Lambda Wins Action Packed “Quzzo” Bowl VI

4450899039_4e40efd501_bAnother year, another raucous party, as over 300 packed into the TLA to participate in Quizzo Bowl VI. There was insanity, there was controversy, there was a person on stage wearing a protective cup. When the dust settled, Lambda Lambda Lambda held onto the enormous James Buchanan Memorial Trophy with an impressive final round run that carried them to a 14 point victory. Eschaton and Deacon Blues finished tied for second.

The action started with a rap rendition of Just a Quiz to the Bizmark classic, Just a Friend. It would have been better if I had remembered the words, but that is neither here nor there. Fastball Bob came out to help out with the rules, then we were ready to rock. The first round passed rather uneventfully, and at the end of Round One, the defending champs found themselves in a tie with Betty White is the New Black with a perfect 13 each. 


After the West Philadelphia Orchestra gave their jazzy tribute to some famous classical tunes, the second round began. Most of the top teams hated the 50-50 topic (as I suspected they would.) It was male enhancement pill or not. The reason for the round was simple: I didn’t want to do some sort of history round or something and have all the usual suspects at the top of the leader board after a mere two rounds. My plan worked, though as I said, it didn’t win me any popularity contests. Sofa Kingdom particularly (and let’s be honest, surprisingly) bombed in Round Two, while Eschaton and Betty White is the New Black both really knew their sex pills. At this point, the contingent from Denver was also in the mix, and waved a Colorado flag when their name was called. This resulted in a cacophany of boos and a “Denver Sucks” chant that shook the rafters. 

4450938181_d8135d9aed_bThen came the halftime show, and has become an annual tradition, it was an epic disaster. The first contestant on the Dating Game took the stage, a character by the name of Fishtown Eddie. Suddenly, one member of Lambda came rushing down to the front of the stage, screaming angrily at Fishtown Eddie, saying that it was a tired stereotype. The yelling continued on into the skit, leaving many to wonder: was it real or all part of the act? We may never know, as both Lambda teammate Steve-O and Quizmaster Johnny Goodtimes refuse to answer questions on the topic. Security had to be called to escort the Lambda member away from the stage. 

The Wild card round was “All things South”, and that is where we started to separate the wheat from the chaffe. Betty White… scored an impressive 11 out of 12 correct to take a one point lead over Lambda heading into the final round. It looked like we might be headed for an epic upset, as Betty White was a team of only 4 members who play on occasion at the Black Sheep.

4450947037_4d498f2520_bSadly, it was not to be. Lambda played like champions in the final round, nailing 11 out of 12 questions correctly, and held the trophy aloft for the 3rd straight year to a chorus of boos, and some in the crowd began to chant “Fishtown Sucks”. With their third straight win and with the wild display at halftime, Lambda had done what many would have thought impossible not too long ago. They had taken the title away from Sofa Kingdom as not only the most feared team in quizzo, but the most hated as well.

17 thoughts on “Lambda Wins Action Packed “Quzzo” Bowl VI

  1. When Did Biz Markie become Bizmark?
    When did Quizzo lose the “Quzzo”?

    and most importantly, when did the Adam Eaton Cup become the James Buchanan Memorial Trophy?

    Wynnewood doesn't suck!

  2. Is certain that Wynnewood sucks. Only things in Wynnewood not suck are Borders' Book Store and salad bar at Genuardi's. And fact that Wynnewood is not Fishtown. All else is huge suck.

  3. We Rode in On Our Mile High Horse had a fantastic time even if we fell apart in round Four. And… it's way more fun being booed than not being booed. Of course, the hate stopped immediately after the Quzzo Bowl” and everyone was very friendly to us at the after party and the after-after party at the scariest strip club I've ever been to. I've now been to two strip clubs so take that for what it's worth.

    Big ups to Johnny Goodtimes for a great show. Next year Colorado will bring its A team and at least as many annoying props. I'm thinking some sort of trumpet, noisemakers and multiple lariats.

    1. Yeah, some of the members of Sofa Kingdom as well as Kristy from Axis of Evil Knieval made sure Dicker and his buddy got the full Philadelphia experience. The Republican and the Melrose Diner; two not-to-be-missed Philly institutions.

      As for our performance, I'm starting to feel like we are the Atlanta Braves of Quizzo.

