So the Bowling party went well

Yeah, after a particularly devastating loss, I drowned my sorrows with an inverted keg stand which, in hindsight, wasn’t an extremely brilliant idea. But I did last full 12 seconds. Not bad for an old veteran. I’ll have more about bowling in the Metro on Thursday.

The bowling party, by the way, was a remarkable success, as long as you don’t judge it by my success on the lanes. I quit angrily in the 8th frame of the first game, and only bowled a 103 in game #2. Nonetheless, I definitely think that there needs to be another bowling party in the near future.

Real Quick

Gotta get to work on my Metro piece, but I got a lot to write about here, too. So check back this afternoon. In the meantime, a couple of quick bits:

-Here’s a funny sign Quizmaster Chris has noticed in the subway.

-Here’s a write up the Washington Post had up for City vs. City Smackdown.

-Philly came in 9th in road rage in the latest poll. We would have come in first, but our bullpen keeps accidentally giving the thumbs up instead of the bird.

-Oh, if the teams playing tonight have any hope of knocking off Philly, they better BRING IT. ‘Cause the Illa represented last night. Big time.

Vote for Diane Thompson!

Diane Thompson is running for Municipal Court Judge. She was a member of former quizzo squad Team Hater, so I knew she was good people. I asked her a few questions about the position and why she’s running:
1. What exactly are the duties of a municipal court judge?
Municipal Court, criminal division, is the court of original jurisdiction for nearly all preliminary hearings for felonies and homicides (cases involving juvenile victims are heard in juvenile court by Common Pleas judges.) MC judges hold trials for all misdemeanor criminal cases (crimes with punishments up to 5 years in jail, such as simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment, retail theft, dui, etc.) They also hear private criminal complaints. Civil division judges hear landlord – tenant cases, tax appeal cases, small claims up to $10,000, real estate tax cases, etc. MC judges work at the Criminal Justice Center at 1301 Filbert Street, at Municipal Court at 34 S. 11th Street, or at the individual police districts, such as 55th & Pine or Broad and Champlost.

2. Why are you interested in the position?
I like helping people. Many people who appear in Muncipal Court have no attorneys. (Defendants are appointed attorneys in criminal court, however.) Litigants want judges who know how to listen to their cases. I know how to listen. I believe that I have some ideas to alleviate the back log of cases. I would like to initiate more programs in MC court that would help with the non-violent drug crimes. Also, domestic violence cases are a big part of MC court. I have represented both victims and defendants in domestic violence cases and I believe that intervention is key to preventing more violence.

Continue reading “Vote for Diane Thompson!” →

Jams Win

Denverites were outraged when the new MIle High Stadium was given this name?

Baseball, Pizza, and Sex Toys

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Ginger, Darren from Devil’s Alley and I headed over to Camden on Thursday morning. But things got weird before I got more than a block from my house when I saw, lying in the middle of 19th and Bainbridge, a sexual aid, as it were (mildly disturbing picture after the jump). Things got even weirder when we hopped off the red line in Camden. The red line has cards which you have to put in the turnstiles to get you through. I put mine in, but I couldn’t get through. I tried time and time again to no avail. Finally I hopped the turnstile. That’s when the voice of God came through a nearby drive thru speaker. “Hey you, in the white shirt, you need to go to City Hall and turn yourself in.” The voice of God (which was female by the way) was asking me to make a citizen’s arrest of myself. It was then that I realized that it wasn’t the voice of God but that I had been caught on a surveillance cam (above) hopping the turnstile and that the voice of God was a woman who spends her day watching the monitor, waiting for creeps like me to break the law. The woman then called a nearby phone. I pleaded my case, and was given my freedom. Once that was settled, it was on to the game.

Continue reading “Baseball, Pizza, and Sex Toys” →

Bill Moyers kicks ass

Dunno if you caught it, but a few weeks ago Bill Moyers absolutely crushed the mainstream media and the pathetic job it did leading up to the War in Iraq. No tough questions for Bush, no coverage of huge antiwar demostrations, and sheer laziness abounded in the lead up to the war. This wasn’t surprising from the TV news, since explosions make for great ratings, and we’ve long since established that they are not in the “news business” but in the “ratings business”. But the Washington Post and New York Times also dropped the ball. The beauty of being in the media is that they can constantly attack Bush and friends for what they did before the war without having to judge their own performance leading up to the war. Anyways, I highly encourage you to take the time to watch this. Just click here and then click watch video. This is the best thing I’ve seen on TV in a while.

