It’s vital for our president to have these town hall forums, because it gives all Americans a chance to debate important issues, as long as they agree with EVERY one of his policies. Also, if you’re driving in Florida, beware of crazed Democrats.

I have combed through all of those porn titles and come up with the best 25, because there are some dandies, but the list is kind of long. Just click below for the best ones. That’s a palm tree in the photo, by the way.

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I got this email this morning: Johnny Cash… Dead. Johnny Carson… Dead. Johnnie Cochran…Dead. It is only a matter of time, Goodtimes.

A fraternity at California State University is in big trouble because they let a professional adult film maker shoot a hardcore porn during a toga party. Also, check out Pimp Daddy Swank’s list of Great porn movie titles. There are some real gems, such as “Ben-Hur Over”, “A League of Their Moan”, and “Das Booty.”

In a devastasting blow to Johnny’s Quizzo Empire, he is now facing heat from former “Survivor” contestant Gervase, who will be hosting Reality Show Quizzo at Finn McCool’s (12th and Sansom) on Wednesday. (By the way, you can see Johnny at Finn’s every Monday at 10 p.m., hosting comedy open mic.) Also, MJ from Real World said that he hates Philly, which leads to an argument I had with a friend of mine a while back: should Philly have treated the Real World cast like the whiny glory hogs they are, or should we have treated them well, so young people would want to move to the city? He said that the city needs young people, and that by confirming our reputation as a bunch of rude degenerates, we were going to keep them away. I said that anybody who wants to move to Philly because MJ lived here should be stabbed in the neck with a pencil, and I’d rather not have them here. What do you think?

It is on this cold, rainy Monday that I come to bring you the bad news: We are absolutely miserable. We were voted by Men’s Health (the same clowns who voted us second fattest) to be the most depressed city in America. By the way, after doing a little research, I found that Laredo, Texas, voted Least Depressed, also ranked third in Dumbest Cities in America. I’d rather be smart and miserable than stupid and happy. I would write more, but I just don’t feel like it. This survey has made me too depressed.

Known as the “Girl With the Curl” and “America’s Sweetheart”, this actress was the first female to ever make more than a million dollars a year acting.

Watching the game on a TV in the press area, the coach of the Carolina cheerleading squad remarked off the cuff to a group of reporters, “I’d root for Iraq against Duke.” -espn.com

This game has properties similar to crack. It’s a game we used to play on the pet computers at my elementary school: Lemonade Stand.