Scoreboard Brought to You By Lucia’s New Toy

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O’NEALS

  1. Bob Lablaw Law Blog 102
  2. Young, the Old, the Restless 77
  3. Double Guatanamo 76
  4. We Heart Porn 65
  5. I Got Nothin’ 63

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 99
  2. Hurtin Bombs 98
  3. What Happened to that Girl From Small Wonder? 96
  4. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 94
  5. Chin Omelette 88

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. River of Rocks 103
  2. Jams (aka Ike Turner-Rolling on the River Styx) 99
  3. A.S.S. 83
  4. Dave’s Apartment 65
  5. Team Patrino 57

BLACK SHEEP

  1. BBD 108
  2. This Is Not a Bus 99
  3. Baron Munchausen and his Amazing Periodic Table 92
  4. Fine Young Cannibals 81
  5. The Monroe Doctrine 79

GOOD DOG

  1. Guantanamo 72
  2. Axis of Evil Knieval 71
  3. Bring PB & J Back 70
  4. Terms of Endearment vs. Mystic Pizza 52
  5. Nasty Weiners 50

BARDS

  1. *Western Omelette 84
  2. *Sofa Kingdom 84
  3. Hurtin Bombs 81
  4. Thump and Bump 65
  5. Team Fun! 64

*Went to tie breaker question: “In what year was Warren Moon born?” Kingdom guessed 1960, Omelette guessed 1957. The correct answer was 1956. Omelette pulled off the upset.

Apology

I’ve been slacking on my photos of teams lately. The problem is that I lost the thingie that hooks pics into the laptop, then I bought another one and it didn’t work. So I tried to upload the photos onto my Mac but it erased a few of them. Anyways, so now I gotta buy yet another picture connector thingie*, which hopefully I can do manana and get the photos up asap. Thanks for your patience.

*sorry to get all technical on you guys.

Very Late Night

I don’t remember a lot of it. I do remember that it involved cognac, Albuquerque, and Ezra Pound. Anyways, I’m just getting up. Another meltdown from a high profile team at the Good Dog and a thriller at the Bards last night. Socreboard and a new one from the Donspiracist coming soon.

Chip Chantry interviews Fred Thompson!

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Author’s Note: The past two weeks have obviously been a whirlwind for me. Since my interview with Mike Huckabee was posted, The Huck has turned into a juggernaut in the polls- his ratings soaring, his popularity increasing with every hit on johnnygoodtimes.com.

Sure, it was revealed that in 1992, The Huck thought that AIDS patients should be isolated from society… In 1992 I thought that Right Said Fred was going to be the next big thing… we all make mistakes! Irregardless, my article was just the springboard that the Huckabee camp needed.

I would like to say that my piece on Dennis Kucinich had the same effect. However, no one has seen D-Train since he left a Los Angeles nightclub early one morning last week with Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan.

That being said, I was quite disheartened to find that, after a number of attempts, I was unsuccessful in landing an interview with Republican candidate Fred Thompson. His staff declined to arrange an interview, and Fred’s hot wife, Jeri, is quite snippy when you follow her home from her Pilates class.

Needless to say, I was unable to speak with Mr. Thompson. However, not wanting to disappoint my readers, I figured that I would get the next best thing. Knowing that Fred Thompson is, first, an actor, I decided to interview an actor that reminds me of Mr. Thompson, to perhaps get in his head. I found this to be equally challenging. The following actors were either unavailable or unwilling to grant me an interview:

John Voight
Abe Vigoda
Anthony Hopkins
Hal Linden
Anjelica Huston
Kelsey Grammer
Craig T. Nelson

When all hope seemed lost for this week’s column, a miracle occurred. I came across a man who, in this reporter’s opinion, is a carbon copy of Fred Thompson in mind, body and soul.

That man is Conrad Bain, TV’s Mr. Drummond.

Continue reading “Chip Chantry interviews Fred Thompson!”

Updated: OMG! Abe Nunez Did NOT Use Steroids!


UPDATE: Looks like CNBC was wrong about Pujols and Nunez. Those two homers Nunez hit total in the last two years cannot be attributed to illegal steroid use. Still got some big names though. Everybody is linking to the PDF of the report, like I’m gonna read a 409 page document on my computer. The hell with that. I’m gonna wait for the movie to come out. Here’s the full list on Deadspin.

Short Note to Our Friends in Denver

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First of all, a hearty congratulations to Albuquerque on a spirited fight. As for Denver: what in the hell is the matter with you? Your once proud city must be deeply ashamed by your performance on Monday night. 9 teams show, and they average 77 points, a full 32 points behind us? Did your brains get cramped when you ate too much granola earlier that afternoon on your hike up Mount Elway? Did you get lost at your Satanic Nazi airport and not find your way out in time? Or did you just know that Philadelphia was going to kick your boot wearing hippie asses, so you just stayed home and cried into your hemp pillow ? I’ll tell you what: how about next time, we’ll just keep Denver out of the equation and save you guys the embarrassment?
RELATED: Philly rules.

Great News!

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OK, so it’s looking like not one, but two, Pee Wee movies are in the works. And, get this, Johnny Depp is possibly playing Pee Wee! Hmmm, I’m torn. On the one hand, I’d like Paul Reubens to play Pee Wee, but if there is one other actor I think could pull him off, it’s Johnny Depp. Bad news: looks like Tim Burton is too busy to direct it. Who do you think should direct?

RELATED: The Full Story. (Thanks to Duane for sending this in. If you’ve got a scoop that you think I’d like to post on the website, holla atcha boy.)

Nevermind, Things Are Looking Grim

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Rowand’s gone. The San Francisco Giants came in with a 5 year deal, something the Phillies simply couldn’t match. It is an absolute shame to let the guy go, although I really think it is folly to sign him to a five year deal. He’ll be 36 by the time the contract runs out. Pretty old for a center fielder. That being said, this is no bueno. Rowand was a true gamer who laid it all on the line every single game, and the difference in intensity between when he was the leader of that outfield and when Abreu ran it is night and day. The full speed run into the fence is a Philadelphia legend that will improve with time, as when we’re old timers, we’ll tell anyone who will listen that “The Phillies once had a centerfielder who broke every bone above his waist to catch a fly ball.” This leaves the Phils with Shane Victorino in center and Jayson Werth in right. Lots of hustle but no power and no leadership. The Lidge move was nice, but this team will start the upcoming season worse than it ended last year unless they make another big move. And really, what move can they make? I don’t see any exciting free agents.
RELATED: Beerleaguer chimes in.

Things Are Looking Up

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Went and checked out both Houston Hall and the Armory today. Houston Hall is a bit more pleasing aesthetically, though the Armory holds more people. So I need to do the math and see which one makes more sense. We’ve sold out at 300 at the WCL the past three years, so a part of me wants to see if we can get 400. Houston Hall will probably hold right around 300. I need to send proposals to both and see which one works out. I think we’re probably looking at an early March kickoff either way. Houston Hall only has an opening for March 8. I think that is Penn’s spring break. Is that gonna cost us a lot of people? I know we have a decent amount of Penn profs, but I dunno if they really go anywhere for Spring Break, and we don’t really have that many Penn students. Anyways, things are looking up. Hopefully we’ll have a venue by Christmas.