Yeah, it was fun

Darren from Devil’s Alley, Ginger and I all had a damn fine day at the ballpark. Got a couple of funny stories to share, but will have to wait till manana so I can come up with these questions for tonight.

As for City vs. City Smackdown, tonight is the last night to earn an automatic invite. You gotta win at Good Dog or Bards. Here are the teams that are in for Smackdown so far:
Young Old and Restles
Satan’s MIinions
MAGMA
Sofa Kingdom
Top team from Rembrandt’s
Jams
Champs
Steve O.’s team
Team that won Tuesday at O’Neals

And a couple of question marks:
Trivia Art’s team
River of Rocks
Trust Us We Know
The Team that Aways Changes it’s Name
Dork Sided

The Narkotyzing Dysfunktion is the only team that has declined their invite. Speaking of them, I do still have some tix for sale for the $10 all you can bowl all you can drink bowling party that a few of their members are putting on tommorrow night. See me at quizzo tonight if ou wanna buy tix.

Darth Ern Gives his two cents on Primaries

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Part 1 – Rankings
1. Dwight Evans-No one has said a bad thing about Evans (Maybe because he’s so far down in the Polls) but I find nothing objectionable about him.
2. Tom Knox – I know. I know. Backstabber! Nasty! Worst dye job in the History of Mankind. He’s not the second best candidate. He’s (alas) the fourth least objectionable.
3. Tie Bob Brady & Chaka Fattah-One says he will. The other ain’t saying. But they’ll both raise taxes. Brady to pay for patronage; Fattah to pay for votes.
5. Last and least-Michael Nutter. The Drive-By Media endorsed him. STRKE ONE! The Business Killing Smoking Ban.
STRIKE TWO! He’ll raise Taxes too. These people can’t help themselves. STRIKE THREE! You’re Out!

Part 2 – Handicapping
The Socialists will vote for Nutter.
The Unions will vote for Brady
The others:
Whites – Knox
Blacks – Fattah and Evans

Part 3 – Prediction
18% to 24% of living voters will vote.
100% of dead voters will vote.
Brady’s in charge of the Vote Counters Hence he’ll get all the dead votes ergo he will win the Primary!

Part 4 – Other
The four Republicans still living in Philly will vote for What’s-His-Face AKA The Other Guy

I never thought I’d say this, but: Bring Back Ed Wade!!!

Food for thought: Utley, Howard, Rollins, Hamels, and Myers are all Wade guys. Ryan Franklin, Rod Barajas, Adam Eaton, and Arthur Rhodes are all Pat Gillick guys. Oh, and Gillick traded Bobby Abreu for Matt Smith and a bag of baseballs. That one is working out well.

And I hate to complain after a win but the intricacies of the double switch once again confounded bonehead Charlie. Brett Myers batted 2nd in the 9th inning (when the game was still 6-3). That being said, I am more than happy to have the starters go 7 every game and Myers pitch the last two. Screw the middle relievers. Seriously, Myers has a strong arm.. Let him pitch the final two innings of every close game.

Quick notes

-Slight correction: I know I said that the winner of city vs. city smackdown would get $950. Actually, I forgot we’re giving away $150 prize for 2nd. Winner can win $800. Still not a bad day at the races.

-A couple of people are heading with me to ballpark tomorrow, including the lovely Ginger. The Riversharks are currently 3-1. That’s right, this is your chance to see a local team above .500!!! Weather forecast is 80 degrees with a slight breeze,and the stadium is widely considered one of the best in minor league baseball. Just call out of work and watch some 11 a.m. baseball. Don’t be a jerk. Holla at me if you wanna go.

-I do have tix on sale for the bowling party. They are going quick. I think this thing is gonna sell out before Friday, b/c you couldn’t get into an all you can drink bowling party with 2 DJs for $10 in the midst of the Great Depression. Anyway, you can buy your tix from me at quizzo or get them here.

–Alcohol makes your brain smaller, which makes quizzo kind of ironic. Let’s shrink our brains tonight!