Story of the Day

Oh Craps
Twin Trouble
The headlines could go on forever. The Modesto Bee reports two football playing brothers at the University of Nevada were arrested on unrelated charges last week. Rodney was arrested for bank robbery, and later confessed to three others. Good brother Randy, was only charged with burglary and forging checks. Rodney who had turned to bank robbery after racking up large debts gambling was philosophical about the arrest, “With craps, you have a 50-50 chance of coming away with money ? like robbing a bank.”

Story of the day

Is your name hot or not? An MIT cognitive scientist posted pictures to HotOrNot.com with different names to see which names got better rankings. For boys, vowels pronounced with the front of the mouth scored higher. The oposite is true of women, fuller names like Laura score higher than those with smaller vowel sounds.

Johnny Moves on to isla mujeres

After a week spent in Puera Aventuras near Playa del Carmen, Johnny moved the operation to Isla Mujeres on Saturday, and I am currently housed at my buddy Drew’s house in Cancun. Drew and I used to work together back in the day at Dolphin Quest in Hawaii, so it’s been fun hanging out. The dolphin programs are insane. When I worked at DQ, the most guests any one trainer would bring into the water with them at one time was five. Here in Mexico, it’s twenty. And these trainers have to operate with two dolphins at a time, as opposed to one for me. In addition, they have eight sessions a day. Oh, and the trainers usually have one day off a week. The workload here is amazing, but these guys hardly ever complain. The staff at both places is unbelievably friendly. As for the dating situation, I actually had another date with the hot twenty year old (Let’s just call her H20). It was pretty great. Went to Senior Frog’s, and then landed at a place called Slices, where I ended up dancing with five mexican girls and partying until 3:30 a.m. with H20. So it was awesome, but I paid dearly when I had to go to a new facility the next morning and make a good first impression with like 40 people. Oh well. Anyways, things are good, but we might be getting a hurricane on Thursday night, which would be intense. Stay tuned.

Website of the Day

OK, what’s weirder? That there really is a product called Mecca Cola, or that there are counterfeits of it. We at johnnygoodtimes.com cannot decide either, but are sure profits will skyrocket with copy like this:
“One of the perversions of capitalism lies in the generation within oneself of the most brutal and the most inhumane part of oneself.”

Johnny has hot date

In the most startling news to hit Philly in quite some time, it was discovered that local quizmaster Johnny G. had a date on Wednesday night with a HOT 20 year old. ?Yeah, we went to Senor Frog?s and the Blue Parrot in Playa del Carmen, and she didn?t even leave me for some young, shirtless meathead, which is what I kind of expect in those types of situations,” said Johnny. Goodtimes went on to add that on the taxi ride home, the taxi driver (whose wife rode in the front seat) played a collection of some of the worst 80’s music ever recorded, including the Karate Kid Love Song and the Top Gun love song.