As you may or may not know, my 2nd favorite Founding Father other than Thomas Jefferson is the vice president that he despised, Aaron Burr. And every year, the celebration of Burr’s victory over Alex Hamilton gets me all giddy, b/c Hamilton was a cocky jackass, although I think modern America is much closer to his vision than Jefferson’s. Anyways, Burr has been relegated to one hit wonder status, which is unfair and unfortunate. It’s like Buckner. He got almost 3,000 hits and all people remember is that stupid ball between the legs. He was a hero of the Revolutionary War (Burr, not Buckner), though he totally got screwed by Washington (Buckner got screwed by manager John McNamara, who should have replaced him with Dave Stapleton). Burr was a politician’s politician, who, after agreeing to run as a vice-presidential candidate with Jefferson, decided to wait around and see if the House elected him President when a snag in the system gave them an electoral tie. After shooting Hamilton, he moved out west, where Jefferson claimed he was starting an insurrection. It has never been fully determined what he was doing out west, but despite being hated by nearly everyone in the US for shooting Hamilton, his shrewd lawyer skills got him acquitted of treason. He then bandied about Europe as essentially a gypsy, crashing on the couches of friends until they got sick of him, then moving ot the next country and next friend. I think many of us can relate (to the crashing friends couches, not the shooting someone and being charged with treason.) Finally, he returned to the US, where he became an extremely succesful lawyer. But let’s face it, the highlight of his career was the duel. Here’s some good duel stuff to get you through the day:
*The 411 on the 187.
*ESPN’s coverage of the duel. Pretty funny.
*Letters exchanged between Hamilton and Burr before becoming college roomates.
*Read what the seconds and the attending physician said about the event.
What???
Dan Gross just gave free publicity to some guy for being a complete and total douchebag. One of my favorite comedians, Jon Lovitz, was performing, and this guy starting heckling him. Needless to say, I hate hecklers almost as much as evildoers hate freedom. Here’s the report:
Port Richmond’s Mike Phillips says he was “just having a good time” at the Borgata Friday, when he heckled comedian Jon Lovitz, who was performing at the Atlantic City hot spot. Phillips, 30, first made a reference to an old Chris Farley “SNL” sketch, which Lovitz didn’t appreciate, and the pair exchanged words intermittently throughout Lovitz’s set. Phillips, a beer vendor by day, returns to the airwaves of WNJC (1360-AM) on July 19 for the Party Zone with Mike Phillips. He’ll host from 9 to 10 p.m. Thursdays. It can also be heard at wnjc1360.com. Phillips will have his schedule of guests at myspace.com/radio star2007.
Hey Mike: there’s a reason that Lovitz is playing the Borgota and you’re hosting “The Party Zone” on 1360 am, you hack jackass (Full disclosure: I used to host a show on 1360 AM). Dan Gross’s column is one of my guilty pleasures, but I think it sends a pretty poor message that all you have to do to earn some free pub is to heckle a famous comedian.
Question of the week
In what state did the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum open in 1997?
Willie Gee Gets Fired
Worry not, sports fans. Willie’s job on the website has never been safer, but things at the thrift store he was working at didn’t go so well. As you know, he has had several run-ins with employers in the past, and there was an “altercation” on friday that led to his dismissal. I’ll let him tell you what went down:
As far as the job went, I liked it all right, but it was always really busy, which was beginning to wear on me. Being on the register sucked, which is where I had the altercation with the customer. I’ve worked at a mall during Christmas and it wasnt nearly that bad. Then, when I wasn’t on the register I liked it a lot better, but I had to bend down a lot to pick stuff up and it was really bothering my back. Between that and playing sports at night, something had to go and I guess this was it. A lot of customers were pains in the asses, although most of the people I worked with were cool (except the one manager who fired me, I think we were on a collision course). I don’t know where these customers get off being so demanding. I’m not comfortable being that way, and the reception has never been warm when I have been. I think the lady at the register did have it coming, but I also feel as if I overreacted a little or at least lost my head a little. She decided she didn’t want the items that she had purchased because of my attitude, so I had to call in a manager to void the transaction (which made embezzlement pretty difficult). So, she started telling the manager all this bullshit so I made a pretty mean gesture (the “finger across the throat” slit motion) at her with little regard for who was looking, and the manager caught me. I was then terminated. I left pretty willingly, but then came back later in the day to drop off a letter regarding the incident and to pay someone the $2 I owed them. When that happened, this cop that gets paid to watch the place said I couldn’t come in there and was giving me some problems, so I called him a pig on my way out. It was quite a day.
