Johnny Saved by Sea Lion

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After overdosing on tequila on Sunday, Johnny was rescued by a sea lion, who gave him life saving CPR. The sea lion, named Daisy, saw the prone Goodtimes on the side of the street in Mexico, and immediately rushed to his aid. Critics were skeptical. “Come on,” said Juan Carlos Tortilla. “We all know that Goodtimes has had absolutely no success hooking up with Mexican girls since he got here. So when he saw this sea lion walking down the street, he realized it was probably his best chance of getting a kiss while on vacation.” Johnny responded, “That’s entirely probably not true.”

In other news: Two days until showtime. There is a big cruise coming here on Wednesday and there’s going to be a packed house. So they want to have the new sea lion show done by then. That means I will need to have written the script and the trainers will have to have memorized their lines in 8 days. I really don’t know if it is possible, but I guess we’re going to try. Also, these 2 for 1 marguarita deals rule.