Barney Frank has recently introduced legislation that would legalize marijuana. “What, is he crazy?” you ask. Yes. The answer is yes. Apparently Barney Frank doesn’t realize that marijuana causes people to murder their parents, listen to jazz, and hang out with Mexicans. But something tells me that there is something he isn’t counting on: the courage of his fellow Congressman, who will almost certainly strike down this law.

Naturally, we here At JGT headquarters are distraught over the bankruptcy of Bennigan’s, our favorite Irish restaurant. No more Guinness Glazed Popcorn Shrimp. No more Kilkenny’s Country Chicken Wrap. No more “Oh Baby” Back Ribs. Remember all that fun we used to have at Bennigan’s? All the laughter? Remember that time Donnie put his baby back rib in the pitcher of Mountain Dew? Fun times, fun times. Oh well, for authentic Irish authenticity, we’ve still got Kildare’s.

A formidable squad composed of some Duane’s World guys and some Sofa’s pulled off a 107-98 win over My Nickname at School Was Scurvy Purvy at the Franklin Institute on Saturday night. Early in the contest, Johnny’s latest rival, Captain Babyface, threatened to take Johnny’s bounty from the night’s quiz. Babyface was a real nightmare, shouting out answers and using his phone during Round One before kicking Johnny’s ass. Fortunately, Johnny was taught the mystical ways of the East from Mr. Pierogie, and in a heroic final scene was able to fight off Babyface in an epic battle that has Broadway buzzing. We had a good crowd (about 60) and set a new record for most kids at a JGT event (lots). All in all a fun night, and I went and checked out the Pirate exhibit on Monday, and it was pretty cool.

I have long said that one of the main reasons that I want a championship win in Philadelphia is because I want an excuse to flip over a Hummer from Jersey and set it on fire. Sadly, I may not get that chance. Hummers are becoming obsolete with rising gas prices, and the wonderful people that own them are having a hard time selling them. They are also being mocked when they go out in public. This is nothing short of a tragedy. Unless you’re like me, and you find a certain thrill in bad things happening to bad people. (And every single person who owns a Hummer is a bad human being. Every single one. Other than Jersey drivers, I can think of no group of people who I universally hate as much as Hummer owners. Of course, in this area those two groups are usually one in the same.)