I got word from a pretty good source that Starbucks was handing out coupons out in front of La Colombe earlier. Anybody that passes up La Colombe for that garbage is a moron. One of the things I love about this city the most is that the people really don’t want to see Starbucks and Olive Gardens all over the place. I heartily encourage you not to support chains that are focused on destroying local business (especially when the chain’s product isn’t really that impressive). Then again, my feelings aren’t as pronounced as this guy’s. He really hates Starbucks.

If you haven’t read part 1 yet, click here.

The discussion veered to boxing, with Bernard making a few colorful statements (“They should have prepared for me like the Italians should have prepared for Hannibal.”) He was referring to the boxing establishment, insinuating that they gave many other less educated fighters money, jewels, and cars when they are young, because they knew that such things were going to come back to them when the fighters screw up later, like with Mike Tyson and Sweetpea Whitaker. He was saying that the establishment didn’t give him those things, that he had to earn them over an extended period of time, and by the time he had accumulated them, he was smart enough to hold onto them. He works as his own agent, by the way, and is one of the few boxers that own their own rights. So if he appears in an endorsement, or if he appears on tv, the money goes to him, not to an agent.

Continue reading “The Executioner’s Tale, Volume 2” →

A room full of us at the Black Sheep peered through our fingers as the JetBlue plane landed at LA yesterday with the messed up front tires. We weren’t the only ones watching-they were showing the whole thing on television in the plane! In an effort to spread panic and fear throughout the cabin, apparently, it was decided to show the people who were about to land their fates on TV. Unbelievable. Next time something like that happens, I think they should have the co-pilot dress up like the Grim Reaper and walk thru the cabin. That’s really the only way I can think of to make it more horrifying than showing the freaking thing on TV.

Hey guys, I wrote an article that appears in today’s City Paper. I went to Amityville, PA a few weeks ago to watch the World Quoits Championship, and had a really good time. The photo above is of the Conrad brothers, who are featured in the story. The picture below is of Randy and Michelle, the husband-wife team that was playing.

They met on South Street, their first date was on South Street, so it was only appropriate that he ask her to marry her on (ok, so near) South Street. Brian Garber asked Meghan Fitzgerald, his girlfriend of 4 years, to marry him at O’Neals on Tuesday-via quizzo answers! That’s right. Brian and I had arranged beforehand for the answers to the questions in round 1 to form THE QUESTION. The questions were as follows:

1. During the opening number in The Nightmare Before CHristmas, Jack Skellington is often referred to as this type of king.

2. Your left one of these is located in front of your mid cerebral artery.

3. Though she performs with it as her last name, this former member of the group Hole was born with it as a first name?

***4. Of the five vowels, which one is represented by the fewest tiles in Scrabble?

5. A kids museum in Philadelphia, located on North 21st Street, has a title that begins with an adverb. What is the adverb?

6. In the Greek alphabet, it’s BETA. What is it in English?

7. What were nine men trapped inside of in Somerset, PA in 2002?

8. In the movie Dogma, angels Bartleby and Loki are banished from heaven to live in Wisconsin. How long is their time on earth supposed to last?

9. This musician, whose first name is Matthew, put out a popular rock album in 1991 called Girlfriend.

10. The Detroit Pistons have a player named Tayshaun who regularly destroys the Sixers. What’s his last name?

The answers to those questions? 1. PUMPKIN 2. EYE 3. LOVE 4. U 5. PLEASE 6. B 7. MINE 8.FOREVER 9. SWEET 10. PRINCE.

Brian, who was in charge of writing down answers, gave Johnny a look at the conclusion of the round. That was Johnny’s cue to play “At Last” by Etta James. Brian then walked over to Meghan and said, “This is weird. Look at these answers.” As she was looking at them, a quizzical look came over her face. He then produced the ring, though he wasn’t able to drop to a knee. “I fell down the stairs this weekend and screwed up my back.” Her eyes lit up like Times Square, and in disbelief, she uttered, “Are you f****** kidding me?” That was quickly followed with a “Yes!” and champagne was produced. The crowd at the bar, confused at first, produced a hearty roar when Johnny told them what had happened, and an even heartier roar when he told them that in celebration he was giving everyone a perfect round 1 score. Meghan missed round 2 (The Ford or Chevy round). She was too busy running down South Street, showing off the ring to every single human being she passed.

You’ve never read an interview like this before, because you’ve never met an athlete like Bernard Hopkins before. Whether or not you like boxing, you’ll be interested in hearing this Philadelphian’s story, because it is a tale more incredible, more improbable than that of Philly’s favorite fictional boxer. And it’s more intriguing, because his controversial beliefs are devoid of Hollywood cliches.

Over the last 10 years, as Philadelphians were screaming at the Eagles, cursing the Phillies, and crying over a freaking horse, many were ignoring the champion they had in their own backyard. Philly born and bred, Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins became IBF middleweight champ in 1995. A victory over the favored Felix Trinidad in 2001 made him the undisputed champion, a title he held until July 16th of this year, when he lost an extremely controversial decision to Jermaine Taylor. The rematch is set for December 3rd. It is expected to be Hopkins’ last fight, as he promised his late mother that he would retire before he turned 41, which he does in January of 2006.

But this story begins before his first title, even before his first boxing match. It begins on the rough streets of North Philly, where he grew up. In Part 1 of this interview, Bernard discusses his early years, his five years in the penitentiary (“As great as Oz was on HBO, that was kindergarten compared to what happens in prison for real”), and the realization that he came to in order to turn his life around.

Continue reading “The Executioner’s Tale, Volume 1” →

Apparently maintaining a girlish figure is working against me, as the 76ers are adding a Broad Street Beefcake dance team, but you have to be husky to join. Outlandish! What if you’re like me, not big boned, but an excellent dancer? I could make millions off my moves, but I can’t get my big break because of discrimination. Also, about that “full body photo”: does that mean, like, nude? The following is from Michael Klein’s Inqlings:

The 76ers are adding a male Broad Street Beefcake dance team to the halftime show – but cake is more a factor than beef here. The guys, ages 21 to 40, should be on the chunky side – not fat, but with a belly. No dance experience is required. Heery Casting will lead auditions from 4 to 6 p.m. Saturday at Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, 4190 City Ave. Prospects should arrive by 3:30 p.m. with a full-body photo. Info: www.sixers.com or Heerycasting@gmail.com.

I’m givin’ you’se guys
Three days to write masterpiece
Then we gon’ decide

In other words, haiku contest ends Friday at high noon. Also, congrats to Deric, who rocked the house in the best angry letter to the editor contest, and won $50 in cash.

What band, despite having no good looking members (see photo, above) was the first ever to have four consecutive triple platinum albums?

I don’t know who saw the Phillies win on Saturday, but anyone who did knows that it was the kind of win that just never happens to the Phils. While the Phil’s phailures have been phrequently phound on this website, Johnny Goodtimes was ecstatic as the Florida Marlins completely melted down in a 10-2 win by our beloved Phils. As the Marlins committed error after error in the 10 run ninth inning, I leapt higher and higher into the air, celebrating the improbable win. It was the Phils seventh win in their last nine games, and I was becoming a believer. I wanted to talk about our big win with fellow sports fans, celebrate what may have been the biggest win for the Phils since ’93 (which is really kind of sad indictment of how bad we’ve been since ’93). So I turned on WIP and gave them a call. Mistake.

Continue reading “WIP: We Insult Phillies” →