Philly Most Depressed CIty in Country

It is on this cold, rainy Monday that I come to bring you the bad news: We are absolutely miserable. We were voted by Men’s Health (the same clowns who voted us second fattest) to be the most depressed city in America. By the way, after doing a little research, I found that Laredo, Texas, voted Least Depressed, also ranked third in Dumbest Cities in America. I’d rather be smart and miserable than stupid and happy. I would write more, but I just don’t feel like it. This survey has made me too depressed.