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After a wonderful week spent with a lovely American girl, Johnny got greedy and spent the next two weeks going out with Mexican women, all to no avail. “I don’t know what the hell happened,” says Johnny, “But it was a disaster. One girl got mad when I tried to kiss her, one girl stood me up, and and with one girl, I think it was just a matter of miscommunication, and we only went out once.” Johnny refused to talk any more about this so called “miscommunication”. As for the job, the last week was a bit stressful, as the staff and the animals at the final facility were overworked. Johnny’s Spanish improved quite a bit during the time there, but apparently not enough. “I didn’t take any days off, but I did get to go scuba diving in a pretty kool underwater cave,” said Goodtimes. Other than that, Johnny’s week at Cozumel was rather quiet. “I went out with this one Mexican girl twice, and we were supposed to go out again on Friday night, but she stood me up.” When asked if maybe he was a bad kisser, and that was part of the problem, Johnny responded, “I’m not sure. I’ve never kissed myself. Well, there was that one time, but that was an accident.” Johnny returns to action at O’Neals and The Bards tonight.
Month: August 2004
question of the week
In what book would you have found Death Larsen at the helm of the Macedonia?
Story of the Day
Thirsty Dad Allegedly Starts ‘Brew-Haha’
A man has been arrested on charges of beating his son when the boy refused to turn over his video game system so it could be pawned for beer money.
These are the kinds of things that happen when you’re stupid and can’t earn beer money through quizzo.
Story of the Day
Nature Calls
Being 19 and criminally charged for taking a big dump and clogging a toilet- $500. Reading an article trying to explain it all? Priceless.
Story of the Day
Bride, Once Boring, Now Known As Bland (AP)
If going from the sublime to the ridiculous is not your idea of a good time, how about the bride who made the switch from Boring to Bland? While it might not sound very exciting, she and the man she was marrying managed to catch the attention of television talk show host talk Jay Leno even before they tied the knot.
This Week’s Sign of the Apocolypse
Talking Pizzas – The New Advertising Medium for Super Bowl?
Newly invented, unique, hand held food embossing (imprinting) tools are expected to create lasting gourmet impressions for consumers and new revenue streams for advertisers. Interactive Super Bowl advertising of embossed team logos and messages would be fun and quite effective. The cost would be a fraction of traditional advertising mediums (like TV commercials) and would be a mega hit, lasting indefinitely instead of minutes.
“Fun and effective”, that’s what the press release says, more likely a sign of the apocolypse. More fun at the company’s web site.
Story of the Day
Looking for something to do this weekend? How about a road trip to Washington DC to check out the National Rock Paper Scissors Championship.
Question of the week
Before 9/11 the worst disaster in New York City occurred in 1904, and it caused the death of over 1,000 people. What happened?
What Johnny?s been up to
Ok, gang, sorry I haven?t written in a while, but things have been hectic, and I still haven?t had a day off since I got here. The job has been kool. I went from Puerto Aventuras (near Playa del Carmen) to Isla Mujeres, or “Island of the Women”. There are a couple of rumors as to how it got that name. One is that there were various statues of the goddess Ixchel around the island when it was stumbled upon by Spanish explorer Francisco Cordova in 1517. Another is that there were only women in town when Cordaova?s crew landed, since the men were all out fishing. Anyway, it was no “Island of Women” for me. Actually, I was staying in Cancun for the whole week. After my night on the town with H20, I never returned to the hotel district. I mostly hit local spots, had a coupel of cervezas, adn mellowed out. The sun wears me out, and I just couldn?t muster up the energy to get out for a night of dancing. Did make it to a place called Mextreme once, where a friend of mine plays in the house band. I was out with a very cute Mexican girl, and it was pretty fun. I ended up getting on stage and doing “Rappers Delight”, and the crowd went nuts. I can rap my ass off. Sadly, it didn?t really impress Mexican girl as much as it did the rest of the crowd. Other than that, I didn?t do much. I had to speak at a meeting with the company?s executives yesterday, and I went over like a lead balloon. I don?t know if my humor was lost in translation or if (and this can?t be it) I?m just not funny. Anyway, I caught the boat to Cozumel last night, and I will be here for a week. This is the same place I was in April, so I already know a bunch of the staff, including an incredibly cute girl who works in the office. She met me last night when I got off the boat and we went out for dinner at a Cajun restaurant and watched the Olympics. I haven?t really been able to keep up on TV. I didn?t have a tv at the first place i stayed, and my buddy Drew did not have cable. But I?ve been checking ESPN.com enough to know that the Phillies are totally choking. Well, I gotta get to work. Hope all is well in Philly. The tacos are good, but I can?t wait to eat a cheesesteak.
What Johnny?s been up to
Ok, gang, sorry I haven?t written in a while, but things have been hectic, and I still haven?t had a day off since I got here. The job has been kool. I went from Puerto Aventuras (near Playa del Carmen) to Isla Mujeres, or “Island of the Women”. There are a couple of rumors as to how it got that name. One is that there were various statues of the goddess Ixchel around the island when it was stumbled upon by Spanish explorer Francisco Cordova in 1517. Another is that there were only women in town when Cordaova?s crew landed, since the men were all out fishing. Anyway, it was no “Island of Women” for me. Actually, I was staying in Cancun for the whole week. After my night on the town with H20, I never returned to the hotel district. I mostly hit local spots, had a coupel of cervezas, adn mellowed out. The sun wears me out, and I just couldn?t muster up the energy to get out for a night of dancing. Did make it to a place called Mextreme once, where a friend of mine plays in the house band. I was out with a very cute Mexican girl, and it was pretty fun. I ended up getting on stage and doing “Rappers Delight”, and the crowd went nuts. I can rap my ass off. Sadly, it didn?t really impress Mexican girl as much as it did the rest of the crowd. Other than that, I didn?t do much. I had to speak at a meeting with the company?s executives yesterday, and I went over like a lead balloon. I don?t know if my humor was lost in translation or if (and this can?t be it) I?m just not funny. Anyway, I caught the boat to Cozumel last night, and I will be here for a week. This is the same place I was in April, so I already know a bunch of the staff, including an incredibly cute girl who works in the office. She met me last night when I got off the boat and we went out for dinner at a Cajun restaurant and watched the Olympics. I haven?t really been able to keep up on TV. I didn?t have a tv at the first place i stayed, and my buddy Drew did not have cable. But I?ve been checking ESPN.com enough to know that the Phillies are totally choking. Well, I gotta get to work. Hope all is well in Philly. The tacos are good, but I can?t wait to eat a cheesesteak.