First of all, congratulations to the Evil Miss Lovely, who won last night at Pabst Blue Ribbon Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship. Juan Buenostiempos (Johnny’s unruly cousin from south of the border) went out in the first round, meaning that in the three sanctioned events he has been a part of, he has gone out in the first round each time. He is a pathetic RPS player.
After the match, there was a long, involved conversation about jumpability. Have you heard of this? It’s the theory that somebody seems jumpable, and it is completely different than confident or looks. It’s just this sort of intrinsic vibe that people either give off or they don’t. A vibe that makes people want to jump their bones. Do you have it?
Finally, on a more serious note, I have a bit of a trashcan dilemma, and I need your advice. OK, so last year, this guy who lives next door to me stole my trashcan that I take out to the curb. So I bought a new one. The guy that stole it moved out, but the people who moved in have been using it. Well, last week somebody stole my new trashcan, and now I want my old one back. Can I just take it from them, or has it been grandfathered and is now their’s? Should I leave a note on their door explaining my predicament? Please give me your advice.