JGT Drops Vicious Battle Rap Skewering Denver

You all may remember a few months ago when Denver “comedian” Adam Cayton-Holland ripped Philly a new one. Needless to say, I had to answer back with a vicious attack of my own. But getting married cuts into one’s battle rap time, so it took me a little while to respond. It was well worth the wait. I rip Denver and the other cities participating a new one, as well as Cayton-Holland and our good friends John Dicker and the Slump Busters, who travelled to Philly last year for Quizzo Bowl. Since I know no-one in Philly really knows anything about Albuquerque and Colorado Springs, so here’s a little background:

So 4 members of Sofa Kingdom, myself, and my buddy Carl are headed out to Denver to regulate at Geek Bowl V at the end of the month. We will represent the birthplace of quizzo proudly. Last year we finished 4th. That wasn’t good enough. This year we plan on finishing First.

Needless to say, the rap is so badass that Denverites have either responded weakly or not at all. While their local alternative weekly lamely tries to rip me, on the Geeks Who Drink website only two people have dared challenge my verbal artistry. So it looks like we are not only going to win Geek Bowl, we are going to rip out Denver’s souls while doing so.

4 thoughts on “JGT Drops Vicious Battle Rap Skewering Denver

  1. Ha ha. Good stuff (“I wouldn’t screw a Colorado chick with John’s Dicker…”). On a related note, over the summer, I visited a friend from Philly who had to (at gunpoint, I think) move to Denver and I noticed there were NO good-looking women. Anywhere. Not downtown. Not at the Rockies game. Not at that strip of bars by the stadium. I was really surprised. I guess I was expecting some sweet snow bunnies or tight-butt rock climbers. Maybe a hot hostess somewhere. Nope. So I mentioned that to him and he said “Yeah, why do you think they call it MEN-ver?” Very disappointing.

  2. I really think Philadelphians are projecting when a national survey of the city’s OWN RESIDENTS and visitors consistently report that Philadelphia has the ugliest residents of the 30 largest cities in the country. I’ve visited Philadelphia a few times, and I wouldn’t say they are the ugliest but apparently most people disagree with me. BTW, according to the same survey Denver has the 6th most attractive people in the nation.

    1. To be fair, I have to admit there are a few very good-looking women in the team pics on Dicker’s site. They must’ve all been at the Lilith Fair when I was in town.

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