Big Sticks Spell V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

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The Big Sticks were able to win at Nick’s on Wednesday. “That’s garbage,” said Bill Badaz of the third place team. “They knew that the second round was going to be spelling. Why else would they bring that Tidmarsh kid?” Indeed, the rest of the team left before the photo was taken, but the spelling bee champ had a couple of cold ones, then received the first place trophy from Joe.

Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions of JGT

  1. What is quizzo?
    Quizzo is a bar game that seems to have originated in Ireland and made it’s way here to Philadelphia. There are different versions of it at different bars. Here’s the way mine works:

    • There are four rounds, with ten questions in each round.
    • The first round is the easy round. All of the questions are relatively easy and are worth one point apiece.
    • The second round is the 50/50 round or speed round. Each question only has two possible answers and each question is worth two points apiece.
    • The third round is the wild card round. There is a different topic each week and each question is worth three apiece.
    • The fourth round is the impossible round. Each question is worth 5 points apiece.
    • There are weekly double questions in rounds 1, 2, and 4, so the highest possible score would be a 119.
  2. Has there ever been a perfect score?
    Yes, there have been two perfect score in JGT quizzo sinee i began in 2003. One was recorded by the Sofa Kingdom in 2005. The other was recorded by the Narcotyzing Dysfunktion in September of 2008. Both perfect scores took place at the Bards, long renowned as a pitcher’s ballpark.
  3. Is your real name Johnny Goodtimes?
    Yes. Johnny Wood Goodtimes, IV, to be precise.
  4. How long have you been doing this?
    I started at Nick’s Roast Beef in 2003. When I started I was doing a sports quizzo as sort of a hobby. I’ve been doing it full time since March of 2004.
  5. Have any of the answers to your questions ever been wrong?
    No, Johnny Goodtimes is infallible.
  6. What do I get for winning?
     A gift certificate to the bar and, more importantly, the glory that comes with a photo on the website.
  7. Are you as sexy as you look on the website?
    I’m even sexier in person. I was recently voted “Philadelphia’s Sexiest Bachelor.”
  8. By who?
    Myself.
  9. Oh. Hey, did you really train dolphins?
    Yes, I worked for Dolphin Quest in Hawaii from 1998-2000.
  10. Why would you move here from Hawaii?
    Because I’m a moron.
  11. Do you do parties?
    Yes, Johnny will liven up any office event, private party, wedding, or soccer riot with a special quizzo for the occasion. For more info, click here.
  12. Is heroin really bad for you?
    No, that’s a lie they teach you in school. Heroine is, however, a gateway drug that could eventually lead you down a trail of coffee drinking and glue sniffing.

Gallows Humor

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A few last words from men about to be executed.

Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.
Executed in electric chair in New York.~~ George Appel, d. 1928

You sons of bitches. Give my love to Mother.
Executed in electric chair.~~ Francis “Two Gun” Crowley, d. 1931

How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma.~~ James French, d. 1966

I’d rather be fishing.
Executed in electric chair, Louisiana.
~~ Jimmy Glass, d. June 12, 1987

I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.
Executed by injection, Oklahoma.
~~ Thomas J. Grasso, d. March 20, 1995