Looks like an intern is in charge of front page headlines at Yahoo. (Philadelphiawilldo) My take on this Anna Nicole Smith thing: Only in America would we honor a person’s life not because they were a good or talented or charismatic person, but simply because they had enormous boobs. I mean, honestly, she milked an old man for his money, she was a dismal failure as an actress, and she was a drug addict who constantly humiliated herself on television. Why did we love her, as CNN.com asked? Because we love a train wreck and we love giant hooters, and she brought those two things together like no-one ever did before. I feel sorry for her family and friends, and it is always sad when someone young dies, but I wish the media would quit acting like this was freaking Princess Di or even Marilyn Monroe. Click below to read Obit master Andy Nolan’s tribute to Anna Nicole:

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Yes, I know that this happened a week ago, but I just haven’t had time til now to post something about the end of the Five Spot. When I first moved to Philly, I found a flyer on the ground on South Street that said that Dice Raw was hosting an open mic hip hop on Sunday nights at the Five Spot. I went, and was extremely nervous. But I got on the mic and actually did pretty well. I started going semi-regularly. Then, one night, Eve was in there. I did my stuff, and later the bassist for the house band came over and said, “Yo, Eve said that white boy is nice.” I have been flying high off of that for about 5 years now. So so long, Five Spot. And thank you. Because without you Eve and I would have never gotten to know each other and subsequently fall in love. We both want to thank you, right honey? Eve says yes. She’s here with me now and we are very much in love.

Alright, I finally got the 411 on the auction yesterday. It was a silent auction, so I had to leave before I saw how much I was worth. The winning bid to go bowling with me was $50, which ain’t great, but could have been worse. Here’s the funny part: I saw a couple of cute girls who were up for bid, and their prices were pretty low. So I figured I’d bump their values up a few bucks. I mean, hey, it’s for charity, right? There was another hour left in the bidding when I left, so I was sure I’d get outbid on both. I didn’t. I don’t know what was up with the other dudes at the party, but somehow I won both. So yeah, I got three freaking dates out of this thing. I sort of know the one girl who bid on me, but I’ve never seen the other two in my life, so I think these will be my first ever blind dates. I’m going to a Flyers game on Saturday, I think, then I’m going to some play in a few weeks. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.
RELATED: Johnny auctioned off for charity.

Just got back from WIlmington where I watched the Super Bowl with my family. Am starting on the final story for QB3. Will have it up by tommorrow morning. (also gotta work on tonight’s Wheel of Terrific, so if I don’t get it up this afternoon, it’ll most def be up manana morning). Gonna recount all the scores to make sure we got ’em right and then post final standings tommorrow.

The pic above is a pretty wild one of the now infamous “Dumping of the tickets”, when the dancer was supposed to dump glitter on me and accidentally dumped out all of the raffle tickets on me instead. I had my eyes closed when it happened, and when the tickets hit my face, I was like, “That is big glitter.” It wasn’t until after I was done dancing that my simple mind finally realized what had happened. At the afterparty, somebody said, “You know that you’re going to need to make the dumping of the ticekts an annual part of Quizzo Bowl, don’t you? That was amazing.” And so, a tradition is born.

As for the Super Bowl, I still can’t decide what was worse: the commercials, the announcers, or Rex Grossman. I really didn’t laugh at any of the commercials, Grossman shoulda been pulled after the first interception, and Phil Simms is the stupidest man alive in America. In a night marked by incredibly worthelss “insight”, his best remark came when one of the cameramen got plowed over by a receiver. He said, honestly, “You can’t get scared down there, you can’t get cabin fever.” Yes, that is correct, Phil. You can’t get cabin fever down there. SInce cabin fever occurs when you are alone, indoors, and in the midst of freezing weather, it is extremely hard to catch when you are surrounded by 80,000 people, you are outdoors, and you are in Miami.

I know a lot of you beautiful women out there are thinking to yourselves, “There is no way in hell I am putting up a bid for a date with Johnny Freaking Goodtimes.” But ladies, please try to remember, this…it’s for the children. Wu-Tang is for the children. The fundraiser for Urban Blazers starts at 6:00 p.m. tonight at the Irish Pub (1123 Walnut). I prayed to the baby Jesus last night that at least one person bid on a date with me, b/c if I get zero bids I am going to cancel Quizzo Bowl and just stay in my room and cry all weekend. So there, ladies, you have to bid on me, or Quizzo Bowl is cancelled!

And I am hoping to make an appearance there, but I will still be at quizzo tonight, though I may be a little late.

Yeah, I’m kind of late getting it going today. I’ll be back shortly. In the meantime, see what Trivia Art is dishing out over at Foobooz.

We’ve all heard this sentiment expressed dozens of times before: “Johnny Goodtimes? Please girl, I wouldn’t date him unless it was for charity.” Well, guess what, ladies (and Apolo Ohno), now it is! That’s right, the Urban Blazers, an organization we raised money for last year , is having a fundraiser auction this Thursday at the Irish Pub (1123 Walnut), and you can bid on a date with me (or you can bid on other people, and yes guys, there will be dates with females being auctioned off as well). It’ll be a Happy Hour from 6-9 with drink specials and free appetizers. They are asking for a $10 donation at the door, with all proceeds going to the charity. Finally, a chance to go out with a guy like me and not feel terrible about yourself in the morning!

Yo peeps, gotta do a photo shoot for the City Paper, so I’m not gonna have time right now for Week in Review. Will get to work on it asap. Thanks for your patience. In the meantime, a quick reminder: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest , one of the greatest films of all time, will be playing Monday, and I will be celebrating my B-Day then, so I want you guys to show up. It’s gonna be fun.

Going to meet with a friend about other burlesque acts for Quizzo Bowl. In the meantime, I want u to be in charge of the site and let me know what is the best city in the USA. We already discussed worst city, now let’s move to best. To be honest, I think Philly is number one. If there was one I liked better, I would probably live there. We’ve got all four sports, great food, great nightlife, a little bit of attitude, and it is affordable to live here. I’m a big fan of San Fran, and I gotta admit it, I like Chicago. As far as smaller cities go, I am a big fan of Richmond, but part of that is probably sentimental (I have a lot of family there) and Portland, Maine (super friendly people, good cozy food).

Johnny’s co-host, Chip Chantry, and WOT regular Pat House both made Philadelphia Weekly’s “10 Comedians who don’t suck” list. Congrats to both of these funny men who are both, unfortunately, bad human beings (Pat was arrested for kicking a panda at the zoo in 2004, and Chip once played a prank on a passed out roommate by injecting him with leprosy.)
Chip Chantry on MySpace.
Pat House on MySpace.