Yo peeps. I did a story about curling that appears in this week’s edition of the City Paper. If you’re too lazy to run out and pick up a copy, you can read it here.

Have you guys seen the fruitcake lady? If not, I highly recommend you watch this (it’s sort of PG-13 in the language dept., so I guess it depends on where you work as to whether or not it’s safe). Thanks to Hope for sending it in.

Members of whose gang were shot and killed in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre?

Reading the worst love poem ever written.

Johnny is looking to play only the saddest breakup songs and worst love songs of all time at quizzo, and he needs your help! Please submit the best of the worst you wanna hear. Every woman who plays quizzo this week will have at least one Valentine this year, as Johnny will be giving away Valentine’s to all female players (and Apollo Anton Ohno, if he shows up. What, I can’t appreciate another man’s hair?). Here’s a site with angry letters from people who hate Valentine’s day.

Well, the stupidest holiday in the history of the freaking world is almost here (Bobby Badtimes will have more on that topic tommorrow), and you’re probably wondering what to do about it, because you can’t just sit home and watch tv, b/c the tube is just going to be filled with commercials about diamonds that make you get all teary eyed and yet furious at the same time. You know what you need? Booze. Lots and lots of booze. Fortunately, there are some great booze themed events going on in the next couple of days. First of all, the PSPCA is having a Puppy Love Party tonight at the Devil’s Alley (19th and Chestnut). Tix are $35 but that pays for all your booze and hors d’ouvres. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Johnny, the last time I went to a party near Rittenhouse where I spent a flat fee for food and booze, I ended up throwing bottles at the wall and stealing artwork.” Well, gang, that won’t be happening tonight, and the proceeds go towards helping the animals. Oh, and there are supposedly going to be Philadelphia Eagle cheerleaders there. After that, you can head over to the Walnut Room (1709, uh, Walnut) to check out Wang Newton at 10 p.m., who promises to be your valentine. Now for Valentine’s Day itself. First of all, it’s going to be a Valentine’s Day Sucks Quizzo spectacular (which we will be extending all week). Johnny will be playing the saddest and worst love songs ever between rounds, and he needs your help. Please let him know what your favorite breakup songs and the worst love songs ever are and he will play them. Finally, what could be better than staring at your beer, on the verge of tears, wondering why that Eagle cheerleader wouldn’t give you her number last night, and at the same time listening to Johnny Freaking Cash live! Well, that’s impossible, because Johnny Cash is dead, but damn if David Stone doesn’t do a fine impersonation of him. And he’s gonna be rocking at Barrister’s Bar and Grille (1823 Sansom Street) starting at 10 p.m. on V-Day.

A crowd of 80 made the trek to the Franklin Institute to participate in the first ever quizzo at the Fels Planetarium, and if they had half as much fun as I did, they came away pretty pleased. The Sofa Kingdom (below), despite having to split the team up, came away with the victory at the science themed event, but it was probably the between round action that was most exciting. The wild images displayed on the roof between rounds was sweet, and having the stars on the ceiling as we did the round on Astronomy was pretty incredible. All in all, one of the funnest nights of quizzo I’ve ever hosted. I really hope to do another one there sometime. Thanks to everybody who made it out!

Hey gang, just a last reminder that you can check out a little science quizzo and some wacky special effects at the Fels Planetarium tonight at 9 p.m.. Should be a lot of fun, and again, the answer is yes, they do have a bar. If you do wanna just play quizzo, then just tell them you are there for secret cinema and you can get tix for $3, which gets you access to both quizzo and secret cinema. But my suggestion would be to pay the extra cash, since you are gonna be in there anyway, and check out the rest of the museum and Body Works. And yes, most questions will be science related, but science is a very broad term.
Related: Johnny to perform at Planetarium.

Well, the longstanding media conspiracy against Johnny Goodtimes continues, as the Philadelphia Metro lists the best places to play quizzo, and none of Johnny’s spots are included. The New Deck, however, does make an appearance, as do Roosevelt’s, Fergie’s, and Bridget Foy’s. It looks like it’s back to the drawing board for Goodtimes, who has to find some way to make his quizzo more acceptable to the mass media. There are rumblings of a Bobby Badtimes appearance in time for Valentine’s Day, so I’m sure he’ll have something to say about this. If you are disgusted by this glaring omission (I mean, seriously, Roosevelt’s?), please feel free to contact the writer, Chris Cipriano, at chris.cipriano@metro.us. And yeah, I’ll give a $15 gift certificate to the Good Dog to whoever writes the funniest letter to the editor (just cc it to johnny@johnnygoodtimes.com).