  4. Lambda Lambda Lambda's Third Victory Tainted: Questions Raised About Quizzo Bowl VII

    Lambda Lambda Lambda's triumphant third victory was tainted by the actions of one of their members, known as the Fishtown Fanatic. The Fishtown Fanatic disagreed with a parody sketch put on during the second intermission that, among other things, mocked Fishtown culture. During the skit, the Fanatic charged the stage and then threatened to fight a member of another Quizzo team whose table stood in the way of the stage.

    The incident marred an otherwise spectacular night at the TLA, raised questions about the nature of Lambda Lambda Lambda's victory, and poses a large problem for Johnny Goodtimes as he plans for Quizzo Bowl VII.

    The confrontation occurred during halftime. JGT put on a parody sketch of the Dating Game that included one character representing Fishtown. The actor, dressed in a green jumpsuit, received applause and laughter from the crowd.

    One member of Lambda Lambda Lambda, known only as the FIshtown Fanatic, took umbrage with the representation, charged the stage shouting, and subsequently picked a fight with a player on what was at that time the last placed team. Bouncers and TLA personnel eventually cleared the scene. The Fanatic paced around Lambda's table for the remainder of the sketch, fuming.

    The episode raised questions about whether Lambda should have been allowed to continue to compete in Quzzo Bowl VI. Threats of attacking JGT are rare during Quizzo events. Threats of violence against other teams are unheard of within the Quizzo community. Many believed that the sanctity of the game was violated by the Fishtown Fanatic and by his Lambda Lambda Lambda teammates who took no steps to reign in the angry ramblings of one of their members.

    That the team received no penalty for their inability to control the temper tantrum of one of their members raised questions about Quizzo Bowl VII.

    The Guy that Looks Andy Reid has suggested that the team has no plans to address the issue. In a brief statement released on, TGTLAR dismissed the episode as “Manny being Many.”

    Goodtimes now faces what may be the largest test in the otherwise untarnished and storied history of the JGT brand.

    Will Goodtimes allow Lambda to seat their full team in 2011? If he bans the Fishtown Fanatic, then should Lambda lose in 2011, the victorious team may always carry an asterisk next to their claim to the championship.

    Others disagree, arguing that anyone who displays the behavior of the Fishtown Fanatic must be a drag on the team. Should the FIshtown Fanatic be banned, Lambda may have the opportunity to bring in a new member and become even more dominant.

    Questions also surround how the episode will affect Goodtimes’ plans for 2011. If Goodtimes does allow the Fanatic to play in 2011, will the Fanatic's presence intimidate Goodtimes and curb his artistic freedom?

    Don’t expect any answers soon. After releasing a brief statement, The Guy That Looks Like Andy Reid has refused to answer any further questions.

  5. Bravo! These are all good questions. Will Goodtimes address the issue of quizzo violence and intimidation, or will he resort to his usual policy of obfuscation, stonewalling and coverup. The long history of corruption and lawlessness in JGT quizzo leaves this observer with little cause for optimism.

  6. Which will come first: the Scott Pelley segment on 60 minutes complete with Michael Moore style camera chase or the UN Inquiry?

  7. Much more importantly, in this latest team photo w/ JGT, what is that little orange thing sticking out of the head of the guy on the far right? Looks suspiciously like some sort of radio receiver or antenna. Is it possible they were getting research electronically sent to them somehow? Where's the Conspiracist when you need him?

    Oh, and Fishtown rules!!!

  8. Do you not recall the scene reminiscent of Gene Hackman walking onto the court in Hoosiers to get Dennis “Shooter” Hopper off of the court that occurred when I went down to the stage area to retrieve FF? Granted, it took quite a while to get down there, but they don't call me TGTLLAR for nothing (you missed an L in your posting above).

    I think a technical foul may have been in order, but disqualifying the whole team is a bit harsh. How about, oh I don't know, a 13-point penalty?

  9. Is true. Stupid Fishtown American asshole would not have become enraged and attacked teammember of other team if he had subscribed to Dmitri's proven but secret protocols of unleashing tension through blueball destruction. Rage results from inability to soil big breasted sluts.

    1. Lost in all this Fistown stink (see what I did there?) is the Men's Room Line Debacle in which a very handsome fella was slapped deliberately across the face by another crazed member of Lambda. I think the QB needs a not-so-random drug testing policy.

  10. Of course, I mean see what I did there in addition to misspelling Fishtown? Wait, did I now mispell misspell?

  11. What? Someone got slapped in the face by a member of Lambda? I feel like Lambda is entering that point on Behind the Music where “success went to their heads and it all started to fall apart”.

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