What 1978 Donny and Marie Osmond movie took place on Hawaii, and was a critical and financial disaster?
Around the horn, brought to you by Orko
-The best opening sentence about a tragic death ever: The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys.
–Paris Hilton wants to be cryogenically frozen. Unfortunately for us, she doesn’t want it to happen until she dies. Won’t it be wild if there is a nuclear fallout in 2134 and it unfreezes the bodies of Ted Williams and Paris Hilton but kills everybody else? That would make for a great reality show.
-Oceania, uh, I mean Philadelphia will be putting up video cameras all over the city to catch criminals. In the city of “Private Eyes” singers Hall and Oates no less. Hmmm, Donspiracist, I think I’m onto something.
-Steve O. is going to be on the radio today between 1-2 p.m., debating Armenian genocide. He’ll be on 1540 a.m., or you can listen here. Steve is apparently AGAINST genocide.
The latest on JGT’s Love Life
-First of all, I tried to meet some ladies by posting an ad on craigslist. There are going to be haters out there who say that I “fudged the facts” a tad, but I think it’s a fairly honest look at myself.
-Secondly, Alycia Lane is single again. Her boyfriend, some New York broadcaster punk sissy, broke up with her because his station told him to, b/c of the whole Rich Eisen bikini flap. Wow, Alycia. You’re single. I’m single. It’s like the stars are lining up for us here. What the heck, let’s go for it! I’m an astronaut!
-Eve, I haven’t forgotten about you, girl. Listen, that thing with Alycia, that’s just a friend thing. She’s coming off a breakup, I’m a shoulder to cry on. That’s all that is. Don’t worry your pretty little eyes. You and me are forever girl. Shake that tambourine!
Who ya rooting for?
Should be an interesting World Series, though I’m kind of torn on who to root for. On the one hand, the AL is a league for sissies due to the DH rule. And has anything gotten as annoying in the past three years as Red Sox Nation? Every frat boy douchebag in America now wears a Red Sox hat backwards to go with his Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. (I bet there are tons of Red Sox “fans” in Manayunk.)
On the other hand, I hate the Rockies for a number of reasons: 1) They wear purple. Pathetic. 2) They are an expansion team. I hate expansion teams, especially since they’ve won 3 of the last 10 World Series going into this one. 3) They are from Denver, and none of those hippies knows a slider from a hot dog. 4) They wear purple. 5) They beat the Phillies.
I guess I’m rooting for the Red Sox. At least they play in Fenway, and it’s hard to hate Manny and Ortiz. And Josh Beckett is a bonified badass. What do you think?
Apologies to Brothers Big
I thought I took you guys photo Thursday night. Did I? It didn’t show up on my camera. If you play this week, I’ll be sure to get a photo.
Garrett Reid is My Jailhouse Bitch Wins at the Vous
This Philadelphia A’s first baseman, who turns 100 today, hit 58 home runs in 1932.
Big Jesus Erection wins at o’neals
This famed Hungarian pianist celebrates his 196th birthday today. He was a child prodigy who lived up to expectations. His masterpiece was “Years of Pilgrimage”.
Pics of last weeks winners
A’ight, I’m gonna post pics of last week’s winners. Under the pics, I’m gonna ask questions about people celebrating a birthday today. You post your answer in the comments section. One guess per person.
Week in Review
A road trip to Canada for an RPS tournament, a new scoring wrinkle, and a quizzo lost to the ethos in a computer crash: It’s time for the week in review.
O’NEALS: The Big Jesus Erection knocked off the Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, 100-95. The Young, the Old and the Restless finished a distant third.
BARDS: For the 4th straight week, it was a 1-2 finish for the Sofa Kingdom and the Dysfunktion, with the Kingdom taking the one spot the last three weeks. They won, 104-90.
LOCUST RENDEZVOUS: A shocker, as Garrett Reid is My Jailhouse Bitch (aka Trust Us We Know) changed their names and their fortunes, knocking off the Jams (aka Here’s to You, Mrs. Oral Roberts) 109-107.
BLACK SHEEP: Palestra Jon’s team, Polyeurethane Wife, took a perfect score into the final round and only missed two in Round Four. But it wasn’t enough, as Duane’s World aced the final round and took home a 114-109 win.
GOOD DOG: Was just getting ready to head out to Good Dog, and decided to print out my latest quizzo. Hit print and, BOOM! the computer crashed, erasing the entire quizzo. You would have highly enjoyed my behavior over the next five minutes as I stormed around my house, screamed at my cats, and contemplated throwing the computer off my roof. I finally settled down and headed to the Good Dog, where the Brothers’ Big scored the only total blowout of the week, a 106-90 win over the Self-Effacing Scurriers.
BARDS: On to a strangely quiet Bards. All the other bars were pretty packed this week, including Bards on Tuesday, but Bards on Thursday was a different story. In the end, it was the Hurtin’ Bombs holding off a pesky Holocaust Deniers: Rittenhouse Square Chapter, 94-89.
SCORING CHANGE: As for the scoring wrinkle, I let teams that were way behind going into the final round get back into it with some Monte Hall type games, giving 10-20 points for various items they might have in their pockets or purse. I only had one complaint, from my favorite complainer, but in the end, none of the teams that got the bonuses got a win. When that happens, I’m sure we’ll have controversy. But I think it’s kind of a fun way to keep teams that are 25-30 points down going into the final round from giving up. Your thoughts?
Around the Horn, brought to you by Larry Dallas
–A guy goes cross country in a car in 31 hours. A cross country trip with no Detroit hookers, no JFK conspiracy theorists, and no 72 once steaks? Not interested.
-Holy cow, this dude puts the “car” in cardboard.
–Greatest reward for a stolen item ever. “The person who returns [it] is obviously the person who stole it, so they don’t deserve any reward!” Name that movie.
-Any “Fish That Saved Pittsburgh” fans out there? If so, you need to see this. Insane.