Why listen to a bunch of pinheaded nitwits talk about politics when you can listen to a pinheaded nitwit ask you trivia questions about politics? And not just politics. Tonight’s quiz will be inspired by the election, but there are only a few Presidents questions. This is actually a really, really fun quiz. You’re gonna dig it.

We start with a bounty on Mr. Mapother at O’Neals at 8 p.m. $25 bonus (Plus $50 gift cert) if you can knock off the Mapother. On to City Tap House at 10:15 p.m. The winner walks with a $100 gift cert, and yes all of the TVs will be on so you can watch election returns. So come on out and let’s watch this election together, and then either celebrate, mourn, or most likely, wonder when the Supreme Court will break the tie.

Back in action at the North Star this week, with concert tickets and beers to give away. Action starts at 7 p.m. On to Sidecar at 9:15 p.m. I’d expect quite a few Presidential questions on the Monday-Tuesday quiz. Hope to see ya tonight!

Here’s my latest, an interview with Chip Chantry and Doogie Horner about joking about disasters.

This is not my writing, but a hilarious piece on Gawker about the new T-Shirt cannon they’ve got at Sixers games this year.

And here’s an oldie but goodie: the Halloween game of Snap-Dragon, which includes children putting their hands in fire. Ah, the good old days.

Kick it off at Ugly American at 8 p.m. $3 Fries and $2 Lagers. Also, a great chance to win, as we have some really good teams, but no premiere teams. On to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. where we have a $50 Bounty on the head of the Steak Em UP crew that HASN’T LOST IN OVER A YEAR. Yes, they have a taken a few weeks off here and there, so they haven’t won every quiz in the past year. But every time they’ve played since they lost to Philliez Nutz in October of 2011, they’ve won. This is ridiculous, people. RIDICULOUS. Can you please bring some smart people to play on your team? Not only will you win $50 bonus, you will be INSTANT NERD LEGENDS! Does it get any better than that? Yes, probably it does. But that’s still pretty good.

It is a hard quiz tonight. A very tough final round. I’ve found that Steak Em Up does better in high scoring shootouts than low scoring affairs, and I expect tonight to be a low-scoring affair. So get your heads right. Study scary things (questions will be Halloween related). Win this damn game!

JGTAI NEWS: You have until 5 p.m. today to earn points with the Jack O’Lantern physical challenge.

All new, all Halloween questions tonight at Locust Rendezvous and Black Sheep. At the Vous, $3 Leinekugel Sunset Wheat Pints and $2 Burger Lights cans. (Burger Light?) On to the Black Sheep at 8 p.m. I’ll have Halloween candy, and all questions will be based on Halloween: serial killers, slasher films, Halloween history, etc. See ya tonight!

My kickball team had a game on Sunday, and the opposing pitcher was Gumby. Gumby had some problems with control, and when I called him out on it, he went nuts and charged me. Unfortunately Gumby doesn’t have great balance. (Language unsuitable for work).

It is a Halloween or High Water quiz tonight, as all questions will be Halloween and hurricane related. Action starts at O’Neals at 8 p.m. We then move to City Tap House at 10:15 p.m. See ya tonight!

I take my job as quizzo host (somewhat) seriously. Yes, it is a ridiculous job, but it’s my job, and I think being the best in my field is important to me. Therefore, I stay sober throughout all of my quizzes, because I am a professional. However, once winds reach hurricane level I lose all pretentions of professionalism and begin drinking heavily. Yeah I’ll ask you some trivia questions tonight, but don’t expect me to be particularly sober.

Also, please do NOT come to quizzo tonight unless you live in the Graduate Hospital area. Things on the roads are going to be insane tonight. DO NOT DRIVE TONIGHT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I really, really appreciate the dedication of you nerds to my quiz. It’s awesome. But tonight’s not the night to prove what a geek you are unless you live within walking distance of Sidecar.

The only reason I agreed to do this is because I know there are a lot of people like me who turn into Jack in The Shining if they get cooped up inside too long, and since Sidecar is in my neighborhood, I can walk there. Quizzo at North Star is cancelled. So if you are in G-Ho, come hang out. If not, you can still get your quizzo fix. Here’s a ton of questions from past quizzes to help you pass the time until the electricity goes out and chaos descends upon the land. Oh, and all questions will be hurricane or Halloween related.

Tonight’s quiz at North Star has been cancelled. As of right now, we are still on at Sidecar. If we lose power, needless to say, it will be cancelled. Also, do not drive to get to Sidecar quizzo! Seriously, we’re doing it for the folks in the neighborhood who wanna come out for a beer and a few questions. The streets will just be too crazy by tonight to be driving around. I’ll keep ya updated as the day progresses.

If you think political mudslinging is bad now, you should have been around in the 1820s.