Around the Horn, brought to you by the Birthday boy!

-I saw a picture of Natalie Portman and I thought she had a log neck, so then I started thinking about the women in Myanmar who wear neck rings. So I looked them up, and it turns out that their necks aren’t elongated at all, because that is impossible. It just pushes their clavicles down.

–Jessica Pressler, who is probably most famous (or infamous) in Philly for the renowned 6th Burrough article, is moving to, where else, Brooklyn. I don’t know what number borough that is, but as a fan of almost all of the stories she’s written (minus one, ahem), I wish her the best of luck.

–This is great: The Dallas Stars dropped the gloves and took a shot at the NBA referee scandal as part of its campaign to sell seats for the 2007-08 season. A billboard near the American Airlines Center, the building the Stars share with the Dallas Mavericks, carries the message: “The only thing we shave is the ice.”

–On the Road was published on this date 50 years ago. I can honestly say that the book heavily influenced my decision to move to Hawaii. Here is the famous NYT review when the book was released.

-Happy 32nd, Rod!

Question of the week

It was 50 years ago today that the governor of Arkansas stood in the doorway of Central High School to try to defy integration. What was his colorful name?

Where’s Baby Hair wins at the Vous

Why is Baltimore’s team called the Ravens?

Young Old and Restless win at O’Neals

Woodrow Wilson, MIchael Bloomberg, Wolf Blitzer, and Spiro Agnew all went to this Maryland Institution of higher learning.

Pics of last weeks winners

Alright, since I’m kicking it in a Panera Bread Company in Maryland, questions under pics of the winners will be about Maryland. Last week, nobody answered “In what movie will you hear the song, Three Little Birds?” The answer was Shark Tales.

Headin’ on back

Yo peeps. I’m kicking it in Salisbury, working on my column. Then I’ll finish the trip to Philly. Pretty good weekend at home, though I extended my “never making out with a bridesmaid at a wedding” streak. It was my step-sisters wedding, and it was a lot of fun. I spent the next day recovering from my hangover (I caught no women, but I caught a pretty good buzz). Labor Day, I just chilled out on my sisters beach, then we had some fresh crabs for dinner (that’s my uncle and my dad emptying the crab pot, above). Then I went to a buddies house and recorded a rap song. It’s dope. Hopefully, you’ll hear it before too long. I’ll post pics of winners as soon as I finish my Metro column.

The Week in Review

-Kick it off on Tuesday at O’Neals, as the Young, the Old and the Restless were able to win for the 3rd time in 5 weeks, taking a 101-97 win over Dick Cancer is No Laughing Matter. Philly Softcore finished 3rd.

-The Sofa Kingdom cruised on Tuesday night, knocking off 2 Pint Minimum and Don’t Laugh, Splinters Cause Infections, 105-81-81.

-Our first upset came on Wednesday, as the Jams (aka Craig and McGreevey: BiPartisanship in Action) fell to Where’s Baby Hair, 95-93. They were missing Jam Captain and Barb, but it was still a pretty stacked Jams team, so it was a big win for Where’s Baby Hair. River of Rocks finished 3rd at a packed Locust Rendezvous.

-A big comeback for the Satan’s Minions, who aced the impossible round to pull off a 106-102 win over Pee Wee Herman’s Head. Perennial powerhouse Duane’s World were Vegas favorites going into the match, but angered a lot of gamblers with a devastating 10th place finish.

-A low scoring slugfest at the Good Dog, where the vacuum created by MAGMA’s break up has yet to be filled. I Can Has Cheeseburger beat the Good Dog staff team, We Got Glasses…What? (above). The staff team, who usually finishes last, thought that wearing glasses would make tem feel smarter and intimidate the other teams. The ploy worked, as they recorded their first ever 2nd place finish.

-And a blowout at the Bards, as the Hurtin Bombs won for the 4thstraight week. One more win and we’ve got a bounty. They beat The Table, the Flash, and the Fonz, 113-97. The Kingdom finished with 96.

Max Headroom takes over

Have you guys heard of Mx Headroom pirating telelvision in the late 80s? This is wild. It interfered with a showing of Dr. Who. The fake Headroom also interfered with a sportscast earlier that day. No-one has ever figured out who did it.

The Donspiracist Returns

This time the Donspiracist talks about a creepy private hangout and secret society that some of the most powerful men on earth belong to. This is good stuff. Enjoy.
What did you do for summer vacation?

Hopefully, you didn’t have to sit through Daddy Day Camp.

But, if you were lucky, you did get to go to camp, just like many of our richest and most influential politicians and businessmen. They congregate for two weeks in July every year at a place called Bohemian Grove, a very large encampment about an hour north of San Francisco. The Grove is owned and run by the Bohemian Club, an organization founded in the middle of the 19th century by men who felt isolated and exiled in the rough American West.

The club has evolved into a meetinghouse of the most powerful men in our society. Every Republican president since Coolidge and most Democrats have been members, as have most upper echelon government officials. The roster of recent members includes both Bushes, Bill Clinton, Reagan, James Baker and Henry Kissinger. Members from other areas of society are prominent as well, including Walter Cronkite.

Continue reading “The Donspiracist Returns” →

Epic CHoke

Season over. Screw the Phillies. The Phillies always blow the businessman special games. Always.
UPDATE: Uh, yeah, scratch that. I’m an idiot. What a win! What a win! Paul Lo Duca sucks! Hahahahahaha! And we own Billy Wagner! Could someone please check on Palestra Jon? I just wanna make sure he doesn’t do anything drastic. Hey Mets fans, enjoy the trip back on the Turnpike tonight! Hope traffic isn’t too bad. Haha, just kidding. I hope traffic sucks.