This story rules! Alright, 19 year old dude runs for town council under the platform of “Less police officers”. A month after he loses, he robs a bank. He’s caught, then he escapes from the courthouse and disappears in Harrisburg. Let’s take these facts one at a time. First, did he run for city council in the hopes that he would get the police force reduced, and then rob the bank with a 50% less chance of getting caught? If so, this guy is a freaking genius. I guess after the loss, he was like, “Screw it. I’m robbing the bank anyway.” So he does it, gets caught, and then figures out an escape plan, complete with getaway car (getaway cars rule!) And he’s 19 years old? I don’t like to use the phrase wunderkind, but that’s what we may have here. Then he flees to the state capital. Will he try, against all odds, to revive his career there by giving an impassioned address on the capital floor, a la jimmy Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”? Stay tuned!

Alright, peeps, here’s the video I sent into the 10! to get selected. Got to give mad props to my man D-Mac for recording this and making it digital. If you were a little bit on the fence as to whether or not I was a dork, I think this tape should settle that. Enjoy!

Per the last bit for those who don’t know: the previous host of the show, Lauren Hart, left the show for a singing career.

I’m going back to espagnol class after a layoff, so I’m not gonna be posting until the afternoon. In the meantime, enjoy this quote from figure skater Johnny Weird. “I know that a lot of people, especially the more Republican-style people, are very afraid of what I mean to the sport and what I’m going to say, what kind of revolutionary, crazy things are going to come out of my mouth. And good for them. They should be scared.” Revolutionary, huh? Did Che ever dress like a giant chicken?

First the Austrians arrest a man for thinking he had a right to free speech, then the Germans have the nerve to arrest a man who came into the police station with a nearly half-pound bag of weed to complain about the fact that he had bought bad pot. I mean, for the love of God, you can’t even bring a giant bag of shake into a police station and demand that the police stop this schwag seller before he rips off somebody else w/o getting arrested yourself. It’s madness, I tell you. I just hope George Bush puts some pressure on the Germans to let this man go and go after the dealer of the brown frown. Because when you let dirt sellers go free, the terrorists win.

For those of you who missed my appearance on the 10! show a few weeks ago, here is a chance to see the most incredible moment on the show, and one of the most incredible moments in live tv history…when Bill Henley complimented Miss America on her box. There were some other decent moments as well, and I’m hoping to get some video up on this website in the near future.

Jeanne Calment was born on February 21, 1875. When she died, she had the longest confirmed life span of any human being ever. How old was she? (That’s her above, giving the Four Horseman salute).

Don’t know if you’ve seen this story, but it’s pretty big over in Europe right now. A discredited bigot is being sent ot jail for three years for being, well, a bigot. David Irving, a revisionist historian who has tried to paint a brighter side of Nazi Germany, was jailed for three years in Austria for denying that the Holocaust ever happened. Now, while jailing someone for their beliefs would hardly ruffle a feather in say, Nazi Germany, what makes this scary is that it’s happening in Austria. In case you were wondering, Austria is a democracy. Is there any possible argument that this guy deserves jail time for being an idiot? Should people who don’t think that man landed on the moon be imprisoned? I mean, there is overwhelming evidence that it happened, just as there is overwhleming evidence that the Holocaust happened. Should the cartoonist who drew the Mohammed cartoon be imprisoned? After all, his cartoon insulted a lot of people of a major religion, just as Irving did. Of course not. So not only has Austria pulled a fascist style move and jailed a man for his beliefs, but they have also turned a fringe historian who nobody took seriously into a martyr for anti-semites all over the world and given this idiot a platform for his despicable beliefs.

Hey, I’m stealing this one from my man Dan over at Blinq. It’s a website that tells you what song was #1 on the Billboard charts the day you were born. For me, it’s “Fire” by the Ohio Players. I’m kool with that. Dudes had like the hottest album covers ever (OK, besides Herb Albert’s “Whipped Cream”.)

Well, yet another joyous President’s day is before us, and knowing that we have one of the best ever in office right now just sends goosebumps up the spine. But we have to think about the ones who came before him. Let’s start off with a compendium of little known “facts” about each president that are pretty hilarious. Of course it’s important that we honor our fourteen lost presidents today as well, the unfortunate souls who led our country when all we had was those crappy Articles of Confederation (I mean, seriously, who’s brainchild were they?) And let’s not forget my main man, David Rice Atchison (above), prez for a day. Oh, and more importantly, Grey’s Anatomy was really good last night. I think I wrote it off a little too soon. But Desperate Housewives is really getting boring. I mean, seriously, when your entire plotline is about babysitting, it’s time to re-evaluate.