Have you ever decided to rent a movie because it got great reviews, then watch it and be convinced that all movie reviewers are glue addicts? This was the case with History of Violence, which every reviewer and their mom thought was great, but which was absolutely awful, sort of like a Jean Claude Van Damme pic, except with a less plausible storyline. I mean, this may honestly be the most worthless film I’ve seen in years, and yet every reviewer I read thought it was pure genius. Did anybody else see this film and think it looked like something that should be on the USA network at 3 in the morning?
Johnny Goes to Marra’s
I went to Marra’s in South Philly with a couple of ladies from Team Swampass, Ginny and Ellen. The place looks great from the outside, and has a cozy feel on the interior. The pizzas on the menu sounded pretty good. We went with one that was half-pepperoni, artichoke. The other, called the Bianca, was a bit more intriguing. I’ll let Ellen tell you more about it:
It’s combo of broccoli rabe, sun-dried tomatoes, and sausage kept every bite interesting. The sharp provolone was heroic in proportion and in garlic dose, perhaps a plus to some, but I wouldn’t have minded a little
more restraint in both departments. This is definitely a dinner pizza. I would get the red pie with half ‘roni, half artichoke anytime. Here, the tomato sauce complemented both the toppings and the excellent crust–neither
heavy nor cardboard, and just enough doughy moisture.
Tonight’s Show!
Here’s how it’s goin’ down. There will be a show at 8 p.m. tonight at the Franklin Institute, featuring cartoon shorts by Max Fleischer, Disney’s chief rival in the Golden Age of Animation. There will be a number of classic shorts, including several of Popeye and Betty Boop. Then, at 10, I will be hosting a cartoon quizzo, though NOT all of the questions will be about cartoons. But you can count on rounds 2 and 3 being about cartoons. YES, THEY WILL BE SERVING ALCOHOL! Come on, do you think your ol’ pal Johnny is really gonna make you come out on a friday night without an opportunity to numb your brain with booze? Between rounds, they will be showing a cartoon mosaic on the ceiling of the planetarium that I have been told is going to be pretty sweet. Tickets are $4 to play quizzo only, $8 to watch the shorts and play quizzo.
Media Circus continues-Johnny In the Inky
Yep, I made the food section. “But, Johnny,” you ask, “all you know about food is how to eat it.” Not anymore. As you know, I have become the self proclaimed Craig LaBan of pizza (I’ll have a Marra’s review this afternoon after Spanish class), and now my friend Ken and I are respected bakers. The article is actually about the two ladies I wrote about in my story, and about the jealousy they encounter on the bake-off trail. Please realize that my “bakers in Lancaster County” comment carries with a dose of sarcasm.
Related: Johnny Rocks at Intercourse
The Dilly-Yo
A’ight, peeps. I’m heading out to see the Phillies game, so behave yourselves while I’m gone. In the meantime, read up on the worthless piece of human waste who runs Geno’s Cheesesteaks on Philadelphia Will Do. It looks like Bobby Badtimes took the time to post a comment below the write-up. Then, just to prove that the more things change, the more they stay the same, a look into the time machine shows us that two years ago Johnny was every bit as successful with women as he is now. Oh, and if anybody runs into Eve, please have her call me. Thanks.
Congratulations Avi and Deb!
A few years ago, I had an ill-fated quizzo at Moda in Old City, where they refused to turn down the house music and where a bunch of guys in $200 shirts walked in about halfway through the game and just stared in disbelief, as if they had never seen a bunch of nerds before. I lasted a week. But one good thing came of it: Avi and Deborah hung out for the first time. They have played quizzo intermittently in the years since. And then, two weeks ago, Avi popped the question, and she said yes. (He didn’t drop the question at Moda, in case you were wondering.) Congratulations, guys!
Related: Man proposes via quizzo questions.
Johnny to host event at the Planetarium!
Hey gang, got another gig at the planetarium this Friday. It is part of the Franklin’s Institute’s Animation exhibit which is currently going on. Yes, that does mean that there will be some questions about cartoons and such, but not all questions will be about them. This will probably be a bit more like regular quizzo, except that of course there will be a laser light show between rounds. Last time the between round stuff was decent, but not great, but I have been assured that this time they will totally kick ass. This is gonna be a lot of fun. And yes, there will be booze. I will post more details on the site as I get them.
The blueberry bursts
Without boring you with details, last night was emotional and sleepless, and I staggered out of bed this morning convinced that this was going to be a really lousy day. I knew one thing-that there was no news that could possibly cheer me up, not a single thing. And then I got an email from Palestra Jon, which led me to this. Excitedly, I went to this. By now I was giddy, and I went here. Now, for those of you who are too lazy to click links, here’s the basics: Anthony Dimeo, the local blueberry mogul who has on numerous occasions threatened to sue me for things I’ve written about him on this website, got struck down in a court of law in a case against internet bad boy Tucker Max. Or, as Max so eloquently states, “I BEAT THE EVER LOVING S*** OUT OF ANTNEE DIMEO!!” So thank you, Anthony. Thank you for being such a total f****** douchebag that your failures bring me a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. And thank you, America. Because you give people like Anthony the right to think that being born with a silver spoon in their mouth gives them carte blanche to impose their will on the little guy, but you also give the little guy the chance to call these types of people exactly what they are. Total f****** douchebags.
Related: Johnny and Antnee named to Philly’s 40 Under 40.
Related: Bobby Badtimes has a few words for Antnee
Related: New Years Eve Party goes, uh, not so good.
Question of the Week
Before he went solo, Jimi Hendrix played with the Upsetters, the back-up band for what famous performer?
Oh, shnap
Hey, it’s 4:50 on a Friday, so I’m sure nobody reading this, but apparently my interview is online. Click here if you couldn’t afford to get your self a real Metro. Just had pizza at Marra’s, so I’ll have that review up in a few days, and I’ll have quizzo results up, uh, asap.