The Dilly on Pirate Quizzo

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  • WHO: Me and You.
  • WHAT: Pirate Quizzo, which will be very loosely based on pirates.
  • WHEN: Saturday, July 26th 8 PM
  • WHERE: Franklin Institute, 20th and Ben Franklin Parkway
  • WHY: Why not? They are promoting their Pirate exhibit, which looks pretty awesome.

Other details: Yes, I will be hosting. The winning team gets free admission to pirate exhibit. Yes, there will be a cash bar.
WARNING: There has been talk of real pirates accessing the event and disrupting quizzo. Security is especially tight to try to keep pirates out, but we can’t guarantee anything. I would suggest keeping your gold bullion at home or inside your wooden leg. For more details, click here.

Scoreboard, brought to you by Blackbeard

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O’NEALS

  1. Jeremy’s Fingers 101
  2. Young Old and Restless 100
  3. Dorksided 99
  4. We Got Nothin 94
  5. I Had Your Moms Cell # 88

BARDS

  1. Hurtin Bombs 108**
  2. Sofa Kingdom 108
  3. Puerto Rico Bound 101
  4. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 100
  5. Tuesday Night Brights 92

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 108
  2. Trust Us We Know 93
  3. But My Mom Says I’m Cool 90
  4. Mendte’s Email Maniacs 89
  5. Susan’s Peters 81

BLACK SHEEP

  1. John Brown’s Booty 101
  2. Duane’s World 94
  3. 5th Placers 92
  4. Stop, Or My Mom Will Die 86
  5. Sparkling Celebration Drinkers 83

GOOD DOG

  1. Pseudoscientologists 81
  2. Home Despot 67
  3. The Master Batters 59
  4. Underachievers 54
  5. Awesome Blossom 52

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 100
  2. Hurtin Bombs 95
  3. Quackenbush 90
  4. We Buy S*** in Bulk 70
  5. Beauty & the Beasts 65

**won in overtime

Aliens Among Us

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Former astronaut and moonwalker Dr. Edgar Mitchell claims that aliens have been visiting us on earth, and that they are much more sophisticated than us. “I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes – we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it’s been happening quite a bit.” He’s right, by the way. I’ve dated a couple of them.

Philly Mag Blows off Quizzo Again in Best Of Edition

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A writer from Philly Mag called me a few weeks ago, told me I had won Best Of…Quizzo, and asked me a few questions to include in the publication. No kidding. So needless to say, I was a bit surprised when the latest issue carried no mention of quizzo. Seems pretty strange for someone to be told that they won, then getting zeroed. Being a conspiracy buff, I wonder if this had anything to do with me having my trophy taken away. And if they indeed took away the prize because of that, all I can say is: I didn’t mean it, Philly Mag! Promise! I hate this city too! Please, I need this! Things are bad! I had to cancel at Good Dog two weeks ago! For the love of God, please give me my trophy back! Pleeease!

Pirates Expected to Attend Quizzo: Murder and Pillaging Probable

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Word on the streets is that there will be pirates at Saturday nights quizzo at the Franklin Institute. While I know that this is worrisome to some people, as pirates are known to maim and kill innocent people for sport, JGT’s Security of the First World detail is doing everything they can to keep the event safe. “Are we concerned about the possibility of pirates?” asked Goodtimes at a recent news conference. “Absolutely. But I guarantee everyone attending that they will probably be safe. Maybe.” More on this frightening development as it develops.

Toughest Questions from last week

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  1. You’ll find a hapless protagonist named Arthur Dent in this science fiction comedy series.
  2. Asia Minor comprises most of what modern country?
  3. William Zabka played a jerk in European Vacation, Back to School, and in this 1984 classic.
  4. What team did the Adam Eaton come to the Phillies from?
  5. The most watched soap opera in the world debuted in 1987 and is the only one in the US that lasts only 30 minutes.
  6. This country owns the island of Aruba and has a Queen named Beatrix?
  7. What 1989 film is based on the story of a principle named Joe Clark?
  8. What Washington monument is on the back of a $50 bill?
  9. Which of these continent has the tallest mountain (above sea level)?
    a) South America b) North America c) Europe d) Africa
  10. What is the first disease for which an effective vaccine was discovered?

Continue reading “Toughest Questions from last week” →

So Sweet

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Wow, what an incredible 9th inning. After wrapping up quizzo last night, I was preparing to head over to the Bards, but decided I’d watch the Phils go down quietly in the 9th. However, Mets manager Jerry Manuel inexplicably pulled Johan Santana after only 105 pitches, and the Mets bullpen looked like, well, the Mets bullpen. And then, Jimy Williams decided for some reason to use So Taguchi. The conversation at O’Neals went like this:

JGT: Best case scenario here is Taguchi striking out. They can’t take a double play.
O’Neals Patron: Why aren’t they hitting Bruntlett?
JGT: They never lose without a rally in the 9th. Never.
All: Holy ****** ****! Get over his head! Get over his head! Yes! Yes! Yes!

The entire bar erupted with high fives all around. It was an awesome win, and allowed us to forget for a few moments that our rotation consists of Cole Hamels and pray for rain.