Today is the 43rd birthday of one of my favorite rappers of all time, the Diabolical Biz Markie. Though best known for the song “Just a Friend” on the album The Biz Never Sleeps, it was his debut album (Goin’ Off)that I consider his masterpiece. With songs such as “Vapors’, “Make the Music”, and “Pickin’ Bugars”, this album cracks my top 10 hip-hop albums of all time. I saw the Biz in Philly a few years ago, and he tore it up, though now he spends more time on the turntables than he does rapping.
Month: April 2007
Week in Review
We begin on Tuesday at O’Neals, which was the site of a thriller, as four teams finished within a question of the lead. The Young the Old and the Restless held off Badger Tsunami in the end, 99-97. Philly Hardcore finished with 96, and Dork Sided with 94.
Things were a little tight at the Bards as well, as the Sofa Kingdom erased a 7 point deficit going into the final round to edge Narkotizing Dysfunktion, 100-95. The Western Omelette finished 3rd with 92.
No close calls at the Vous on Wednesday, as a Jams team at full strength blew away the competition with an impressive 111. 1022 finished 2nd with 101.
An old favorite pulled off the win at the Black Sheep, as the WTF defeated Trying is the First Step Towards Failure, 97-90. They did so despite only playing with two players, the Big Bopper and Eisenstein. It was a huge win for this team, which won it’s first JGT quizzo match way back in 2003. The Satan’s Minions went down hard in the “1997: The Year in Music” Round and finsihed with an 85.
Bounty time at the Good Dog on Thursday. The Axis of Evil Knieval came before 7 p.m., and couldn’t sit down because the place was already packed. But the Sofa Kingdom made it on time and edged MAGMA, 93-92, to take home the gift certificate and the extra $20.
Good thing for them that Axis wasn’t allowed in the door. Taking out their frustration at the Bards, the Evil Knievals put on a clinic, knocking off Speak Up Johnny 110-104. The Western Omelette finished 3rd with 92.
By totally sucking, Were Phillies Just Promoting New Movie?
Am I the only one who thinks it’s a little more than coincidence that the Phillies unbelievably miserable opening week performance occurred right before the unveiling of “The Curse of William Penn” at the Philadelphia Film Festival, a movie about how miserable Philly sports teams make their fans? Yeah, I had a feeling that Hollywood liberals were behind the 0-3 start.
Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like it’s 1933
Local bars are touting that tommorrow is the anniversary of Prohibition ending, though I think I’m missing something. I thought Roosevelt ended it on March 23. Can somebody fill me in on what I’m missing here?
Anyways, the War on Alcohol seemed to be about as effective as our current War on Drugs. So the question needs to be raised: should we end the Prohibition on illegal narcotics? Sadly, even mentioning this idea is political suicide, and the simple political answer is just to lock up anybody and everybody, despite it’s remarkable ineffectiveness. (And yes, you may freely post your ideas on this topic w/o me getting snippy.)
RELATED: Joe Sixpack discusses Prohibition in Philadelphia. This is fascinating stuff. Best line in the article? In 1931, A’s fans famously booed President Herbert Hoover during a World Series game at Shibe Park, disrupting the game with their chant of “We want beer!”
The Turk
I posted some questions about hoaxes this week. Here’s another one, a chess playing gadget called the Turk . I didn’t exactly break my back finding this (it’s currently on the front page of wikipedia), but it’s pretty interesting.
Johnny answers the critics
Geez Louise. Only in Philadelphia do you try to do good for the community one minute and then have to answer for it the next. There is apparently a misconception here. Some people seem to think that Big Brothers Big Sisters in Philly is a babysitting service for kids on the Main Line.
“It would seem that the moral here is that if you don’t do drugs…and don’t hang out with violent or criminally inclined people…your chances of getting murdered…are fairly small.” -ee
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you grew up in a place where there weren’t drug dealers on the corner closest to your home. When the majority of the people in your neighborhood do or deal drugs and are violent, it’s a lot easier said than done than to get a young child or teen to “Just Say No.”
