The Best Song About Cannibalism Ever


Jack from the Champs posted a comment yesterday that made me aware of one of the most amazing songs ever recorded, Timothy by the Buoys. The song was written by a young Rupert Holmes. I did a little research on the song, and found a great interview with Holmes about the novelty tune that actually reached #17 on the Billboard charts, despite being banned by hundreds of radio stations due to its lyrics about cannibalism. (I love how on this site, you can get a “Timothy” ringtone on your cell, in case you want to hear a song about cannibalism every time your phone rings.) He knew he wasn’t going to get a marketing budget for thsi band, the Buoys, so he had to create controversy. He did it with cannibalism:
“At the time, I was working on an arrangement of ’16 Tons,’ the Tennessee Ernie Ford hit from the ’50s, for an artist named Andy Kim. While I was working on the arrangement, there was a cooking show on the TV in the kitchen. It was called The Galloping Gourmet with Graham Kerr. It’s on in the background and I’m singing the lyrics to ’16 Tons,’ playing it to a kind of vamp sort of like ‘Proud Mary,’ and I sing ‘Some people say a man is made out of mud, a coal man’s made out of muscle and blood. Muscle and blood and skin and bones, a mind that’s weak and a back that’s…’ and I think, you know, that almost sounds like a recipe – muscle and blood and skin and bones, bake in a moderate oven for 2 hours, top with Miracle Whip. I had seen the movie Suddenly Last Summer about a week earlier on TV, and it had a revelation about cannibalism in it, and I thought, If it’s good enough for Tennessee Williams, it’s good enough for The Buoys. So I thought, Cannibalism during a mining disaster, that’ll get banned. It’s not like I’m really telling people to go out and eat someone, this is just this dark, horrible thing that happened in this story. So I write this lyric: ‘Timothy, Timothy, where on Earth did you go?’ It’s about three boys who are trapped in a mine with water but no food for maybe a week. When they’re pulled free, they don’t remember what happened, but they know they’re not hungry. One of them is missing, and that’s Timothy.

French Fry Thursday at Ugly American and Bards

frenchfry
Zero inches of snow does not deter Philadelphia’s only true man of leisure. Therefore, after a two martini lunch at the new Garces Trading Company, I am busily preparing questions for tonight’s quiz. I hope to see you there. First of all we’ve got a Bounty Bowl at the Ugly American. Anyone who can knock off L. Ron Hubbard’s Diabetics and take home the first prize can go home with $25 of my cash in addition to their $30 gift certificate. That’s $55 to your team if you win tonight. Ugly American at 8 p.m.

Then, on to the Bards at 10:15 p.m. Can somebody please put a decent team together and take Steak Em Up to the wood shed? Please? Call your smart friends. Tell them it is vital to the national security that they come out tonight. Let’s make this happen.

Are Humans Getting Smarter or Dumber?

 
Had a good discussion with some members of one of the teams at the Vous yesterday about “kids today” and decided to do a little research today on whether “kids today” are smarter than ever or destined to lead the world on the highway to hell due to their sheer stupidity. There are, needless to say, various theories on this topic. One comes from a 2007 article in the San Francisco Gate. The friend the writer mentions is a teacher.

We are now at a point where we are essentially churning out ignorant teens who are becoming ignorant adults and society as a whole will pay dearly, very soon…It’s gotten so bad that, as my friend nears retirement, he says he is very seriously considering moving out of the country so as to escape what he sees will be the surefire collapse of functioning American society in the next handful of years due to the absolutely irrefutable destruction, the shocking — and nearly hopeless — dumb-ification of the American brain. It is just that bad.

However, a recent article in the New York Times seems to think that we are smarter than ever, though acknowledging that IQ is in a large part determined by our surroundings. 

Another indication of malleability is that I.Q. has risen sharply over time. Indeed, the average I.Q. of a person in 1917 would amount to only 73 on today’s I.Q. test. Half the population of 1917 would be considered mentally retarded by today’s measurements, Professor Nisbett says.

This leads us to another professor, a man in New Zealand named James Flynn, who wrote  a book in which he explains what is commonly called the Flynn effect:

Your IQ is likely to be higher than those of your parents, and your children’s IQs is likely to be higher than yours.

“Our advantage over our ancestors is relatively uniform at all ages from the cradle to the grave,” says Flynn. Nobody knows if the gains will persist, but “there is no doubt that they dominated the 20th century and that their existence and size were quite unexpected.”

So what do you think? Do you think that mankind is getting smarter or dumber? Do you think that the generation behind us is way dumber than we are or way smarter than we are? Or are public education and IQ completely unrelated, and that those who are raised by caring parents have IQs are rising exponentially from generation to generation while those who have uneducated, absentee parents have IQs that remain stagnant from generation to generation? Interested to see what you guys think.  

RELATED: A more detailed account of this debate was in a 2003 article in Skeptic Magazine. 

iSportacus Named “Best Phillies Coverage” by Philadelphia Weekly

pwWant to take a moment to acknowledge a feather in the cap for our sports site. iSportacus.com was named “Best Phillies Coverage” by the Philadelphia Weekly. In a city whose baseball blogs include Phillies Nation, Beerleaguer, and We Should Be GMs, this is a pretty big honor and, quite frankly, a pretty big upset. Nonetheless, we are flattered. BMT and I have put a lot of effort into the site and it’s nice to know that a few people are noticing. Not a whole lot of baseball on the site now, but I can assure you we are both anxiously awaiting opening day and will stop caring about curling and Eddie Jordan as soon as the first pitch is thrown. And don’t worry, PW, I’m going to let your choice of Irish John as Best Quizmaster slide in the merriment of the moment.

Quizzo Tonight

Didn’t get much done on the website today because I went to see some of the guys I coach play a playoff game for their high school team (Math, Civics, and Sciences.) Strangely, it was the first time I’ve ever been at a high school basketball game that got called due to rain (roof was leaking). But enough about me, let’s talk about you. You will be attending quizzo tonight, either at O’Neals at 8 p.m. or Bards at 10 p.m. Yes. That’s an order. I will see you there.