Here’s acollection of some of the worst baseball cards ever. Thanks to Chip for sending this in. Here’s some more good ones I found while cruising the web this morning. In the really, really stupid department, a news story about a cookbook based on Leonardo da Vinci’s “Golden Ratio” a mathematical value that was used to build the pyramids and has since been found to exist most everywhere in nature. Thanks to Tessa for sending this in. I’m thinking about writing a cookbook based on the Pythagorean theorem. Actually, I just said that so I can once again offer one of my favorite quotes ever, proffered by the Big Socrates himself, Shaq: “My game is like the Pythagorean theorem. Nobody can figure it out.”

People are starting to worry about Goodtimes, as he went to Oktoberfest yesterday, and got housed by German beer. He was drinking water by 9:30 p.m. “Germans aren’t the brightest,” said Goodtimes. “They spelled October wrong, and they held the freaking thing in September. Duh.” Then he went to that found thing at Fergies. It was pretty funny. Also just randomly happened to be sharing a table with one of his favorite bloggers in Philly, D-Mac of philadelphiawilldo.com.

Are you kidding me?!! Are you f****** kidding me?!! David Bell??!! David F****** Bell??!! I was so wrong about you!!! All hail David Bell!! Hurrah!!! Hurrah!!!

Great job by Frank Fitzpatrick in today’s Inquirer summing up what I was trying to say so clumsily last weekend on WIP.

Hey people, I’m having a sidewalk sale tommorrow, starting at 10 am. There’s a big one going on like a block over, so i figured i’d go leech-style and have one, too. gonna be cooking hot dogs and hamburgers too, so swing by, if only to grab a burger and play it kool. and yeah, the tv’ll be outside, so we can watch some football. the crib is located at 723 South 19th Street (between bainbridge and fitzwater). we’ll be kicking it from like 10-4.

I got word from a pretty good source that Starbucks was handing out coupons out in front of La Colombe earlier. Anybody that passes up La Colombe for that garbage is a moron. One of the things I love about this city the most is that the people really don’t want to see Starbucks and Olive Gardens all over the place. I heartily encourage you not to support chains that are focused on destroying local business (especially when the chain’s product isn’t really that impressive). Then again, my feelings aren’t as pronounced as this guy’s. He really hates Starbucks.

If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here.

The discussion veered to boxing, with Bernard making a few colorful statements (“They should have prepared for me like the Italians should have prepared for Hannibal.”) He was referring to the boxing establishment, insinuating that they gave many other less educated fighters money, jewels, and cars when they are young, because they knew that such things were going to come back to them when the fighters screw up later, like with Mike Tyson and Sweetpea Whitaker. He was saying that the establishment didn’t give him those things, that he had to earn them over an extended period of time, and by the time he had accumulated them, he was smart enough to hold onto them. He works as his own agent, by the way, and is one of the few boxers that own their own rights. So if he appears in an endorsement, or if he appears on tv, the money goes to him, not to an agent.

Continue reading “The Executioner’s Tale, Volume 2” →

A room full of us at the Black Sheep peered through our fingers as the JetBlue plane landed at LA yesterday with the messed up front tires. We weren’t the only ones watching-they were showing the whole thing on television in the plane! In an effort to spread panic and fear throughout the cabin, apparently, it was decided to show the people who were about to land their fates on TV. Unbelievable. Next time something like that happens, I think they should have the co-pilot dress up like the Grim Reaper and walk thru the cabin. That’s really the only way I can think of to make it more horrifying than showing the freaking thing on TV.

Hey guys, I wrote an article that appears in today’s City Paper. I went to Amityville, PA a few weeks ago to watch the World Quoits Championship, and had a really good time. The photo above is of the Conrad brothers, who are featured in the story. The picture below is of Randy and Michelle, the husband-wife team that was playing.

They met on South Street, their first date was on South Street, so it was only appropriate that he ask her to marry her on (ok, so near) South Street. Brian Garber asked Meghan Fitzgerald, his girlfriend of 4 years, to marry him at O’Neals on Tuesday-via quizzo answers! That’s right. Brian and I had arranged beforehand for the answers to the questions in round 1 to form THE QUESTION. The questions were as follows:

1. During the opening number in The Nightmare Before CHristmas, Jack Skellington is often referred to as this type of king.

2. Your left one of these is located in front of your mid cerebral artery.

3. Though she performs with it as her last name, this former member of the group Hole was born with it as a first name?

***4. Of the five vowels, which one is represented by the fewest tiles in Scrabble?

5. A kids museum in Philadelphia, located on North 21st Street, has a title that begins with an adverb. What is the adverb?

6. In the Greek alphabet, it’s BETA. What is it in English?

7. What were nine men trapped inside of in Somerset, PA in 2002?

8. In the movie Dogma, angels Bartleby and Loki are banished from heaven to live in Wisconsin. How long is their time on earth supposed to last?

9. This musician, whose first name is Matthew, put out a popular rock album in 1991 called Girlfriend.

10. The Detroit Pistons have a player named Tayshaun who regularly destroys the Sixers. What’s his last name?

The answers to those questions? 1. PUMPKIN 2. EYE 3. LOVE 4. U 5. PLEASE 6. B 7. MINE 8.FOREVER 9. SWEET 10. PRINCE.

Brian, who was in charge of writing down answers, gave Johnny a look at the conclusion of the round. That was Johnny’s cue to play “At Last” by Etta James. Brian then walked over to Meghan and said, “This is weird. Look at these answers.” As she was looking at them, a quizzical look came over her face. He then produced the ring, though he wasn’t able to drop to a knee. “I fell down the stairs this weekend and screwed up my back.” Her eyes lit up like Times Square, and in disbelief, she uttered, “Are you f****** kidding me?” That was quickly followed with a “Yes!” and champagne was produced. The crowd at the bar, confused at first, produced a hearty roar when Johnny told them what had happened, and an even heartier roar when he told them that in celebration he was giving everyone a perfect round 1 score. Meghan missed round 2 (The Ford or Chevy round). She was too busy running down South Street, showing off the ring to every single human being she passed.