Thanks to Jason for sending this in. THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST
ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and sugar is sweet, and
so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, The sugar
bowl is empty and so your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your most ugly face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe “Go To Hell.”
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.