Well, I haven’t been having great luck with the ladies so far on this trip, and I think I know why. It’s because I didn’t set any goals before the trip. Therefore, I am setting them now, and I’m not going to half ass it. I’m going to try to find a wife before I reach Las Vegas, so that we can get married there. (And, considering that I’m going to Salt Lake City, I may try to find two or three wives.) I think that tonight’s Journey/Def Leppard concert is a great place to start looking. I’ll keep you updated.
Author: aetchells
Detroit hookers
Two girls came and sat down beside us at a bar in Detroit called Fishbone. One of them was kind of cute, and we chatted for a while. Well, my naivete was in full effect, as I just assumed that they thought I was cute. Lyle kind of sat on the other side of me and didn’t really say much. Then, after one of them checked my license to see if my name was really Johnny Goodtimes, they asked if I would buy them a shot. I said, “Sure.” So we did a shot, then Lyle whispered in my ear. “I’m getting a strong feeling we’re dealing with workin’ girls here.” All of a sudden, it clicked into place, like in the 6th Sense. They were wearing tightly fitting clothing, had been talking a little brusquely (I just figured that that’s how women talked in Detroit), had been asking me what I did for a living and how much money I made. After the shot, they quickly departed, and actually left us with the bill for their other drinks as well. I told the bartender that I wouldn’t pay for their drinks, but I know how bad it sucks to have someone run on a check, so I left her a huge tip to help cover for those females de la noche.
But a number of questions remain unanswered. For one thing, why did they bail without trying to out and out proposition us? When they found out that I was a quizmaster, were they that turned off? Of course, more sinisterly, did she take note of my SS# and do something shady? She seemed too stupid to memorize numbers, but it seems strange to chat up some guys for a half hour just to get a free shot off of them. I’ve signed up for a credit check, so I can keep an eye on it, but I am a little nervous. Let this be a lesson to you: No matter what the circumstances are, never, ever, go to Detroit.
What should Johnny do in St. Louis and Dallas?
Alright peeps, I’m headed to St. louis tommorrow, then heading to Dallas on SUnday. Anybody got anything I need to see or do in those two cities? (FYI, due to both state and federal laws, I cannot take a lead pipe to TO’s knee, so don’t bother suggesting it. Although you know I kind of want to, and I know you want me to.)
Who is the sexiest singer in the world (male or female)?
As usual, things are totally hectic, so I’m gonna need you guys to help run the website today. Just want you to let me know who you think is the sexiest singer around today (male or female). Off the top of my head, I’m going with Shakira.
I’m at Wrigley!
Hey peeps, just wanted to holler at you while I am sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley! 67 degrees. Amazing. Get this, it’s country music night, and Lee Anne Womack sang the national anthem. Ugh! Don’t worry, I won’t let that ruin my evening. I’ll write all about it manana on the road trip blog. Hope things are going well in Philly!
Question of the Week
On July 18th, 1938 Douglas Corrigan flew a plane out of Brooklyn, and was supposed to head to Long Beach, California. In what country did his plane land instead?
Johnny in Blinq, Metro
Local egomaniac Johnny Goodtimes is basking in the glow of his own narcissism today, as you can read about him by going to Blinq or by picking up a copy of today’s Metro. He will breferring to himself in the third person for the remainder of the day. And yes, he knows he owes you a Detroit hooker story. It’s coming. Honest.
Johnny interviews the Average Homeboy
Hey peeps, JGT here. Just cruisin through Kalamazoo, “Where Dreams Do Come True!” I just made that slogan up, but I think it’s a pretty good one. First off, remember the average homeboy, who I told you about a few months ago? Well, I hung out with him and got a great interview with him while I was in Cleveland! Check it ut on the website, traffic.com. Also, I’ve got some behind the scenes stuff I’ll try to share with you on this site, including getting scammed for drinks by a couple of hookers in Detroit. Don’t worry, I was able to hold onto my dignity. In fact, the story isn’t nearly as salacious as it sounds, but it’s kind of funny. But it’s kind of tough to write while riding in a truck, so I’ll have to give you details later.
Help Jet Li!
Hey gang, got this email from my friend Meghan at the PSPCA. If anyone has room for a cat at their house, or knows someone who does, please help this one! If you are interested, please contact Meghan.
Jet Li came to our shelter in December after being caught in a trap. He is one of the nicest cats you could ever meet. He loves to be pet, loves attention and most of all just the sweetest cat. He’s about 4 years old, already neutered and almost all black. Unfortunately, he had some kind of problem with his eyes where they were always squinting, and he has ringorm. We thought it might have been allergies, but came to the conclusion that it was not. Luckily, he has been placed in a foster home where he is flourishing. His eyes are much better and he’s just loving life outside of the shelter. However, now we need to find a permanent home for Jet Li because the foster mom can no longer care for him and he will be placed to sleep if he returns back to the shelter. We simply do not have the resources to take care of him with his situation. I love this cat so much, and if I didn’t have a small zoo in my own home, he’d be there. Please help him. If you cannot, please forward this to someone who can. Thank you for anything you can do.
What should Johnny do in Chicago?
Hey gang, just kicking it in the Hampton Inn in downtown Cleveland, getting ready to head down to the harbor. Hope all is well in Philly. To read about me hosting quizzo in DC, falling in love in Pittsburgh, and rockin and rolling in Cleveland, click here. Otherwise, lemme know where I need to go what I need to do in Chicago, where I’ll be on Monday morning and staying for a couple of days. Planning on getting in a Cubs game and maybe checking out the aquarium.Any other ideas for what I should eatand what I should do? You guys steered me right when it came to crab cakes and Primanti Brothers, so I’m counting on you to tell me what to do in the Windy City. (Oh, and as far as photos go, Jam aster said he’s having some troubles with the camera, but hopefully I’ll have them up soon.)