-A woman in Maryland claims that her dog saved her by performing the heimlich. NBC10 actually covered this liars bulls***. Hey NBC10, last night my cat Malia (above left) jumped in front of a bullet that was headed for my heart and caught it in her mouth. Then she put the shooter in the figure four leglock until the police arrived. You should do a story on that! Also, I like how there is a link at the bottom of this story that says, “How to Perform Heimlich Maneuver.” Which is silly, because most dogs can’t even read English.
-Hopefully Ann Coulter decides to take a summer jaunt to Surf CIty, NJ, this summer AND EXPLODES.
-My main man Denny Blaze (The Average Homeboy) finished 3rd on VH1’s Top 40 Greatest Internet Superstars!