Your Arthur Kade Thought For the Weekend

Arthur says:  At that moment, I realized that I am a savior, a god to people who sit at their desk the whole day, hate their lives, and want to probably jump off a roof because they are so miserable. I am the modern day “Acting Moses”, the person who was given the drive, looks, and talent to lead my followers to the promise land, and make the impossible, possible. 

I hope all of my fellow Arthur Kadets are able to visit the “promised land” this weekend. I bet it looks a lot like Arthur’s basement.

Scoreboard, Brought to You by the Biltmore Estate

biltmore

O’NEALS 

  1. Same Name as Last Week 106
  2. Truth Wind and Fire 99
  3. Why is John’s Rum Gone? 83
  4. Stabby McGee 69
  5. Topless Carwash 56

BARDS

  1. Narcotyzing Dysfunktion 113
  2. The Sofa Kingdom 108
  3. L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics 101
  4. Death Star Attack Run 73
  5. Groomsmen or Pallbearers? 71

LOCUST RENDEZVOUS

  1. The Jams 105
  2. The Champs 103
  3. Quiz on Your Face 102
  4. 1022 97
  5. Who Uses a Payphone Anymore? 84

BLACK SHEEP

  1. Sotomayor Momma 105
  2. Satan’s Minions 96
  3. Duane’s World 96
  4. Unusual Suspects 84
  5. 5.5 on the Kade Scale 73

UGLY AMERICAN

  1. Joker’s Wilder 111
  2. Eschaton 102
  3. Amber Alert 96
  4. Two Fags and 2 Hags 79

BARDS

  1. Sofa Kingdom 94
  2. Hurtin Bombs 92
  3. I Don’t Make Monkeys, I Just Train ‘Em 88
  4. Mike Piazza Freebases Parmesan 71
  5. Our Score=Our Employment Status 66

Hola From Sunny Charlotte

Hey kids, sitting in the Charlotte airport getting ready to catch a connecting flight to Asheville, where I’m hanging out this weekend. I’ll be posting scores when I get into Asheville. One thing I kind of like about the Charlotte airport: there are rocking chairs everywhere. For some reason that seems really cool.

They just announced that maintenance is on board the aircraft and that we may have to wait a few minutes before we board. Then I heard a few people moaning, which totally blows my doors. I mean, would they rather the maintenance people not fix whatever it is that’s wrong so we could take our chances in a faulty aircraft? When a wing blows off at 30,000 feet, are they gonna say, “Yeah, it sucks, but at least we boarded on time.” I just don’t understand people sometimes. Alright, well I’m off. Talk to ya soon.