No offense, but…

I think I told you about the quizzo meetup group a couple of weeks ago. Well, this one guy joined and included in his bio , “Haven’t played much in Philly, but was city-wide champ in Atlanta.” What, city wide quizzo champ in Atlanta? That’s like saying, “Yeah, I play basketball for the Hawks. We’re the city wide champs of Atlanta.” Sorry, but I got about as much respect for Atlanta quizzo as I do for an Atlanta cheesesteak.

Fly Eagles Fly On Road to Victory

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Fly Eagles Fly were able to soar past the competition at Doc Watson’s on Monday. Uh, ok, so it was last Monday, the 24th. (They totally choked last night. More on that later.) But the thrill of victory was short lived. Payday Brickowski (left), whose torrid affair with Eagle cheerleader Mikki has been well documented, was devastated soon after the contest when he found out that Mikki had been cheating on him-with Yanni!!!
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There’s Johnny edges Sofa Kingdom for the title

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There’s Johnny proved to know more useless knowledge than anyone else in Philadelphia, edging out the Sofa Kingdom and knocking off 41 other teams at a packed World Cafe Live on Sunday night. The Johnnies had to overcome a five point deficit heading into the final round to edge the Kingdom (below), 141-136.
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Johnny Goodtimes, whose hair looked absolutely terrific, emceed the event, which also featured performances from the Man In Black, bellydancer Najia (Ern’s highlight of the evening), and Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers (below). Rosemary Fiki kicked off the Quizzo Bowl with a stirring rendition of “God Bless America”.
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The Count of Monte Quizzo (below) finished third with a score of 131. There were 15 questions per round instead of the usual 10, thus the high scores. A perfect score would have been a 174. Heff Called, He Wants His Jacket Back won best team name, while Los Nachorinas won a free bottle of really bad champagne for finishing with the worst score, a 76.
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Schedule Set for Quizzo Bowl

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Alright, gang, here’s the lineup for the big show tommorrow:
6:00 p.m. Doors Open
6:15 p.m. Man in Black takes the stage
6:50 p.m. Nate Wiley and the Crowd Pleasers play
7:20 p.m. Johnny takes the stage
7:30 p.m. Quizzo Bowl I begins
8:30 p.m. Halftime Bellydancer
10:30 p.m. Announce winners

King Snob of New England Disses Philly

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Mitt Romney, whose name is Mitt Romney, is the governor of Massachussetts (That’s him, pictured above). When our fearless leader Ed Rendell offered him a bet, lobster vs. cheesesteaks, Mitt refused because cheesesteaks aren’t healthy. What? Being from Massachussettes, where eating a cheesesteak and holding a newborn baby require the same amount of delicacy (see Kerry, John), Mitt was obviously scared Mitt (I won’t be using the pronoun ‘he’ at all in this story)would come off as big of a pansy as Kerry did. Or, being a New England snob, Mitt probably won’t eat anything that doesn’t come with bibs or in chowdah form. Also, I’d like to remind our readers, his name is Mitt Romney! Now of course this would have been a non-issue if Mitt was confident the Patriots would win, b/c he wouldn’t have to eat said cheesesteak. But since Mitt (that’s his name) plans on crying on Ben Affleck’s shoulder on the night of the Super Bowl, Mitt thought Mitt better offer up something else.