Ok, gang, sorry I haven?t written in a while, but things have been hectic, and I still haven?t had a day off since I got here. The job has been kool. I went from Puerto Aventuras (near Playa del Carmen) to Isla Mujeres, or “Island of the Women”. There are a couple of rumors as to how it got that name. One is that there were various statues of the goddess Ixchel around the island when it was stumbled upon by Spanish explorer Francisco Cordova in 1517. Another is that there were only women in town when Cordaova?s crew landed, since the men were all out fishing. Anyway, it was no “Island of Women” for me. Actually, I was staying in Cancun for the whole week. After my night on the town with H20, I never returned to the hotel district. I mostly hit local spots, had a coupel of cervezas, adn mellowed out. The sun wears me out, and I just couldn?t muster up the energy to get out for a night of dancing. Did make it to a place called Mextreme once, where a friend of mine plays in the house band. I was out with a very cute Mexican girl, and it was pretty fun. I ended up getting on stage and doing “Rappers Delight”, and the crowd went nuts. I can rap my ass off. Sadly, it didn?t really impress Mexican girl as much as it did the rest of the crowd. Other than that, I didn?t do much. I had to speak at a meeting with the company?s executives yesterday, and I went over like a lead balloon. I don?t know if my humor was lost in translation or if (and this can?t be it) I?m just not funny. Anyway, I caught the boat to Cozumel last night, and I will be here for a week. This is the same place I was in April, so I already know a bunch of the staff, including an incredibly cute girl who works in the office. She met me last night when I got off the boat and we went out for dinner at a Cajun restaurant and watched the Olympics. I haven?t really been able to keep up on TV. I didn?t have a tv at the first place i stayed, and my buddy Drew did not have cable. But I?ve been checking ESPN.com enough to know that the Phillies are totally choking. Well, I gotta get to work. Hope all is well in Philly. The tacos are good, but I can?t wait to eat a cheesesteak.
Month: August 2004
Story of the Day
Looking for a deal on a casket? Look no further than your local Costco. Two Costco stores are now offering six models of caskets manufactured by Universal Casket. No truth to the rumor that you have to purchase the caskets in bulk.
Story of the Day
Now you can booze it up without even drinking. Sure to be a favorite of the low-carb group, the catchily titled Alcohol without Liquid Machine gives users the opportunity to inhale an alcohol vapor that leads to “a sense of well-being” and doesn’t produce hangovers.
Story of the Day
Black Bear shuns Busch, thinks global, drinks local. A black bear was found sleeping off a drinking binge in a state park in Washington state. The bear broke into a camper’s cooler and after trying out some Busch beer settled on local brewer Rainier, polishing off 36 cans before deciding to take a nap.
Story of the Day
Oh Craps
Twin Trouble
The headlines could go on forever. The Modesto Bee reports two football playing brothers at the University of Nevada were arrested on unrelated charges last week. Rodney was arrested for bank robbery, and later confessed to three others. Good brother Randy, was only charged with burglary and forging checks. Rodney who had turned to bank robbery after racking up large debts gambling was philosophical about the arrest, “With craps, you have a 50-50 chance of coming away with money ? like robbing a bank.”
Story of the day
Choke Artist Latrell Sprewell does more than just attack coaches, he’s an inventor too! Not only is he credited with coming up with those spinning rims that we’ve all added to our Escalades, but now he’s brought the same technology to athletic shoes. Pre-order yours today.
Story of the day
Is your name hot or not? An MIT cognitive scientist posted pictures to HotOrNot.com with different names to see which names got better rankings. For boys, vowels pronounced with the front of the mouth scored higher. The oposite is true of women, fuller names like Laura score higher than those with smaller vowel sounds.
Johnny Moves on to isla mujeres
After a week spent in Puera Aventuras near Playa del Carmen, Johnny moved the operation to Isla Mujeres on Saturday, and I am currently housed at my buddy Drew’s house in Cancun. Drew and I used to work together back in the day at Dolphin Quest in Hawaii, so it’s been fun hanging out. The dolphin programs are insane. When I worked at DQ, the most guests any one trainer would bring into the water with them at one time was five. Here in Mexico, it’s twenty. And these trainers have to operate with two dolphins at a time, as opposed to one for me. In addition, they have eight sessions a day. Oh, and the trainers usually have one day off a week. The workload here is amazing, but these guys hardly ever complain. The staff at both places is unbelievably friendly. As for the dating situation, I actually had another date with the hot twenty year old (Let’s just call her H20). It was pretty great. Went to Senior Frog’s, and then landed at a place called Slices, where I ended up dancing with five mexican girls and partying until 3:30 a.m. with H20. So it was awesome, but I paid dearly when I had to go to a new facility the next morning and make a good first impression with like 40 people. Oh well. Anyways, things are good, but we might be getting a hurricane on Thursday night, which would be intense. Stay tuned.
Website of the Day
OK, what’s weirder? That there really is a product called Mecca Cola, or that there are counterfeits of it. We at johnnygoodtimes.com cannot decide either, but are sure profits will skyrocket with copy like this:
“One of the perversions of capitalism lies in the generation within oneself of the most brutal and the most inhumane part of oneself.”
Johnny has hot date
In the most startling news to hit Philly in quite some time, it was discovered that local quizmaster Johnny G. had a date on Wednesday night with a HOT 20 year old. ?Yeah, we went to Senor Frog?s and the Blue Parrot in Playa del Carmen, and she didn?t even leave me for some young, shirtless meathead, which is what I kind of expect in those types of situations,” said Johnny. Goodtimes went on to add that on the taxi ride home, the taxi driver (whose wife rode in the front seat) played a collection of some of the worst 80’s music ever recorded, including the Karate Kid Love Song and the Top Gun love song.