Beware My Wrath!!! by Bobby Badtimes

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Does anyone really give a s*** about Saturn’s moon? I mean, seriously. We can’t afford to lower class sizes, we can’t afford to adequately protect our troops in Iraq, but we can afford to help the Europeans send a spaceship to Saturn’s moon? And oooh, aren’t those pictures pretty! Almost like grey mud! I say, no more money for this stupid space exploration unless we go somewhere where we will definitely find aliens.

How come I gotta watch ESPN talk for hours about how Randy Moss has no class, then the first commercial I see after that on ESPN is for a video game in which you shoot helicopters out of the sky and which says “Blow the snot out of the enemy”? And Joe Buck, your “What a disgusting display” rampage against Randy Moss was so annoying. You know what’s a disgusting display, Joe? Your hairdo.
Hey celebrities, do you know what charity is? It’s dedicating your time, money, etc. to a cause you believe in out of the goodness of your heart, not so your publicist can get your washed up ass back in the news (helloooooo, Sandra Bullock.)
Does Johnny really think that belly dancers are gonna bring in the crowds to Quizzo Bowl? Hey, Goodtimes, belly dancers are a tease. I’ll be a no-show unless, for my ten dollars, I get a prostitute. Preferably from Pompeii.
Hey Malia (my cat), quit rifling through the garbage. We’ve had several long talks about this, but I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you. Your brother doesn’t feel the need to pull this s***, why do you?
My name is Bobby Badtimes, I hope your weekend blows.