awesomest retirement home

-So I’m reading about Edna Parker, the world’s new oldest woman, because, um, that’s what I do, and I came across this: Parker lives in the same retirement center as Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the world. Sadly, Sandy is not married to Mark Eaton. Anyways, some old Japanese lady died (tragically) and left Edna as the world’s oldest person. USA! USA! USA! USA!

-Here’s Trivia Art’s latest for the Metro.

–Umpires love white pitchers. Man, can you imagine how bad Adam Eaton would be if he was black or Japanese?

-Happy Birthday, Napoleon Bonaparte! And what in the hell happened to your penis? (Word on the street is, Napoleon was no Rasputin, if you catch my drift.)

When Does Tom Brady Start his suspension?

Now that the NFL has decided to become the judge, jury, and executioner of morally deficient players in the NFL, it’s time to ask the question: When does Tom Brady start his suspension? After all, what is morally more reprehensible than a guy leaving his girlfriend immediately upon finding out she is pregnant, being seen with a new girlfriend a few weeks later, and then having friends spread rumors that she got pregnant on purpose to keep him around? Is the NFL really adding “morality police” to its resume in an effort to clean up its game, or is this an excuse to kick out players that don’t fit its image of what they want an NFLer to be, while giving their “Golden Boy” a free pass? And here’s the other question: why weren’t the radio airwaves burning up with people condemning Brady after he behaved in this fashion?

Little Brother

A great underground hip hop group performing manana at Johnny Brenda’s. I saw Little Brother a couple of years ago open for Blackalicious, and they were fantastic. They are a rare commodity in modern rap: a combination of smart and funny, and they actually realize that there are other words besides “Bitches” and “riches” that rhyme. Of course, that type of intelligence is punished by the rap community and BET owner Bob Johnson:
Almost 2 years ago, Little Brother’s video, “Lovin It” was banned from BET due to the program director saying that the song was too intellectual for the station’s 12-19 year old African American female demographic. As a result, the Atlantic recording trio, Little Brother got the cold shoulder from the network for not having dumbed down content, which resulted in their anticipated debut lp, The Minstrel Show not seeing it’s full potential, due to no promotion.
-From Streethop.com

Anyways, Little Brother is playing Wednesday night at Johnny Brenda’s at 9:30 p.m.. I highly recommend attending. Oh, and here’s some pretty hilarious stuff on their Myspace about Mike Tyson’s Punchout being racist.

Question of the week

James Joseph Dresnok is the last living US defector to what country?

Jams (Repped By MC Rove)

Now known as Altria, what was this company known as from 1991-1996 while Rove was consulting them?

Young Old and Restless win at O’Neals

Rove began his political career working for this presidents reelection campaign.

Last weeks winners

Yeah, I’m a day late and a dollar short. My bad. I was just so upset about Karl Rove stepping down yesterday I had a hard time concentrating on work. But hey, here’s my chance to honor the man. So each question under the photos will be about Rove.

Around the Horn, brought to you by the Whisper 2000

-This exchange between Mike Schmidt and Harry the K over the weekend is pretty amazing. “I’ve been beating the hell out of my wife pretty regularly.”

-White House dumps Rove, picks up Ripken. Now we just need to convince Bush to drop Cheney and acquire Eddie Murray.

–Merv Griffin passed away. This gives us a great opportunity to show Kramer taking over the set of the Merv Griffin Show.

–David Lee Roth has rejoined Van Halen, and they are scheduled to appear in Philly on October 1. Oh Man, I hope this also means Roth is gonna be coming out with the movie Crazy From the Heat II: Even Crazier. The odds of Roth and Eddie Van Halen still being on speaking terms come October 1 are roughly 1,000,000,000 to 1.

Upcoming Events

This friday night, I’ll be hosting the final Americana Quizzo at the Constitution Center. Game begins at 6:30 p.m. The rumors you’ve been hearing about me dressing in a colonial costume for this event are patently false.

Saturday night, I’m gonna be doing some comedy at Medusa Lounge (21st Street, between Chestnut and Market). Chip Chantry will be headlining.

Karl Rove

–This is nuts. You’ll see ROve at the 4:09 point.

–Watch the Frontline on him.

–An article abot him in the Guardian.