Darth Ern Gives his two cents on Primaries

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Part 1 – Rankings
1. Dwight Evans-No one has said a bad thing about Evans (Maybe because he’s so far down in the Polls) but I find nothing objectionable about him.
2. Tom Knox – I know. I know. Backstabber! Nasty! Worst dye job in the History of Mankind. He’s not the second best candidate. He’s (alas) the fourth least objectionable.
3. Tie Bob Brady & Chaka Fattah-One says he will. The other ain’t saying. But they’ll both raise taxes. Brady to pay for patronage; Fattah to pay for votes.
5. Last and least-Michael Nutter. The Drive-By Media endorsed him. STRKE ONE! The Business Killing Smoking Ban.
STRIKE TWO! He’ll raise Taxes too. These people can’t help themselves. STRIKE THREE! You’re Out!

Part 2 – Handicapping
The Socialists will vote for Nutter.
The Unions will vote for Brady
The others:
Whites – Knox
Blacks – Fattah and Evans

Part 3 – Prediction
18% to 24% of living voters will vote.
100% of dead voters will vote.
Brady’s in charge of the Vote Counters Hence he’ll get all the dead votes ergo he will win the Primary!

Part 4 – Other
The four Republicans still living in Philly will vote for What’s-His-Face AKA The Other Guy