You all may remember a few months ago when Denver “comedian” Adam Cayton-Holland ripped Philly a new one. Needless to say, I had to answer back with a vicious attack of my own. But getting married cuts into one’s battle rap time, so it took me a little while to respond. It was well worth the wait. I rip Denver and the other cities participating a new one, as well as Cayton-Holland and our good friends John Dicker and the Slump Busters, who travelled to Philly last year for Quizzo Bowl. Since I know no-one in Philly really knows anything about Albuquerque and Colorado Springs, so here’s a little background:
- Albuquerque has a big hot air balloon event every year. They also have a major meth problem, as is reflected in the show Breaking Bad.
- The video of the car crash in Colorado Springs is amazing. Basically, the people there are so dumb that even though they saw 15 cars crashed on the side of the road, they kept trying to drive up this one hill covered with ice and inevitably crashing. As for the lights comment, the city is so broke they have to cut off their street lights at night.
So 4 members of Sofa Kingdom, myself, and my buddy Carl are headed out to Denver to regulate at Geek Bowl V at the end of the month. We will represent the birthplace of quizzo proudly. Last year we finished 4th. That wasn’t good enough. This year we plan on finishing First.
Needless to say, the rap is so badass that Denverites have either responded weakly or not at all. While their local alternative weekly lamely tries to rip me, on the Geeks Who Drink website only two people have dared challenge my verbal artistry. So it looks like we are not only going to win Geek Bowl, we are going to rip out Denver’s souls while doing so.