Whose assassination, ordered by King Ptolemy, was carried out in late September, 48 BC?

I shoulda believed the hype. You’re a bunch of bums.

To read part one click here. TO read part two, click here.
The interview picks up where we left it last time, talking about whether or not a black person would ever root for a white underdog. As many of you know, Bernard made some disparaging comments about Donovan McNabb in February after the Eagles lost the Super Bowl.

“I’m disappointed at how he reacted the last minutes of the game, just walking up to the line. If you’re sick, take yourself out and put in the man on the sideline…T.O., he was playing with a broken leg. I mean, come on, man. I had a dislocated shoulder when I fought Antwun Echols and he slammed me down in our second fight. But I kept fighting.”

McNabb was unruffled. “You know, in a situation like this, if it’s T.O. or Bernard Hopkins, if it’s whoever may decide to take shots, the whole offseaon, the best way to handle it is to be yourself and being able to understand what is at hand. What’s at hand is for me to be prepared and ready to go to lead this team to a Super Bowl win.” Apparently not a McNabb fan, Bernard doesn’t hold back in this one either.

Continue reading “The Executioner’s Tale, Volume 3” →

Just want to warn everyone playing quizzo this week. I wore the same Phillies shirt on Friday and Sunday, both wins. I will be wearing it again tonight to the game. If they win tonight, I will obviously be wearing it until they lose. There will be no washing of the shirt until we lose. It’s the least I can do to help get my team to the playoffs.

On Friday night, I did my finger thing, which originated when I was young and rooting for a team that was losing by three in the tenth inning. I crossed my arms and rubbed my thumb and middle finger together consistently. My team hit a grand slam in the tenth. I’ve been using it in very important games ever since, and it paid off for the Phils on Friday. Of course, it’s not the kind of thing you take lightly. I would never do the finger thing during games in May or June. I did it last year in October, however, and helped the Red Sox defeat the hated New york Yankees. I didn’t feel like they needed it in the World Series, though, so I didn’t dilute it’s powers. I’ll be trying to do the same this year with the Phils. Women who are reading this are thinking, “See, this proves that men are completely out of their minds.” Men who are reading it are thinking, “Does the finger thing work in football games, too?” Here’s a good article on baseball superstition.

Boy, narrowing down the haikus to the best one’s was awfully tough, because there were so many really, really awful haikus. But here’s the one’s I liked best. Vote for ’em on the right.

The Funk:
Purple, orange, blue
Colors bring calm. Then, panic:
Doc, check out this rash

Darth Voolfie:
Saturday night smooth
Chattin’ up babes at the club
spankin’ it again

Jim F.:
Shiver me timbers,
Pirate life is blessed indeed.
Where’s my parrot now?

Nate:
Oh iPod nano…
I always kiss you goodnight.
I need a girlfriend.

Eric: (one of Miranda’s students)
I don’t want to write.
Mondays make me real tired.
Saturday’s the best.

Leigh Anne:
Philadelphia:
The City of Brotherly
Love Handles: eat up!

Jon:
George W. Bush
Mission Accomplished? Yeah, right.
Where is Osama?

Darth Ern:
What’s a Liberal?
whine,whine,whine,whine,whine,whine,whine!
That’s a Liberal!

Here’s acollection of some of the worst baseball cards ever. Thanks to Chip for sending this in. Here’s some more good ones I found while cruising the web this morning. In the really, really stupid department, a news story about a cookbook based on Leonardo da Vinci’s “Golden Ratio” a mathematical value that was used to build the pyramids and has since been found to exist most everywhere in nature. Thanks to Tessa for sending this in. I’m thinking about writing a cookbook based on the Pythagorean theorem. Actually, I just said that so I can once again offer one of my favorite quotes ever, proffered by the Big Socrates himself, Shaq: “My game is like the Pythagorean theorem. Nobody can figure it out.”

People are starting to worry about Goodtimes, as he went to Oktoberfest yesterday, and got housed by German beer. He was drinking water by 9:30 p.m. “Germans aren’t the brightest,” said Goodtimes. “They spelled October wrong, and they held the freaking thing in September. Duh.” Then he went to that found thing at Fergies. It was pretty funny. Also just randomly happened to be sharing a table with one of his favorite bloggers in Philly, D-Mac of philadelphiawilldo.com.

Are you kidding me?!! Are you f****** kidding me?!! David Bell??!! David F****** Bell??!! I was so wrong about you!!! All hail David Bell!! Hurrah!!! Hurrah!!!

Great job by Frank Fitzpatrick in today’s Inquirer summing up what I was trying to say so clumsily last weekend on WIP.

Hey people, I’m having a sidewalk sale tommorrow, starting at 10 am. There’s a big one going on like a block over, so i figured i’d go leech-style and have one, too. gonna be cooking hot dogs and hamburgers too, so swing by, if only to grab a burger and play it kool. and yeah, the tv’ll be outside, so we can watch some football. the crib is located at 723 South 19th Street (between bainbridge and fitzwater). we’ll be kicking it from like 10-4.