Month: March 2007

Around the Horn

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-A woman in Maryland claims that her dog saved her by performing the heimlich. NBC10 actually covered this liars bulls***. Hey NBC10, last night my cat Malia (above left) jumped in front of a bullet that was headed for my heart and caught it in her mouth. Then she put the shooter in the figure four leglock until the police arrived. You should do a story on that! Also, I like how there is a link at the bottom of this story that says, “How to Perform Heimlich Maneuver.” Which is silly, because most dogs can’t even read English.

-Hopefully Ann Coulter decides to take a summer jaunt to Surf CIty, NJ, this summer AND EXPLODES.

-My main man Denny Blaze (The Average Homeboy) finished 3rd on VH1’s Top 40 Greatest Internet Superstars!

–Was Eddie Griffin’s car crash a publicity stunt?

Un-Freaking-believable! Smackdown leads Barristers Bracket Challenge!

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In what can only be defined as ‘typical”, a person I am currently trying to be angry at is leading the Barristers Bracket Challenge. Smackdown (above), a sworn enemy of mine, is in the lead with 109. Now, I may have to be nice to her, just so I can get a free burger at Barristers if she wins the $250. But it all depends on the final four. If Ohio State beats Florida for the national championship, she wins. If Georgetown beats Florida, then I Hate MAGMA wins. If UCLA beats G-Town, then Representing the MAAC wins. If Ohio State beats UCLA, then I’m Jam and Y’all Toast wins. And if a crazed yeti attacks and kills the 70 people currently ahead of me, I will crowned champion. So it’s really up in the air. Anyways, Smackdown (if that is your real name), I am hereby calling a truce. And if you win, I would like two burgers and 15 Yuenglings. Deal?
RELATED: The current standings of the Barristers Bracket Challenge

What the right wing’s up to

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I haven’t really talked a lot about politics lately. I haven’t needed to, because I could do a post about kittens and within minutes Palestra Jon and EE would be in a heated debate about whether or not kittens support the War in Iraq. But a few things came up this past month that are hard to ignore.

-Rush Limbaugh says that John Edwards made the announcement that his wife has cancer to try to jump start his campaign. Probably in a similar way that Rush uses Oxycontin to jump start his brain.

-Well, at least the leaders of right wing thought aren’t using terms like “faggot” to a room full of appreciative conservatives. Oh wait, never mind. Which raises the questions, “How much longer before Skeletor (above,with prominent adam’s apple) uses a hateful derogatory slur to describe Obama, and will conservatives applaud that as well?”

-Tom Delay says that anybody that thinks that liberals who think he is guilty of the campaign improprieties he was indicted for are akin to Hitler. Which upsets me. I always thought I was more of an Idi Amin type.

RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by bus.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is eaten by wolves.
RELATED: Johnny hopes Ann Coulter is hit by train.
RELATED: Tom Delay hit by meteor.

This is funny

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The box score above, apparently the offical one posted on Yahoo sports last night, was sent in by alert reader Lee. Notice why NBA veteran Robert Horry didn’t play.

Ginger does New York

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In this weeks very special episode, Ginger heads north and lives the good life! -ed.

As I sat at a bar called D.B.A and listened to Carole King sing of “the sweet-tasting good life way over yonder,” I smiled knowing that I didn’t have to go in search of it. I found it this weekend in the tapestry of New York City.

Everytime I go to New York, I try to switch it up. Last summer I spend my city time in Brooklyn and Queens (actually attended an event called the JJQ…where two birthday boys, Jay and Jay cook different amount of meats corresponding to however many years they turned), over Thanksgiving it was wherever my sister and her friends wanted to live out their Sex in the City dreams–enter meat packing district, enter $15 captain and cokes (yet another reason to drink beer!)

During this particular jaunt, beer was the focus, I went in pursuit of ale throughout New York City’s best beer bars.
I headed up with Lance Romance in a snazzy limousine bus courtesy of Tom Peter’s, owner of Monks. We had a caravan headed northward– some of the Monks and Fergie’s bartenders, as well as prolific beer writer Michael Jackson. (Meeting him is the equivalent of getting a baseball signed by Hank Aaron).

Continue reading “Ginger does New York” →

Philly Mag does it again

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The cover story in the this months Philly Mag is about Ryan Howard, which isn’t really journalism but hero worship. But the story that really stuck in my craw is one about two high school basketball players. Decent enough story, but it ends with a couple of the lamest sentences I have ever read:
“It’s a happy story, Scoop and Rick’s. And such a Philly story. It’s just like Rocky, where the good guys win in the end.” (The italics are the magazine’s, not mine).

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! OK, this so bad I don’t know where to begin. A) the schmaltzy “such a Philly story” line is almost unbearable to read B) Can we get through ONE F****** Issue without referencing Rocky? He was a fine reference in 1977, but it’s now 2007, and we’re over it. You don’t hear our friends out in western PA saying, “It’s just like in The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, where the good guys win in the end.” C) If you are going to reference Rocky, uh, I suggest watching Rocky. He doesn’t win in the end! Apollo Creed wins in the end.

If there is a single reference to freaking Rocky in next month’s issue, I will cancel my subscription. That’s right, Philly Mag, $12 a year-POOF-gone just like that. No more freaking Rocky! Please! We are over it!!!

Pics of winners

Lots of famous people celebrating a b-day today. I’m gonna post a pic of last weeks winners and then a trivia question about someone with a b-day today. No looking it up and one guess per person. If you wanna see how things went down last week and see if you could answer last week’s toughest questions, click here.