Michael Moore puts the smackdown on Wolf Blitzer
It’s a Girl!
I became an uncle for the first time at 2:00 p.m. today, as my sister had an 8 lb. baby girl named Lucia Marie Sullivan. Here are some photos of the babies first hours!
Constitution Center Quizzo
In case you hadn’t heard, I’m gonna be hosting a Constitutional Quizzo at the Constitution Center on Friday night. All questions will have a US history theme, though you know if you’ve been to a quizzo at the Franklin Institute, I take themes such as “US History” very loosely. The Center will be open after hours (from 5-8 p.m.) with quizzo kicking off around 6 p.m. I know that you all are a bunch of boozehounds, so let me start by saying, “Yes, there will be alcohol”. Regular admission includes access to the museum and the Freedom Rising multimedia show (which, if you haven’t seen it, is an absolute must see). There will also be special tours of Signer’s Hall (that crazy room with the life sized statues of the signers of the Constitution) in which you will learn lurid details of the lives of some of the signers (It will make you feel like less of a sketchball when you find out that the guys who created this country were a bit shady themselves. At least, that’s the way I look at it.) I will have more details on Wednesday.
Around the Horn
-This from Dan Gross’s column: Actor/singer Frank Stallone, younger brother of some guy named Sylvester, signs autographs at 2 p.m. Thursday at Fresco Pizza Grill (228 South Newtown) at the Shops at Springton Pointe, in Newtown Square. That’s right, gang! This is your chance to get an autograph from the man who played Grady Purella in Outlaw Force!
-Happy Millard Fillmore Day! It was on this date in 1850 that Fillmore killed Zachary Taylor with cherries and cabbage and then took over as president. Millard “The Nourishment is Palatable” Fillmore went on to be our GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER (at least until G.W. Bush took office.)
-The Phillies receive their first standing ovation of the season…when they help secure a tarp. Sadly, Rod Barajas did not get trapped under the tarpaulin.
-Baby expected this afternoon. I’ll have photos ASAP.
Last weeks results
No stories since I wasn’t there, but here were the scores from last week:
TUESDAY
Dork Sided overcame Cornbread Mafia, 83-76.
Two Step Hustle and Flow edged Narcotyzing Dysfunktion, 90-89.
WEDNESDAY
Duane’s Wold wins a squeaker, 81-79.
THURSDAY
C+ Average defeats Lovely Lady Lumps at Good Dog, 69-58.
Hurtin Bombs knocked off Sofa Kingdom, 95-91.
Phils go for 10,000 today, Baby Planned for Monday
Well gang, the Sinking Ship known as the Philadelphia Phillies are going for 10,000 losses in the midst of a major slump (their 3,468th major slump all-time, also a league record). The question is, will my sisters baby get to witness this monumental piece of history? My sister is going to have a C-section tomorrow (the baby is now 2 weeks late, though the baby and my sister and the baby are both doing well). I will be staying until Tuesday, but will make it back for quizzo Tuesday night. Moving from babies to losers: The Phils are a mess, and the only drama surrounding this team other than 10,000 losses right now is this: will they keep Chris Coste when Jayson Werth returns? If they drop Coste again, I will refuse to follow this team anymore, because I will be convinced that the GM is sabotaging this team. It is obvious that Charlie and the pitching staff want him to stay. Check out this quote from Cole Hamels: “He’s got a great catching IQ. He’s so aware of what the pitcher has, what [the pitcher] is thinking and what the hitter might be thinking. On top of that, he puts up a great target. The way he catches it, he makes it look pretty.”
Hamels and Charlie aren’t the only ones who want him to stay. You can throw in pretty much any person who has watched Rod Barajas catch for more than an inning or bat more than zero times. And count in Mike Radano at the Camden Courier Post (who, incidentally, I used to hang out with every day when I was an intern with the Camden Riversharks and he was their beat writer.) And finally, when the Phils do lose 10,000, I hope the pitcher of record is Jose Mesa. That would be the storybook ending.