Well, things in the “What classic movie should Johnny watch this weekend?” poll are looking pretty interesting. As of this writing, we have a tie between Casablanca and Dr. Strangelove. Who’s gonna take the title? We’ll know at 5 p.m. In the meantime, Chip and I are finishing up a little film we worked on last week. I’ll be posting the movie on Monday.

Edgar Allen Poe, Allen Iverson, and I all followed similar paths from the streets of Virginia to Philadelphia. And as the sole remaining torch bearer of our little triumvirate, I feel it is my duty to inform you that the band Glass Prism is performing manana at the German Society in a benefit for the EA Poe National Historic Site. They are best known for taking the poem The Raven and setting it to music. Anyway, should be a fairly intriguing Halloween party.

In the 7th grade, I memorized the entire poem The Raven for a middle school oratory contest. I got dressed up like Poe, put a plastic raven over an actual door, and performed the poem splendidly without a hitch. And when I didn’t win 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or honorable mention, my mom was pissed. Especially when J.D. Outten got Honorable Mention for doing some dumb “radio broadcast with an alien” sketch. And judges, if you think that I or my mother have forgotten this little slight, you are wrong. Dead wrong.

-Inky scribe Inga Saffron pulls no punches when describing the hideous Symphony House on Broad Street.

-In better Broad Street news: With the 425th anniversary of William Penn coming to Philly being tomorrow, the gang decided to clean the old fella up a bit. Here’s some pretty cool photos the cleaning job, including one from inside his face. Here’s a bunch more photos from Philly Skyline. These are even cooler, but there are a lot more of them.

-Sugarhouse doesn’t have time for community activism, democracy, etc. It needs to get people hooked on gambling right freaking now! Therefore it is suing the city to stop dilly dallying and get out of it’s f****** way.

-Any Glengarry Glen Ross fans out there? If so, this is a must see. Hilarious (but Not Safe For Work!).

Trivia Art got the sweetest high def TV ever last weekend for the crib, and with the Eagles being unwatchable, I need something else to watch on that giant beauty on weekends. So I got to thinking, and realized that I have not watched a lot of the so-called “Greatest Movies Ever”. I thought a good way to motivate me to do so would be to watch some of these films and write my reviews of them afterward. And I want you guys to help me figure out what to watch. So I’m posting a poll below of some great movies I’ve never seen. Let me know which one I should watch this weekend. I’ll check the standings at 5 p.m. manana and watch the one with the most votes by then.

-Finally, a convenient place to keep that shotgun. I’m pretty sure this is real.

-Philly gets dumped on by Sports Illustrated twice this week. First, the NBA preview issue comes out and the Sixers are declared the worst team in the Eastern Conference. Then, they do a piece on Top 10 cities in a sports slump, and Philadelphia comes in first. It’s raining, we’re ugly, and our sports teams suck. There’s only one person that can break us out of these doldrums: Billy Ocean!

-As many of you know, I drive the sweetest ride in town, a 1997 metallic blue-green Crown Victoria. It scores me a lot of leg. But if you wanna be as awesome as me, you better hurry. They ain’t gonna be makin’ Crown Vics much longer.

–Manayunk is being bombarded by toolbags relieving themselves in public, proving once and for all that Manayunk is the open air outhouse of the Philadelphia Metro Area.

You might be surprised to note that I read pretty much all of the comments on here. Or maybe you’re not surprised to know that. After all, I am a man of leisure. I mean, what the hell else would I do with all this free time? But I have to say that one of my favorite things about this blog is the commenters. Even when the political talk gets heated, it stays moderately respectful in tone and the arguments are usually somewhat fair reasoned, even Bob T.’s. And a lot of the commenters here are pretty clever. Anyways, enough ass kissing, here are a few of my favorite posts from the past week:

-In response to the request, “Tell me some fun facts about Canada“, Wes wrote: If you pull on a Canadian guinea pig’s tail it’s eyeballs will fall out.

-In response to the question of the week, “What 1978 Donny and Marie Osmond movie took place on Hawaii, and was a critical and financial disaster?” Anonymous wrote, Wasn’t it called “No, Seriously, Marie- It’s Legal in Hawaii. Now Touch It”?

-But my favorite came from Gabezilla after I said that I was rooting for the Red Sox:
Once again, Johnny, you fail to see how real life relates to the Transformers:
When we kids, we were always glad when Starscream tried to overtake the mighty Megatron, because we figured dissension was bad for the Decepticons, which was good for the Autobots, which was good for us somehow. But Starscream never did unseat Megatron, and we were all better off because Starsceam, with that obnoxious screach of a voice, was actually more dangerous and careless than Megatron. Sometime into the show’s run a weird, purple character named Shockwave came around. Nobody’s really sure when he came or where he came from, and because he’s really quiet, no one knows much about him. He too tried to take things over, but nobody payed him any mind, even though he had almost no weaknesses. Now that the Yankees (Megatron) are out of the way (indefinitely?), you really want the Starscreaming Red Sox to be established as the new alpha at the expense of the inocuous though boring, Shockwaving Rockies? Sure they beat up the Rodimus Priming Phillies, but, as we all learned, Rodimus Prime was ill suited to wear the crown.
Say no to Starscream people, before it’s too late.

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Some good stuff in this week’s PW. Here’s the highlights:
-Trivia Art and the lovely Ginger (aka Suzy) are both featured in the Taste Mag insert. Not online, you gotta pick up an actual copy.

–Interview with a tattoo artist that is nothing short of amazing. People in the shop tattoo a lot of male genitalia on women. Later I cover them up. Once I turned a penis into Darth Vader. The whole helmet and everything.

–Shakespeare was a perv.

-The most pathetic, most offensive block in Center City Philadelphia is no doubt the west side of 15th street between Spruce and Locust. Fox and the Hound, Buca Di Beppo, and Starbucks form a Holy Triumvirate of generic crap for popped collar douchebags and adventurous South Jerseyites who dare wander out of Old City. And the Wal-Mart of Irish restaurants, Fado, guards the corner of 15th and Locust. Well guess who owns that giant dump of a block? I’ll give you a hint: They are the most hated entity in the city other than the Eagles offense. From PW:
Buca di Beppo, the offensive Italian chain on South 15th Street, is closing once a new tenant for the building is found. We say good riddance! If there’s one thing this town needs less than another Italian BYOB is another crappy chain. Of course considering the space is owned by the Philadelphia Parking Authority, another crappy chain will no doubt sidle up to take its place.

If a wildfire like the one in California struck Philadelphia, and by some queer luck destroyed only the Philadelphia Parking Authority, wouldn’t that just be awful? That would just be awful.