Johnny Out Late, Quizzo Cancelled

There will be no quizzo on Monday at Doc Watson’s, due to the holiday. Johnny was apparently in the holiday spirit on Sunday night, as the paparazzi caught the original King of Goodtimes out at 2:00 a.m., eating pizza from Lorenzo’s on South Street. Some reports indicate that he may have had alcohol in his system. Johnny was not pleased. “Can’t an international mega-star grab a slice of pizza with three female admirers without a gaggle of photographers gathering around?” he shouted, leaving bystanders impressed with his use of the word gaggle.

Story of the day

This one’s about a man who’s bringing his ex-wife along with him on his honeymoon.

Fo’ Drizzle? Fo’ Rizzle

Fo’ Drizzle was able to squeak out a win at Doc Watson’s on Monday night, edging Sloe Gin Quiz, 76-74. And once again Slick “Tank-Top” Harringslack was able to provide a winning team with a spark, just like last week at the Bards. “I don’t remember that guy being there,” said team member Randolph Mustard. “But if it’s on johnnygoodtimes.com, then it must be true.”

Question of the Week

The bad news was that Dubya fell off his bike on Saturday. The good news is that he inspired this week’s question. What was the name of Chuck’s bike store in Pee Wee Herman’s Big Adventure? (w/o question one of Johnny’s favorite all-time movies.) And no, Amazing Larry doesn’t have anything to share with the rest of us.

Shrek 2

The Blind Squirrels, who provided the inspiration for “Shrek,” made a sequel on Wednesday at Nick’s Roast Beef, crushing the second place finishers, Quiz Eye for the Straight Guy. Though the characters were a little different this time around, the result was the same. And more importantly, it provides me with the perfect opportunity to provide the link I promised last week, showing that Banderas did indeed hold Timberlake’s hand at a screening of Shrek 2.

Minnesota Rock Stars Win At Doc’s

A group of Minnesota Rock Stars, known as Mountain Mama and the Vodka Pants, won a tight contest at Watson’s on Monday. The Pants were led by Minnesota rocker Prince, who owes his career almost entirely to Johnny, as Goodtimes let him sing after the T/F round a few times in the early 80’s. Prince repaid Johnny with a tribute in the song “Kiss.” (U just leave it all up to me, I know we could have a Goodtimes.) Anyways, after the contest, the members of the team smashed their guitars into Johnny’s amp, because that’s what rock stars do.

Chicago a Hit at Nick’s

As if winning six Oscar’s wasn’t enough, “Chicago” took it’s show on the road and won big at Nick’s on Wednesday. But not everyone was pleased. “Richard Gere sucks,” said Joe the bartender, “And I better not see him in here again.”

Somebody Wins At Doc Watson

What? Do you really think I forgot the team’s name that won at Doc Watson’s on Monday? That’s ridiculous! Are you kidding me? What? Oh, like I’m going to try to distract you from the facts by showing a picture of my favorite hairdo ever! I took that photo at the Phillies game Thursday! Isn’t it great! Seriously, that guy was sitting right behind me.

Blind Squirrels Win

The Blind Squirrels Won at Nick’s Roast Beef, but soon came under fire when it was reported that they were the ringleaders behind last weeks vicious squirrel attack at the Bards. Though the team has denied the allegations, Jim Gardner recently reported that the majority of the Allentown Flying Squirrels are blind, and that the team is currently being held for questioning. Gardner went on to say that this is the most ridiculous story he has ever been a part of, and he thinks Johnny is really just beating a dead horse with this flying squirrel thing.

Goodtimes Groupies Walk Tall

Goodtimes Groupies became the first team to ever win two different quizzos in one week, as they utilized the strength of The Rock to knock off Bombs Over Baghdad, 96-86.. “Yeah, it was kool to have the Rock on our side,” said Groupie Toby Witherspoon, “But I really didn’t think he had any reason to hit that guy on the second place team over the head with the 2×4.”