Around the Horn, Brought to you by the world’s awesomest retirement home

-So I’m reading about Edna Parker, the world’s new oldest woman, because, um, that’s what I do, and I came across this: Parker lives in the same retirement center as Sandy Allen, the tallest woman in the world. Sadly, Sandy is not married to Mark Eaton. Anyways, some old Japanese lady died (tragically) and left Edna as the world’s oldest person. USA! USA! USA! USA!

-Here’s Trivia Art’s latest for the Metro.

Umpires love white pitchers. Man, can you imagine how bad Adam Eaton would be if he was black or Japanese?

-Happy Birthday, Napoleon Bonaparte! And what in the hell happened to your penis? (Word on the street is, Napoleon was no Rasputin, if you catch my drift.)