Goodtimes’ Groupies were able to pull away in the final round to knock off the Bastard Children of Claire Huxtable, 93-88, at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Groupies are just a fact of life for the master quizzologist. “Yeah, they’re everywhere,” says Goodtimes. “A lot of people think that my life is just a continuous cycle of sex, drugs, and quizzo. They’re right.”**

**Johnny would like to remind kids to stay away from drugs, or they too may wind up photoshopping hot groupies onto their websites and pretending like they’re big time celebrities who score a lot of tail.

Don’t call it a comeback. Screwed the Pooch came from 12 points down in the final round to knock off the Nation of Quizlam at Nick’s Roast Beef by 13 points. Sadly the Nation, who had the double digit lead heading hit into the final stanza, hit an iceberg midway through the fourth round. The disaster was so dramatic, so amazing, that Leo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet have already been signed to do a really awful movie about it.

Despite dealing with an injury to Dwayne, who fell off his skateboard in the opening credits, the team of Dwayne, Rerun, Rog, and Shirley were able to pull away in round four at Doc Watson’s Quizzo on Monday. The Quizard of Oz finished second. Later it was discovered that the team had been grounded and shouldn’t have been out at all, something which came to light when Dee showed up. “Ooooh, I’m gonna tell mama!” she stated before storming out the door.

Due to camera problems experienced this week, I do not have pics of the winners. However, I did my best to keep the fans happy. Everything will be back up and running by next week.

The Quizaholics Anonymous won at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, squeaking past Your Mom’s On Tap, 102-97. One of the first round round questions was, “What Hollywood superstar doesn’t have time for relationships, so she just has sex in hotel rooms with her friends? Answer: Angelina Jolie. Which brings up this point: If anyone sees or talks with Angelina in the next few weeks, please tell her I’m a great listener, a good shoulder to cry on, and I have no problem keeping secrets.

Ferocious Dump had wanted to get the whole Clay Aiken episode behind them. “We’re not even thinking about that clown now that William Hung is on the scene.” Alas, they were forced to think about him one last time, as Johnny’s camera “mysteriously” broke on Tuesday, forcing Johnny to use an old photo after the Dump’s big win. “We have every reason to believe this was an act of sabotage, probably perpetrated by the QLA,” said John Ashcroft from a hospital bed where hopefully he’ll die. “It has all the earmarks of a QLA (Quizzo Liberation Army) strike. They’re still mad that Johnny hasn’t responded to their demands that the True-False Round be dissolved. If Johnny wasn’t such a leftist pinko commie we would do a full investigation. ”

Hawaii Quiz-O, hot on the trail of the evil Wo Fat, stopped by Nick’s Roast Beef on Wednesday night, withstood a late charge from the Peco Power Play, and took a victory back to the islands. Then they noticed a local sleezebag, Otis “Silver Fox” Maplethorpe playing for another team. Danny Williams caught the swarthy bastard trying to escape out the door. Book ’em, Danno!

There will be a great comedy show at Doc Watson’s, with several great local comedians performing, including Eric Todd and John Kensil. Johnny Goodtimes will be the MC. Showtime is 8:30 p.m. and tix are cheap.

Quiz U Iz or Quiz U Ain’t won at Nick’s Wednesday night, knocking off the Power Play, 86-78. But the big story was Nick’s change of bartenders. Joe, an Olde City legend, was recently traded to Houston for Yao Ming. “Yeah, Ming isn’t quite as polished as Joe was, and he doesn’t speak real good English, but he can easily snag bottles off our top shelf,” said bar owner Nick R. Beef. Nick’s also got a 2005 2nd round draft pick in the deal.