“Like the compelling idea of big brothers, but those kids aren’t shooting anybody.” -Anonymous
Again, I don’t think you understand what kids we are trying to help here. Most of these children are at-risk. Part of the point of Big Brothers Big Sisters is to make these kids realize that their problems can’t be solved by shooting somebody. I assure you that there are a lot of children on the BBBS waiting list whose current male “role models” tell them that the way to settle their disputes is by grabbing a gun, or that the only way out of the ghetto is by dealing drugs.
All that seems to matter now is the naked corruption of guys like Fumo—how many street cops would that PECO settlement he got for his fraudulent foundation have paid for? I tend to look at this from a macro view Johnny….I think that is where we need to do things to make a real difference…spending a few hours a week with kids who must live in an environment that makes heroes of criminals is smoothing over the tip of the iceberg. -Jon
It’s hard enough to recruit people to this cause w/o having someone telling them that their efforts will just be “smoothing over the tip of the iceberg.” The macro view is terrific, Jon. Why don’t you make us some bar graphs so we can understand the problem better? And 1,000 more officers would be great too. Could you make that a reality for us?
Joining Big Brothers Big Sisters won’t change the world for everybody. But it will dramatically change the world of the child you are paired with, for the better. It will lessen the chances they fight in school, and will lower the chances they do drugs. It will build their self confidence and make them want to get better grades. It will make them think twice about joining a gang or picking up a gun. If that’s the tip of the iceberg, well then, dammit, let’s smooth it over.
100 Dead 1,000 Short
This past week, the 100th person was murdered in the city of Philadelphia in 2007. Numerous writers made note of the “milestone”. But it seemed that most of them did what I think a lot of people are doing with this problem: find someone to blame. Several writers claimed that using the term “Killadelphia” would wake people up at City Hall, as if we could turn this thing around if the Mayor just came up with a committee of people in suits and ties sitting around a table. I’m not completely belittling their efforts, because I think that it’s important that we keep the heat on City Hall to come up with ideas to deal with the problem. But there is only one group of people in Philadelphia who can really make an impact on the murder rate, and that is the citizenry. As long as we lob grenades at easy targets, nothing will get accomplished. If you want to lower the murder rate in Philadelphia, then it’s up to YOU to do it. Not Mayor Street, not Sylvester Johnson, not the local media. YOU. You have the power to make a MAJOR IMPACT on the future of this city. Now do it.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Bounty on MAGMA
MAGMA has been unstoppable since the Axis of Evil Knieval slipped away from the Good Dog. And their recent success has so emboldened them that Chris R. has even started hosting quizzo at Dirty Frank’s. That’s right, he thinks he can replace the immortal Irish John. Obviously, they need to be stopped, if not for my own good, then for humanity’s. So I’m putting up $20 in cash for any team that can knock them off tonight, in addition to the $30 you would take home for winning.
The Metro column
Here’s the latest in the Goodtimes Files. A couple of notes: First of all, I thought that it was the Sinatra Foutain. I asked the guy who had put the fountain there why they put a Sinatra fountain in Philly. He said, “It’s not a Sinatra Fountain. The songs are from the 40s, but they’re not Sinatra.” Thankfully, he didn’t add, “Way to do your homework, Bernstein.”
Also, when I arrived at the fountain, there was a stunningly beautiful young lady there with her mom. “Sweet!” I thought. “This writing gig is finally gonna pay off!” I asked them about the fountain, and the girl said, “We are from Poland. We don’t speak English.” That’s like the 10th girl this week that has told me that she didn’t speak English when I tried to put the moves on. There must be a convention in town or something.
This Season is Over
Anyone who thinks that the Phils won’t miss the wild card by a goddamm game again this year is kidding themselves. The season is over. And yes, we will look back on opening week and say, “Dagburnit, maybe we’d be in the playoffs if Shane Victorino had listened that day in f****** T-ball practice when the rest of us learned that we don’t f****** steal 3rd with a 2 run lead, 1 out and a left handed hitter at the plate. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT HITTER IS RYAN F****** HOWARD!!!” Nope, apparently Victorino swallowed a ladybug or something and missed practice that day.
Well, I’ve got enough problems with anxiety that I don’t need this horses*** team to me any more riled up. The Phillies are dead to me. Good riddance. I’m going to get a new hobby. Like breakdancing or doing the dishes. I don’t need this b******* for the next 6 months. I don’t need it.
P.S. Don’t even get me started on the goddamm bullpen.